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How Do Recovering Cheaters Comply With NCAA Regulations?
While the NCAA has a vested interest in keeping premier programs strong, the Urban Meyer hire at Ohio State may still have been disheartening to those in charge of keeping the school's football team in line. Five months after paragon Buckeye Jim Tressel resigned in the wake of a non-compliance scand...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

After One Of The Most Excruciating Losses In Postseason History, The Nationals Sent Their Fans A Ticket Presale Notice For The World Series
Want Nationals World Series tickets? That is too bad, because they lost their series with the Cardinals in objectively horrifying fashion last night, and you can't even get NLCS tickets, or any tickets, because there are no more games for the Nationals. The loss was painful, the way they lost was tw...

How To Make French Toast: A Guide For People Who Are Not Insane
Let's make French toast!...

Todd Coffey Has A 14-Year-Old Friend Who Has A Kid And That Kid Has Some Interesting Views On Obama
Bulbous Dodgers reliever Todd Coffey signed up for Twitter in March of last year, but he's only tweeted 166 times, depending on whether you count deleted tweets. He has a few of those now, because he or someone with access to his (verified! because of course there are parodies) account went on a ver...

OK, Seriously, What The Hell Just Happened: The Cardinals Are Headed To The NLCS
Let's set aside the fact that the Nationals had the best record in baseball this year and the fact that the Cardinals had the worst record of any playoff team, because neither of those is the fundamental reason we ask this question: what the hell just happened? The Cardinals—the Pujols-less Cardina...

Nationals Buoyed By Fans' "Magical" A-Ha Singalongs To "Take On Me"—And Tonight's Was The Best Yet
As noted earlier this week, Michael Morse's walkup music choice of a-ha's "Take On Me" has become a rallying cry for "Natitude." The intensity of the singing has increased as the series has gone on, and tonight's eighth-inning rendition was truly a sight to see. Er, hear. [TBS]...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Race To The Bottom
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Justin Verlander And Kate Upton Are A "Good-Looking Pair," According To Justin Verlander's Grandfather
Say, did you hear the rumor that Tigers ace Justin Verlander is dating supermodel Kate Upton? Exciting stuff, no? Well, Celebuzz says it's true, and that "multiple family members"—Verlander's and Upton's grandfathers, to be exact—"have confirmed it."...

Less Is More: How The <em>Paranormal Activity</em> Movies Got Better With Each Sequel
Sequels are almost never as good as the original movie, so it's a downright miracle when a franchise gets better as it goes along. It's hard to think of many that achieved that feat, but here's one you may not have considered: The Paranormal Activity series....

Your Orioles-Yankees And Nationals-Cardinals Open Thread
Get excited! We've got two elimination games slated for today, as both series have come down to a Game 5. Will the Orioles continue their unlikely run through the postseason? Will Natitude prevail? Will Alex Rodriguez overdose on sleeping pills in the dugout?...

Alex Rodriguez Doesn't Suck Because He Stopped Using PEDs; He Sucks Because He's Old
Alex Rodriguez will be sitting on the bench tonight when the Yankees take on the Orioles in Game 5 of the ALDS. This is because A-Rod is mired in the kind of slump that 37-year-old sluggers tend to get mired in, but there are some who want to extrapolate more meaning out of his predictable decline....

Even If Icing The Kicker Doesn't Work, It's Better Than Never Icing The Kicker
Mike Tomlin iced the kicker twice last night, but with an unfortunate twist: First, he called a timeout on his own kicker, Shaun Suisham, who proceeded to miss a 54-yarder. Then he stopped the Titans' Rob Bironas just as he was about to attempt the game-winning 40-yarder. Bironas waited two minutes ...

Bud Selig's New, Random Postseason Knows The Soul Of Baseball Better Than You Think
Out of the 22 playoff games in the first two rounds of the MLB playoffs, 12 have featured at least one team on the brink of elimination, and six of those will have been sudden death for both teams. Bud Selig's new postseason format puts a lot more weight on single games, which has led many players, ...

<em>Friday Night Lights</em> Creator Tells Mitt Romney To Stop Using His Slogan
The internet loves a few things more than the regular population does. Chief among them are animated GIFs, pornography, and scripted NBC shows. But the internet does not love Mitt Romney. So when Romney co-opted the motivational cry of Friday Night Lights's Dillon Panthers, the internet smelled cyni...

Once Upon A Time, The Jets Were Willing To Bench Mark Sanchez
Drew Stanton was a Jet for all of a week. He signed to be the backup to Mark Sanchez, but other events intervened. Peyton Manning decided on the Broncos, so Tim Tebow became expendable. The Jets traded for Tebow, at a not-insignificant cost in both draft pick and money, and Stanton was the odd man o...

Beano Cook Changed How We Watched The NFL
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An Astounding Story Of Fraud, Blackmail, And The Fake Twitter Rumormonger Who Took On Liverpool
You don't need a ton of context to appreciate how batshit amazing this story is. Out of nowhere, a Twitter account emerges, claiming to have inside information. He floats some transfer rumors, scores a few hits, and all of a sudden becomes one of the more trusted sources covering Liverpool FC. So tr...

Student Reporters: Did A College Coach Ever Treat You Like Shit? Let Us Know.
We told you the other day about Charlie Weis, who flipped his shit over the coverage of his mighty Kansas Jayhawks in KU's student newspaper. A flack followed up with some passive-aggressive crypto-bullying of a student reporter. By all indications, going back to his time at Notre Dame, this is how ...

Listen To A Dallas Radio Host And A <em>Baltimore Sun</em> Reporter Call Each Other Names Because Of Tony Romo
Remember when Tony Romo hung up on Baltimore reporters but really didn't? Well, now you have to, because it's still a story. A story that involves even more HOT AUDIO....