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Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll
Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...
How To Cook A Pot Roast: A Guide For People Who Want To Live, Dammit
Somewhere along the way, it got common to treat Christmas dinner like Thanksgiving II: This Time Without Turkey—like a big showpiece meal for which amateur cooks are meant to serve up some impressive exotic culinary masterpiece far outside the bounds of their humble repertoire of comfort foods. Take...
The Buffalo Bills Are Not Moving To Toronto, Los Angeles Or Anywhere Else For At Least Seven More Years
The lease on Ralph Wilson Stadium was set to expire in July, and, while team owner and president Ralph Wilson has long said that the Bills wouldn't move while he was alive, Ralph Wilson is 94, and the Bills seemed to be inching further away from Buffalo every season. "Home" games in Toronto's Rogers...
What People Said About the Piece of Shit Video Game the NRA Made Six Years Ago
Welcome back to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of measured, thoughtful criticism from the user reviews of Metacritic and elsewhere on the Internet. ...
Jacked Creature: In Praise Of Tom Cruise's Relentless Intensity
There are lots of perfectly understandable reasons not to like Tom Cruise. His attitude about antidepressants. The Oprah couch-jumping episode. That church he attends. And, outside of his personal life, he's made tons of questionable professional choices, yes....
Dead Letters: "Your 'Journalistic' Reputation Is Now Toast"
Subject: idiots...
Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 16 NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...
Every Oral History Ever
The Classical did an oral history of Fire Joe Morgan this week. And while it makes for great reading (especially if you love FJM as much as I do and have ripped off FJM as often as I have), it occurred to me while reading along that every oral history is virtually identical. Here now is your univers...
Josh Hamilton Blames All His Late-Season Struggles On Quitting Tobacco
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Anaheim is getting a chaw-free Hamilton....
The <em>Other</em> Existential Threat To The NFL: RedZone Channel
Every December, we near the end of the NFL season and the coming of Festivus, a wonderful holiday that begins with an airing of grievances. It's a holiday we inflict on loved ones, because only loved ones teach us to feel a profound peevishness. The hidden wage of loving is having to pay close, agon...
The Knicks Tried To Trade Amar'e Stoudemire For Basically Anyone
Yesterday, Howard Beck of The New York Times wrote about the impending return of Amar'e Stoudemire to the New York Knicks. Most of the story is about the problems that Beck foresees coming along with Stoudemire's return, but buried within it is this bit of information:...
Shitballs And Bucketloads Of Cunt: The Year In Cursing
George Carlin's been dead for four years, but that doesn't mean the scourge of cursing on television is beyond us. Indeed, it was a regrettable year for foul language of both the intentional and unintentional varieties. Here's a sample of what corrupted our children's ears in 2012, with links bel...
Does <em>A Charlie Brown Christmas</em> Suck? A Very Deadspin Debate
It's Christmastime again, and, as such, your TV will be running some Peanuts specials throughout this week and weekend. If you have kids, you may not be able to escape them—the specials, that is. Could it be worse? We debated the matter last year:...
Serena Williams And Her Coach Had A Nice Boat Trip
Patrick Mouratoglou is Serena Williams's (French) coach. He's the shirtless man in this photo who isn't prune-shriveled. There are so many questions we have about the circumstances of this image, but we anticipate our questions remaining unanswered. So we will call your attention instead to the two ...
Here Are Some Photos Of J.J. Watt Bro-ing Down At The Club
The Texans clinched the AFC South with Sunday's win over the Colts, and defensive end J.J. Watt was eager to celebrate after the game. Those brash boozehounds over at Shot of Ginn have six photos of Watt bringing the cool to what looked like a swell time at the 5th Amendment in Houston, and we sugge...
Resistance Is Futile. <em>Les Misérables</em>, Reviewed
As someone who hasn't read the Victor Hugo novel and is only vaguely familiar with the musical based on it, I can't say I went into director Tom Hooper's version of Les Misérables with any expectations or cultural baggage. I suspect that's part of the reason why the film worked for me—or, at the ver...
All Hail The Power Of The Pregame Warmup
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
How Fred Gaudelli Turned NBC's <em>Sunday Night Football</em> Into The No. 1 Show On TV
With 7:30 left in the second quarter of an otherwise forgettable October game between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati, Cris Collinsworth said the name that had been on Fred Gaudelli's mind for at least five days. ...
How The Worst Commissioner In Sports Broke The NHL
Originally published in Bloomberg View....
Former Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton Has Been Working As A Las Vegas Escort
Suzy Favor Hamilton was a middle distance runner, competing in three Olympics—most notably, the 1500 meters in Sydney, where she collapsed to the ground coming down the stretch. But she's probably best known for this 2000 Nike ad, in which a sports bra-clad Favor Hamilton outran a masked chainsaw-wi...