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Red Alert: Jim Nantz Compromised, Hacked E-Mails Contain The Whitest Sentence On Record
When a hacker found his way into our 41st and 43rd presidents' personal e-mail accounts, exposing records of correspondence among the former leaders of the free world as well as George W. Bush's haunting paintings of himself bathing, we all had a good laugh. Unfortunately, the hack had some collater...

Donut Flavors, Ranked
I don't think I'm alone in having a love-hate relationship with donuts. In a perfect world, I would be able to eat all the donuts I like. In this one, I have to wrestle with the fact that donuts are among the worst things I could ever ingest, somewhere between baby back ribs and C-4. A box of donuts...

Jason Whitlock Is Here To Accept Prizes And Answer Your Questions
Jason Whitlock has been writing about sports for more than 20 years. The former Kansas City Star columnist has also written for ESPN and AOL, and he now holds court as Fox Sports' national columnist. He is an esteemed recipient of Deadspin's Good Writering Award and he enjoys the television program ...

Roundup: The Best Beyoncé Photoshop Contest Submissions
We knew that a Beyoncé-themed Photoshop contest would yield hilarious results, and you guys did not disappoint us. Here are the best of your submissions. ...

This Photo Of The Georgetown And Butler Bulldogs Is Just The Cutest Goddamn Thing
The Georgetown Hoyas and Butler Bulldogs each have a pair of adorable bulldog mascots. Today, Georgetown Jack and Georgetown Jack Jr. welcomed Butler Blue 2 and Bulter Blue 3 (Butler Blue 1 is apparently dead retired. Sad face.) to their campus for a summit of adorability. That's how we got the pic...

Bizarro World Laker Bros Have The Sadface
The Celtics flew past the Lakers in last night's early national broadcast to the tune of a 116-95 score. It was an offensive explosion unseen from Boston until now, and it left some New England Lakers fans grasping for hope (or perhaps their sunglasses)....

Illinois Shocks No. 1 Indiana On A Last-Second Layup
This is how you gain and then lose a No. 1 ranking in a span of five days. Illinois's Tyler Griffey's uncontested lay-up at the buzzer sealed a huge win over top-ranked Indiana, a game in which the Hoosiers were up 11 with 6:30 remaining. ...

Brand New Star, Same Old Crap. <em>Identity Thief</em>, Reviewed.
Everybody is happy for Melissa McCarthy. After years on TV shows (Gilmore Girls, Mike & Molly) and small parts in movies (she's great in John August's The Nines), she broke through with Bridesmaids, getting an Oscar nomination in the process. She's a really funny lady who's ridiculously effervescent...

Photoshop Contest: Unflattering Beyoncé Pictures
Beyoncé performed during halftime at the Super Bowl this year. You may have heard about this. Beyoncé's performance was so captivating that the internet is still buzzing about it, although much of that buzz has to do with some pictures of Beyoncé that some consider to be unflattering. You know what...

The Killer Ex-LAPD Cop's Manifesto Has Advice For Tim Tebow
Christoper Jordan Dorner, the former LAPD officer suspected of killing three people and wounding two others, is still on the run. Local and federal law enforcement are conducting a massive manhunt for Dorner, who has been targeting cops as revenge for his firing from the force. Earlier this week he ...

Ray Lewis's Deer Antler Spray Was Another Imaginary Drug Scandal
Originally published in Bloomberg View...

John Wall Blocks Carmelo, Jukes Out Jason Kidd, Reminds Us That He's Still Very Good At Basketball
Remember when you saw a John Wall highlight reel for the first time? My first experience with him came courtesy of this mixtape from his high school days, in which Wall fast-twitches all over various high school gyms and generally looks like a space alien come to destroy our previous notions of wh...

For The Final Time, Gregg Easterbrook Is A Haughty Dipshit
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Curt Schilling Says Red Sox Officials Urged Him To Consider PEDs
Curt Schilling never did play in 2008. He spent the entire season trying to come back from a shoulder injury revealed before spring training, but not without some controversy. Schilling wanted to have surgery; the Red Sox, who had signed Schilling to a one-year contract, wanted him to treat it with ...

Todd Helton Reportedly Got His DUI While On A Drunken Lotto Ticket Run
Yesterday, we learned about Rockies first baseman Todd Helton's DUI arrest and were treated to his I-am-too-drunk-for-pictures-right-now mugshot, but specific details were sparse. We knew that Helton was arrested a few blocks from his house at 2:39 a.m., but that was about it. Thanks to TMZ, which ...

Pitch Invader Rushes Onto Field During Argentina-Sweden Match, Kisses Lionel Messi
While the U.S. was busy losing to Honduras in a vital World Cup qualifying match, other nations around the globe spent their Wednesday engaged in international friendly matches. One such bout became especially friendly, as Argentina's road trip to Sweden turned romantic when a Barcelona jersey-cla...

Jason Whitlock Is Sad He Can't Win A Pulitzer, So We Made A Special Prize For Him
We at Deadspin can't bear the thought of hardworking, important, tell-it-like-it-is writers being denied the pleasure of winning major awards. That's why we were so heartbroken this morning for Fox Sports columnist and nascent dwarf planet Jason Whitlock, who took to his alma mater's daily newspaper...

Joe Flacco Was Ready To Leave The Sideline And Tackle Ted Ginn On The Super Bowl's Last Play
How does a quarterback, helpless on the sidelines, deal with being on the brink of their first Super Bowl win? Tom Brady turned away, unable to watch. Eli Manning was giddy, probably planning to ride the Teacups over and over again. Joe Flacco? He was planning to cheat. Maybe he is elite....

Map: Which Parts Of The Country Were Calling Ray Lewis A Murderer During The Super Bowl?
The map above shows the concentration of geolocated tweets sent during the Super Bowl that contained both the words "Lewis" and "murder." We were looking for references to Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, who in 2000 was charged with murder in the stabbing deaths of two men after an Atlanta Su...

Soccer In The World's Most Violent City: The Game
Outside Magazine sent Ryan O'Hanlon to San Pedro Sula, Honduras, to cover the United States Men's National Team's first World Cup qualifying match. He's writing a daily dispatch from Honduras, which we will be republishing here....