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High School Reunion Horror Stories: I Am Never Sending My Kids To Private School
This weekend, so-called adults will have awkward high school reunions all across America. We asked you for your worst high school reunion horror stories. We're publishing our favorites during the holiday. Here's one, from reader Mike Bowers....
<em>Hitchcock</em>: For The Birds
Over time, great individuals can attain such a level of public adoration that any sort of criticism leveled against them is treated as sacrilege, whether they be Abe Lincoln, Mother Teresa, or a Beatle not named Ringo. Naturally, that inspires a certain kind of person to take dead aim at such sacred...
High School Reunion Horror Stories: I Disparaged The Dead
This weekend, so-called adults will have awkward high school reunions all across America. We asked you for your worst high school reunion horror stories. We're publishing our favorites during the holiday. Here's one, from NR, of Sparks, Nev....
Kenyan Orphanage Reenacts Larry Bird's Steal Against The Pistons
A group of Kenyan schoolchildren had already recreated Boston's misery, but they make up for it with this one, from Game 5 of the 1987 NBA Eastern Conference finals. Except for Bill Walton's dopey high-five, it's all here—Isiah Thomas's pass, Larry Bird's steal, Dennis Johnson's layup, the hugs, t...
High School Reunion Horror Stories: Bursting With The Belated Eloquence Of The Inarticulate
This weekend, so-called adults will have awkward high school reunions all across America. We asked you for your worst high school reunion horror stories. We're publishing our favorites during the holiday. Here's one, from a reader who wants his name withheld....
High School Reunion Horror Stories: So, Um, Why Are You Here, Again?
This weekend, so-called adults will have awkward high school reunions all across America. We asked you for your worst high school reunion horror stories. We're publishing our favorites during the holiday. Here's one, from reader "B. Green."...
Jim Schwartz's Illegal Challenge Doubled The Texans' Chances Of Winning The Game
With the possible exception of the tuck rule, the rule that tripped up the Lions and Jim Schwartz has to be one of the dumbest in the game. You don't have to throw the challenge flag because we'll review it on our own, the rulebook says, but if you throw the challenge flag we won't review it....
How To Eat Your Leftovers: A Guide For Slobs
The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" T...
High School Reunion Horror Stories: Ambulance Fight
This weekend, so-called adults will have awkward high school reunions all across America. We asked you for your worst high school reunion horror stories. We're publishing our favorites during the holiday. Here's one, from reader Vince Barnett....
The Jetsiest Jets Play Ever: Mark Sanchez Fumbles After Getting Floored By His Lineman's Ass
A Mark Sanchez fumble, caused by a teammate's ass in mid-pratfall, returned for a touchdown. God bless you, New York Jets. You're one of life's inherently funny things, like words with "k" sounds or Millard Fillmore or talking bears. ...
Take Your "Elite" Quarterback Argument And Shove It Up Your Stupid Butthole
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Here's A Young Basketball Fan Unabashedly Ogling A Cheerleader
I kind of feel bad for this kid. I mean, you can see the exact moment that he goes into total sensory overload. He's got courtside seats, and then there is free candy in his face, and then OH MY GOD BOOBIES. SUCH BIG BOOBIES. It's too much for one young man to handle....
Eating: A Strategic Guide
How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically spea...
Bristolmetrics: <i>SportsCenter</i> Introduces WAR, Degenerates Into Shouting About Basement-Dwelling Nerds
This a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....
In Prank War Before Big Game, High School Leaves Dead Cat On Rival's Doorstep
Tomorrow is the big Phillipsburg-Easton football game, an Thanksgiving tradition for the rival schools on either side of the N.J.-Pennsylvania border. Tensions can run high, but it's usually all in good fun. Over the weekend, Phillipsburg students stole "Red Rover," the stone bulldog statue that sit...
<i>Red Dawn</i>: The Movie That Will Make You Hate America
In general, I don't put a lot of stock in criticisms that accuse Hollywood movies of influencing social behavior. Yes, some films glorify violence, but rather than inspiring horrible acts, I think Hollywood mostly responds to what's already out there in the culture, catering to particular audiences ...
D-III Player's 138 Point-Game Is A Sham Record And Shouldn't Be Celebrated By Anyone
Jack Taylor, of the Grinnell College Pioneers, scored 138 points in a game last night, against Faith Baptist Bible College. It's a mindblowing number, shattering the old NCAA mark of 113, and it's being trumpeted as one of sports' all-time individual achievements. It is not. It is bullshit. It is ju...
How To Improvise A Last-Minute Feast: A MacGyver's Guide To Thanksgiving
Oh, shit. Thanksgiving is here? Already?...
An Exclusive Interview With The Lakers Bros From That GIF
Surely you've seen this GIF by now, featuring the two greatest bros to have ever attended a Lakers game. We were so enthralled by it that we made it our mission to discover the identity of those two bros and do whatever we could to become bros with them. We succeeded: both bros, Ryan and Brian—who a...
Despite Taking Top-Ranked Indiana To Overtime, This Georgetown Fan Had To Lash Out With The Double Bird
Indiana dispatched Georgetown last night 82-72, but not without a bit of trouble. The Hoosiers were unable to put away the Hoyas in regulation, and needed the extra five minutes to keep their undefeated season going. Even in the best moments of Georgetown's night, though, it seems there was one fan...