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The Wall Is In Bryce Harper's Head
After Bryce Harper clumsily ran face-first into the right-field wall at Dodger Stadium, we were assured—by Harper himself and others—that the incident would not prevent Harper from “playing hard” in the future. Those assurances may have been given a bit hastily....

Matt Bonner And Zach Randolph Give Us The Best Jump Ball Of All Time
This was absolutely the highlight of last night's Grizzlies-Spurs game. There's just something refreshing about watching two NBA players flail around like a couple of hapless rec leaguers. I hope every remaining game in this series features multiple jump balls between Randolph and Bonner, each endin...

The Cavs Are Willing To Trade The First Overall Pick
The Cavaliers beat the odds—a 15.6 percent chance, third-best in the lottery—to land the 2013 first overall pick. But the consensus top pick has questions, and he's not particularly what Cleveland needs. It would make all the sense in the world for the Cavs to trade down from No. 1, something that h...

Jalen Rose Says Tony Allen's Flop Was Worthy Of A Pulitzer Prize
When Manu Ginobili hit Tony Allen with a flagrant foul late in last night's Grizzlies-Spurs game, Allen engaged in a truly fantastic bit of theater by pretending that Ginobili's foul had caused him to slam his head against the floor. It was a flop for the ages (which doesn't change the fact that th...

Spurs Beat Grizzlies; All Anyone Cares About Is "We Did It" Guy
Memphis came back from a mighty deficit to force overtime in San Antonio (thanks to a questionable late flagrant foul call) but couldn't pull out the victory. It led one fan nearby to issue quite the verbal ejaculation. Deadspin I-Team, assemble....

The Way This HS Goalkeeper Loses State Soccer Championship Is The Worst
You gotta feel for the kid....

Kevin Durant Donated $1 Million To Red Cross For Tornado Relief
Earlier today, word got out that Oklahoma City Thunder forward Kevin Durant had donated $1 million to the United States Red Cross in the wake of yesterday's tornado, which leveled entire neighborhoods and killed at least two dozen in the OKC suburb of Moore, Oklahoma....

Santa Clara And Houston Will Host The 2016 And 2017 Super Bowls
At the NFL spring meetings in Boston this afternoon, owners voted to award Super Bowls L and LI—in 2016 and 2017—to the Bay Area and Houston. That leaves Miami as the only finalist to go home empty-handed. Should've paid for those stadium renovations, South Florida!...

Profundo
Head on over to SB Nation's Longform page and check out Eric Nusbaum's story on baseball's unknown slugger:...

Comedian Says Lance Armstrong Asked Her To Eat His Butt
Comedian April Macie is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Show, and on Monday morning she joined Stern to dish some gossip about disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong. Specifically, she told Stern that Armstrong once asked her to lick his butt in a hotel bathroom....

Get Smart
Andrew Marcus sold me his broken-down Intellivision system when we were in 5th grade for $20....

Sweet Dreams
From Carlo Rotella's collection of essays and stories Playing in Time, check this out:...


Aroldis Chapman May Have Been Done In By Delicious Pastries Yesterday
Aroldis Chapman, the Cincinnati Reds' usually invincible closer, blew a save yesterday when he surrendered two ninth-inning home runs to the Philadelphia Phillies. Although it's unusual to see Chapman get touched up like that, even the best closers have off days. No reason to get all worked up, righ...

Photoshop Miguel Diving Into Other Ill-Advised Situations
Miguel made quite the splash when he landed on two innocent spectators at last night's Billboard Awards. In fact, several more people have heard of Miguel this morning than had last night! Nobody said increasing that Q score was going to be easy....
![ESPN's Darren Rovell And The Fitness Model: A Brief History [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18o9ku1wcoys4jpg.jpg)
ESPN's Darren Rovell And The Fitness Model: A Brief History [Update]
May 11, 2009: Darren Rovell writes about Nora Tobin, a model he's never heard of whom he saw in an advertisement on his CNBC blog:...

Personal Best
From Pauline Kael's 1982 review of one of the great sports movies:...

Ottawa's Double-OT Winner Was Not A Thing Of Beauty
It damn well took long enough, but the 2013 postseason had its first multiple-overtime game. And sure it was sloppy, even downright ugly at times, but there's nothing quite like the home-ice reaction to Colin Greening's 2OT goal to keep the Senators alive....
