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The Red Sox's Lowball Offer Last Winter Probably Cost Them Jon Lester
Last winter, Jon Lester said he "absolutely" would offer a hometown discount to stay in Boston. In the end, the reason the lefty ace signed with the Cubs appears as simple as the Red Sox overestimating just how big a discount they could get away with proposing without pissing Lester off....

Washington's Andre Roberts, Bashaud Breeland Brawl During Practice
Washington's Andre Roberts and Bashaud Breeland traded punches at practice today. Breeland was covering Roberts on a drill, though it wasn't clear why the fight started. Roberts was nice enough to take off his helmet before landing a mean punch....

Cubs Sign Jon Lester, Are Really Going For It
Late last night, Yahoo's Jeff Passan reported that the Chicago Cubs signed Jon Lester to a six-year, $155 million deal. According to Passan, the Cubs managed to snag Lester by outbidding the Red Sox, who most everyone thought was the favorite to land Lester, by $20 million. The Cubs, it appears, are...

Jadeveon Clowney Out Nine Months After Microfracture Knee Surgery
Houston Texans 2014 number one overall draft pick Jadeveon Clowney will be out for approximately nine months after undergoing microfracture knee surgery yesterday, according to Adam Schefter. Professional athletes undergoing microfracture knee surgery have had mixed results, with some (Marques Colst...

Chris Rock's Rock-Star Moment: <i>Top Five</i>, Reviewed
Chris Rock has such a warm, magnetic presence that it's baffling that he has never seemed that comfortable as an actor. Cutting and ferocious as he may be onstage, onscreen he often comes across as timid, like he doesn't belong. (It's telling that when I think of his film career, the first thing t...

TCU Got Screwed, And That's The Point
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering LeBron and Kate, toilet coffee, jar monkeys, and more....

Cam Newton Hospitalized After Car Wreck
The Charlotte Observer is reporting that Panthers QB Cam Newton was injured in a two-car crash in the Uptown area of Charlotte today. Newton, whose truck overturned, was stretchered into an ambulance and taken to the hospital. (Update: Per the Panthers, Newton is listed in fair condition and spe...

Manchester United Are Back Where They Belong, But Can It Last?
Well, they've done it. They've survived the year from hell, with a hopelessly overmatched manager, a rumored but never unveiled treasure chest meant to revitalize a squad whose actual age was catching up to their prematurely graying and receding hairlines, a humiliating season of unending self-infli...

Fuck The British Royal Family
His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, looks like ...

Some Fun Photos Of LeBron James And The Royal Couple
A story in photos:...

Jonathan Bernier Humiliatingly Has No Idea Who Nelson Mandela Is
Nelson Mandela was a South African anti-Apartheid leader who spent 27 years in jail before eventually being elected as the country's first black head of government. You probably didn't need that insultingly curt biography, but Toronto Maple Leafs goalie Jonathan Bernier sure could have used it a f...

John Wall Collapses In Tears After Emotional Post-Game Interview
Last season, Wizards guard John Wall befriended cancer patient Miyah Telemaque-Nelson and helped the little girl meet Nicki Minaj. Miyah died today at the age of six, and an inspired Wall scored 26 points with 17 assists in leading Washington to a double-OT win over the Celtics. After the game, he...

The Bag Represents Everyone's Souls
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Stan Van Gundy Shows Us How Much It Hurts To Coach Josh Smith
One of the many problems Stan Van Gundy faced when he took over the Detroit Pistons was Josh Smith's dreadful three-point shooting. He shot 265 threes last season and only hit 26 percent of them, but Stan Van has managed to put the straps on him a bit this year. Smith's shot just 30 threes so far (h...

Elton John Fell Out Of A Chair
Elton John was at a tennis thing this weekend—some kind of exhibition tournament called the Statoil Masters at which Sir Elton was a team captain, or something—and he fell right the fuck out of a chair. Look at him fall out of that chair....

Robert Griffin III Might Be The Saddest Man
Don't be fooled by his season-high passer rating yesterday (earned with five snaps in garbage time of Washington's 24-0 loss to St. Louis). Robert Griffin III is broken up inside. Via CBS DC, Washington Post Skins writer Mike Jones recounts what Griffin's been up to since losing the starting QB gig:...

Chris Baker Confirms His "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" After Earning A Sack
Washington defensive lineman Chris Baker appeared to perform the "Hands up, don't shoot" gesture today after his third-quarter sack of the Rams' Shaun Hill, and he confirmed its meaning after the game....

Radim Vrbata's Patience Results In A Gorgeous Goal
Canucks forward Radim Vrbata waited, and waited, and waited. Then, he completely fooled Senators goalie Craig Anderson for his 12th goal of the season. Be sure to watch the replay at the end. So pretty....

Jeff Fisher Taunts 'Skins With RG3 Trade Haul Before Game
The Rams shut out the 'Skins 24-0 today, but St. Louis head coach Jeff Fisher punked Washington before the game even started....
