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The Time I Tried To Get Tim Tebow To Sign <i>The Origin Of Species</i>
Earlier this week I went to a New York Jets open practice in Florham Park, NJ. I brought with me a copy of Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species with the plan being that I get Tim Tebow to sign it. It would have been a fun little bit of Gotcha! shmournalism, I suppose. Sadly, I was not successful....

Chris Berman At The U.S. Open: "I'd Rather Sit In The Corner Of A Deserted Warehouse And Slug Rats"
Chris Berman, the sentient sports fan's favorite punching bag, spent the last two days ruining the U.S. Open, according to many. Operating brains everywhere were firing off questions like "Why?" and "Is ESPN trying to kill me?" Probably not, but It is, of course, a symptom of the larger problem a...

You Whores: A Complete Guide To Woody Allen's Many Hooker Characters
When you've made over 45 films, it's pretty hard not to repeat yourself. Woody Allen's latest, To Rome With Love, which opens next Friday, has lots of now-familiar features: It's set in a touristy European city, it has a large cast (Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page), and it deals with matte...

Dead Letters: Jeff Garlin Defends Himself Against "Struggling" Charges
Subject: Hello from Jeff Garlin...

Tony Parker's Cornea Becomes The Tragic Collateral Damage Of The Chris Brown-Drake Throwdown
Noted musicians Drake and Chris Brown threw down at WIP, a club in New York, earlier this week. We, as everyone else does, have Drake's back. Everyone had questions: To what extent did Brown taunt Drake about Rihanna-related matters? How did Drake respond? And what, oh what, was Meek Mill's role in ...

Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...
![Are Jose Canseco And The Worcester Tornadoes Parting Ways? [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pv7v9vnhjfjjpg.jpg)
Are Jose Canseco And The Worcester Tornadoes Parting Ways? [UPDATED]
That's the speculation going around central Massachusetts after one of Canseco's teammates, outfielder Cameron Monger, tweeted the following early this morning: "Tonight will be @JoseCanseco's last game with the #Tornadoes. Hope he goes out with a bang." Monger has since deleted the tweet, but not...
![On Errors, Human Error, And R.A. Dickey's Maybe-Hitter [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pv5zyxqgwcwjpg.jpg)
On Errors, Human Error, And R.A. Dickey's Maybe-Hitter [UPDATE]
Today, Friday, we find out if R.A. Dickey threw a no-hitter on Wednesday. The dissonance of that statement should itself tell you what the "right" answer is. A no-hitter is about the mounting pressure of the late innings, the superstitious avoidance of a pitcher in the dugout, the social aspect of c...

No, I Will Not Fix The Overflowing Toilet Today: The Dadspin Father's Day Manifesto
Father's Day is a con. Every year, I expect to have a Father Day's filled with unlimited blackjack and gunfire-scented cologne, and every year it ends up being like every other goddamn NFL-free Sunday in existence. Father's Day is supposed to be MY day, but most of the time my family abandons any pr...

Yes, LeBron James Fouled Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant's shot with 10 seconds left to tie last night's NBA Finals Game 2 didn't drop, and now the series is tied 1-1. Arguing over whether a foul should have been called on LeBron James is silly; Durant just as easily could have been called for a charge moments before, and there's no guaran...

Heavy Wind Nearly Propels Grounds Crew Worker Into Orbit
Keep your eye on back row of grounds crew workers in the video above, specifically the fourth person from the left. Even if you can't find him right away, you certainly will by the six-second mark, when the wind launches him several feet off the ground. That's Kyle Smith, the general manager of th...

Charles "Peanut" Tillman Scornfully Responds To Local Teacher's Anti-Bears Math Homework
The Bears' Pro Bowl corner Charles Tillman was promoting his Cornerstone Foundation in a suburban Chicago runner's shop, when he was approached by a teenaged girl. She was the daughter of the store's owner, and she was just killing time doing her math homework, when she came across a problem she tho...

Erin Andrews's Contract Is About To Expire, And No One Wants To Hire Her Away From ESPN
Around the time that news of Michelle Beadle's departure leaked, there was (surprise!) a US Weekly report that ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews and Gossip Girl guy Chace Crawford had gone out on a "couple" of dates. There were also a bunch of tweets about how much time Andrews spends with models ...

Right Before Jason Kubel Homers, Diamondbacks Broadcaster Mark Grace Says Jason Kubel Will Homer
No, really. Just before Scott Feldman went into his wind-up to deliver a 2-0 pitch, that's exactly what Grace said. And, lo, that's exactly what Kubel subsequently did. Watch for yourself below....

The Stupid, Stupid, Unforgettable Madness Of Adam Sandler. <em>That's My Boy</em>, Reviewed.
There are few things in modern cinema as reliable as an Adam Sandler movie. Since 1992, he's appeared in at least one film every year except for 1997, and just about all of them have been terrible. And yet there's something oddly comforting and exciting about the arrival of a new Sandler offering. I...

Company Paid To Monitor College Athletes' Twitter And Facebook Accounts Has A Sock-Puppet Business Address IRL
Last month, we met three firms that colleges are using to monitor athletes on Facebook and Twitter. It's ethically and procedurally dubious work, so you might assume the companies would be extra-scrupulous about how they run their own businesses....

How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...

Gary Payton Has A Message For Seattle: "It's Not Our Team Anymore, Let's Move On"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Payton says he'll do all he can to bring a new team to Seattle....

From Ukraine With Love: 24 Racism-Free Hours At Euro 2012
KIEV & KHARKIV, Ukraine—The fast train from Kiev to Kharkiv takes four hours. I know this, although I am not on it. I want to be on it, but tickets are gone, sold weeks ago to assorted Germans and other more prepared fans traveling from the Ukrainian capital to the industrial city that lies 300 mile...

Dave Winfield Appeared In An 80's Ad For Toronto Tourism, Years Before Joining The Blue Jays
Dave Winfield only spent one season with the Blue Jays, but his role in helping Toronto win the 1992 World Series made him a legend in the eyes of Hogtownians. That wasn't always the case, though. After a 1983 incident in which Winfield killed a seagull during warmup tosses—an incident that earned...