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The NBA Players Union Just Announced It's Ready To Make War On Owners
The National Basketball Players' Association announced today that it has rejected the league's "cap smoothing" proposal, an idea floated by commissioner Adam Silver that was supposed to be an artful way of dealing with the massive influx of cash that will be coming into the league once the new TV de...

Gio Gonzalez Successfully Plays The Meow Game During Interview
At some point, professional athletes recreating a scene from a stoner comedy that came out 14 years ago is going to get old, but I don't think we've hit that marker just yet. So it's okay to laugh at Washington Nationals pitcher Gio Gonzalez, following in former Falcons safety Thomas DeCoud's foot...

In The 1930s, Every Basketball Player Shot Like J.R. Smith
Today, the Illinois High School Association uploaded this here YouTube video of footage from the Illinois state basketball tournaments. Kinda cool. Now the wrinkle: the footage is from the Great Depression....

How One Of America's Greatest Sportswriters Disappeared
It was almost endearing how an ink-smudged, deadline-addicted newspaper editor of yore would squint through the smoke from his cigarette and ask a bright young man why the hell he wanted to write sports. An editor like that was usually about as sensitive as a bolt cutter, but he couldn't resist th...

The "Blurred Lines" Verdict Is Bad News, Even If You Hate Robin Thicke
Thanks to the decision of a Los Angeles jury yesterday afternoon, pop-music fans have a fun, frightening new game to play: Who's Next? No, not named after the Who album—though maybe its infamous pissing-on-the-wall cover shot might now inspire a lawsuit from Andrew Loog Oldham, who as the Rollin...

Darrelle Revis Signs With Jets
According to a tweet from his agents, cornerback Darrelle Revis has signed with the Jets, who he played for from 2007 to 2012:...

Evil Troll Spirits Invade Body Of Basel Keeper
Hm. We were giving Basel keeper Tomáš Vaclík the benefit of the doubt earlier, when he was frozen stiff by this nasty free kick, but judging from whatever's going on in that GIF above he might actually not be in control of his own body....

Porto Player Curls In Free Kick; Keeper Just Stands There Like "Nah"
That's got to be the worst feeling for a keeper, seeing a free kick swerve towards goal, knowing full well you have no chance of getting to it, and praying that the bangs off the crossbar or something right as you hear the ball twisting against the nylon of the net....

How To Score Weed
So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You’re cool, and you’ve come to the right place (within the wrong place). It’s not that hard to score bud with the right am...

Reports: Saints Trade Jimmy Graham To Seahawks
As first reported by Fox Sports' Jay Glazer, the Seattle Seahawks and New Orleans Saints have reached a trade agreement that will send all-pro tight end Jimmy Graham and a fourth-round pick to Seattle in exchange for a first-round pick and center Max Unger....

Jim Boeheim Is The NCAA’s Favorite Kind Of Shitbag
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering bowling, moon colonies, giant scorpions, and more....

Jadeveon Clowney Goes To Hospital After Teammate's Dog Bites Him
Texans pass-rusher Jadeveon Clowney had a pretty rough rookie season, which was erased almost entirely by a series of injuries. He's currently recovering from microfracture knee surgery, and now he has to deal with an arm that was savaged by teammate D.J. Swearinger's pit bull....

Which One Of These Spin Moves Is The Nastiest?
In one corner, we have Giannis Antetokounmpo dusting Quincy Pondexter on his way to a two-handed slam. ...

Bruins Rookie Follows "Adult Massage" Girls On Twitter Before Road Trip
David Pastrnak, a talented winger taken in the first round by Boston last summer, is already making an impact with the big club. The rookie has 15 points in 24 games since being recalled on Jan. 8, and has slotted in nicely in the Bruins' top six. He's also just 18 years old, and someone needs to sh...

Maybe Tony Parker And The Spurs Aren't Dead Yet
We've all looked foolish for the Is the sun finally setting on San Antonio? thing so many years in a row now that there's an invisible phone book-sized volume of hedges and mealymouthed qualifications and built-in escape routes affixed to the front of each new iteration of it. You just nod in its d...

When Muhammad Ali Was A Has-Been
The following is excerpted from Writers' Fighters and Other Sweet Scientists, a compilation of boxing columns by John Schulian, who wrote for the Chicago Daily News and Chicago Sun-Times. The excerpt contains 12 columns about Muhammad Ali that were written during the twilight of the champion's ca...

How To Lease A Car Without Being A Douchenozzle
So you finally landed that office job where you have to put on a suit and use pointless buzzwords. Here's the problem: All your coworkers drive fancy cars. You want to "look the part" and not show up with your rusted-out beater, but you can't make the payments on, say, a Bimmer or a Lexus. Or can ...

What Is Chip Kelly Doing?
Two months ago, Chip Kelly was given full control over the Eagles' football personnel decisions. Every trade, every signing, every draft pick—that's all Kelly. Which raises the question, given that the Eagles have been the single most active team ahead of the official start of free agency: what exac...

How Do You Let Someone Score From His Stomach? (Be The Oilers)
Alexander Semin deserves all the accolades for his effort on today's no-look goal from his stomach, but of course it happened against the Oilers. It's fitting....

This Monstrous Dunk Comes With Its Own Poster
It almost doesn't matter that St. John's got bodied by Villanova, 105-68, as the Wildcats clinched the Big East regular season title. Not when a photographer so perfectly captured Johnnies sophomore guard Rysheed Jordan doing this to Nova's Dylan Ennis:...