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The Phillies Had Extra Security In Right Field For Bryce Harper Last Night
Bryce Harper's main crime, since arriving in the big leagues, was his haircut, which was the most offensive thing not attached to a reliever's chin. Now that the haircut's gone, Harper's just a young, captivating, toolsy outfielder. Who should hate him?...

That Oregon Prom Scandal Has Nike's Waffle-Soled Footprints All Over It
The story has the hook of a titillating local scandal: A married track coach goes to prom with a 17-year-old boy and loses her job over it. She's 41, her husband is 73, and they have a son who runs track too, yet some chaperone at the Condon (Ore.) Prom saw something worth complaining about, and now...

The L.A. Kings Created A Handy Infographic So The City's Media Will Know Who They Are
We've already tipped our caps to the social-media prowess of the Los Angeles Kings and their outstanding Twitter feed, @LAKings. And here they go again, staying ahead of the narrative as only they can....

TNT's Slow Zoom On Mitch Kupchak's Face In The Final Minutes Of The Lakers' Season Was Sadistic
Only true Lakers believers (or the truly blind) couldn't see the Lakers' season was nearing an end long before the horn sounded on last night's 106-90 series-seizing Thunder victory. Yet it seems the moment of truth for Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak came at a time that TNT producers jumped upon for max...

How Readable Are Bill Simmons, Jason Whitlock, Rick Reilly, And Other Sportswriters? Science Investigates
The last time we played around with sportswriter analytics, we wondered if we could algorithmically determine a column's author based on his favorite words. (We could!) For a followup, I decided to look at the readability of different writers. Reading level is a nebulous concept and hard to define p...

LaDainian Tomlinson No Longer 95 Percent Retired, Is Now 96 Percent Retired
A lot can happen in a few days. On Thursday, the free agent running back told San Diego sports radio that he was 95 percent retired from football. On Saturday at a hospital fundraiser, LaDainian Tomlinson gave an updated figure....

Local Man Throws Football
Peyton Manning threw footballs today, while wearing a football jersey, to other people wearing football jerseys. This is important because it's been a while since Peyton Manning threw footballs, and people are really worried that he might not be able to throw a football as well as he used to throw f...

How A Career Ends: Ron Darling Celebrated His 35th Birthday By Getting Cut And Being Left Alone At Home
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Pitcher Ron Darling, one of 37 major leaguers in history born in Hawaii and the record holder, by far, for most major league seasons by a Yale University alum...

Jose Canseco Is Striking Out With The Young Women Who Work At A Restaurant In Worcester, Mass., Too
At the age of 47, and more than a decade removed from his career as a Major League player, Jose Canseco just won't quit trying to do what he loves the most: hitting on young women. According to a tipster, Canseco has taken a run at "about a half dozen" female employees aged 19-23 at a restaurant he'...

"A Drunk Chuck Knoblauch Hit On Us On The G Train"
The G Train, after dark, on a weekend, is a place where magical things happen. You may never get to where you actually want to go, but you'll find yourself right where you need to be. Witness the tale of Erin, a young woman from Brooklyn, who just wanted to get home last night. What she never expect...

Guy With Weird Dating Survey Defends His Data Collection Methods
Ladies, Mike Stolar is on the market. He's the (formerly anonymous) guy who asks some dates to fill out a survey. (An unsatisfied date passed the survey along to us last week, and we shared it, with a little backstory.)...

"Douche McGee" Got His (Or Her) Day In The Sun On SPEED
SPEED call-in show WindTunnel with Dave Despain is known for giving strongly-opinionated NASCAR fans a voice, and like many programs it's now featuring tweets from viewers. One such viewer, "Douche McGee," has an issue with the off-the-track drama that's emerged as one of stock car racing's hallm...

Rick Reilly Has Golf Jokes For You Because Rick Reilly Is Everything Horrible About ESPN
Do me a favor right now: Drive out to your local exurb. Now, find the nearest Cheesecake Factory in that exurb, walk up to the bar, and try and spot the 40-year-old fellow wearing pleated chinos, loafers, and a button-down shirt with his real-estate company's logo on it. You see that guy? THAT is Ri...

Antonio Cromartie Can't Stop Sexing Ladies, Apparently Married A Crazy One
Antonio Cromartie, he of the prolific loins, thought he had finally settled down. He married Terricka in 2010, and has two kids with her—and two more on the way....

Listen To The Real Jim Everett Berate Fake Jim Rome
Jim Everett, the former Rams, Saints, and Chargers QB (and current investment manager) is probably best known for charging at tiny loudmouth Jim Rome on ESPN2 in 1994, despite his long and fairly successful NFL career. Everett, the good sport, embraces it. He talked to us back in January when Rome's...

Stephen Strasburg and Some Other Guy Hit Back-To-Back Home Runs
Stephen Strasburg went yard this afternoon in the bottom of the fourth against the Baltimore Orioles. It came directly after Jesus Flores hit a home run making it back-to-back (and a belly-to-belly, some might say) home runs. It was Strasburg's first career home run....

LeBron's Choice Of Pre-Game Reading Material? <em>The Hunger Games</em>
ABC showed a brief clip of LeBron James in the locker room before today's Heat-Pacers Game Four in Indianapolis, and surprise of surprises, he was reading Suzanne Collins's young adult novel The Hunger Games. We won't shame anybody for their choice of reading material—indeed, we'd love for more ro...

A Sold Out Citi Field Plays Host To An Exercise In Futility Today (And The Mets Are In Toronto)
This afternoon, the terrifyingly-named Jewish orthodox group "Union of Communities for the Purity of the Camp" will be holding a rally against the evils of the internet ("and the damages caused by advanced electronic devices"), according to an article on the internet. The primary targets are what w...

I'll Have Another Wins Preakness, Forcing All Of Us To Watch The Belmont Stakes In Three Weeks
I'll Have Another nosed out a Preakness Stakes victory over Bodemeister with a late surge, ruining plans of a million Americans who'd scheduled something other than watching horse racing on June 9th. ...
