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Bristolmetrics: Fidel Castro Received As Many Mentions On <em>SportsCenter</em> As Kobe Bryant
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke. ...

New Orleans Gets The NBA All-Star Game, Again
Now that the Hornets finally have an owner who isn't every other NBA owner, it's time for the association to pay up. The 2014 All-Star Game will be held in New Orleans, which hasn't hosted it since all the way back in 2008....

On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...

Bobby Valentine Is Now Openly Antagonizing Kevin Youkilis
Kevin Youkilis has had a rough start to his 2012 season. He's hitting .200/.265/.223, and the Red Sox are 3-5. (CLARIFICATION: They were 3-5 when Valentine gave this quote. They're 4-5 now.) But it's the smallest of sample sizes, and the Red Sox got off to a bad start last year and everything work...

Ian Eagle Had A Whiny Meltdown Last Night, Accused Partner Mike Fratello Of Being "Patronizing"
The final minutes of last night's YES Network broadcast of the Celtics-Nets game were awkward after veteran play-by-play rock Ian Eagle inexplicably voiced his complaints to analyst Mike Fratello on-air....

The NHL Had A Good Day Yesterday
The Stanley Cup Playoffs, like the NBA playoffs, drag on for what feels like an eternity-spanning April, May and June. If every day shakes out the way yesterday did, however, then it might be worth it. Four games were played and three went to overtime. Four series had the chance to go 2-0 and all f...

Jacoby Ellsbury Placed On Disabled List After Dislocating His Shoulder Yesterday
It's been a tough April for the Red Sox. They're in last place in the East and are still dealing with the hangover of last September's epic collapse. Centerfielder Jacoby Ellsbury can't be blamed for either. He was the best position player in the American League last year (321/.375/.552, 32 HR), a...

History Lesson: The Time Matt Millen Punched The Patriots' General Manager In The Head
An occasional feature in which we recall notable incidents that we would've covered the hell out of had we existed at the time....

Bryan Stow And His Son Participate In Ceremonial First Pitch At San Francisco Giants Home Opener
Bryan Stow continues on his path to recovery following a vicious beating at Dodger Stadium that left him in a coma resulting in severe brain damage. The San Francisco Giants had hoped he would be able to attend Opening Day, but he remains in a care facility....

Dead Letters: In Which Two People Write Us Hoping To Reach Butterbean
Subject: Neighborhood gang terrorizing local families...

Kelly Shoppach Earned His First Stolen Base With A Very Weird Slide Into Second
Red Sox catcher Kelly Shoppach has played eight major league seasons for three teams, never once even attempting to steal base. That's zero attempts in 338 times he's stood on first base, by our count. That changed today when Shoppach took off for second on a delayed attempt in the sixth inning o...

This Is How Angry People Get When A Radio Station Pretends To Hire Jim Rome
Houston's KILT-AM recently ditched The Jim Rome Show after a longtime affiliation with the program. (14 years of Rome? Where are the Visigoths when you need them?)...

In Praise Of Stupid Laughs. <em>The Three Stooges</em>, Reviewed.
1. An old joke: "Why do women not like The Three Stooges? Because they're not funny." The appeal of The Three Stooges has always been inherently male, predominantly young male, specifically adolescent, glue-sniffing boy. Now, that's not to say that 10-year-olds the world over are obsessed with The T...

One Of Bernie Fine's Accusers Says More About His Made-Up Allegation; ESPN's Mark Schwarz Looks Even Worse Now
Back in January, once portions of his story began not adding up, Zach Tomaselli admitted he had lied about allegations that former Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine sexually abused him. That Tomaselli says so again in a televised report that aired this morning on CNY Central News is n...

What Is The CIA Hiding About The Missing DA Who Didn't Prosecute Jerry Sandusky In 1998? (Probably Nothing.)
We've written about Ray Gricar before. He's the former Centre County district attorney who declined to prosecute Jerry Sandusky in 1998, despite a psychologist's warning that Sandusky showed a "likely pedophile's pattern" of behavior. On April 15, 2005, Gricar mysteriously disappeared from central P...

Boston Fans, Boston Arena Conspire To Bludgeon Boston Bruin
Chris Kelly scored the winner and only goal of the game 78 seconds into overtime, and the Bruins swarmed him on the end boards. While celebrating, the nearby fans pounded the glass so hard that a panel came free, braining an unsuspecting David Krejci....

10-Foot Alligator Makes For One Heck Of A Water Hazard
The RBC Heritage (formerly the Heritage Classic) is going down in Hilton Head, and this being South Carolina, most of nature is trying to kill you. Brian Gay's third shot on the par-5 15th avoided the water hazard, but the water hazard came up to meet him, in the form of a 10-foot alligator....

Baseball's Unwritten Rules, Uncovered After 26 Years
A few weeks ago, I found myself in Austin and happened upon one of these flea market-type warehouses. It's like a ginormous, impersonal yard sale: People come with their stuff, set it up in their little station, put a price tag on everything, and hope it eventually sells. As it turns out, one of the...

Bay Area Sports Radio Legend Fired For No Apparent Reason
Imagine if Mike Francesa just walked into WFAN one morning for work, ready to start his regular shift, and management hauled him into an office, told him he was being fired, gave him 100 pages of paperwork, and said he had minutes—not hours—to clean out his desk and leave. Twenty minutes after that,...
![Jabar Gaffney Is Having A Twitter Meltdown Over His Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife And A Former Teammate Who's Also His Cousin [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17jdx4lnn3e94jpg.jpg)
Jabar Gaffney Is Having A Twitter Meltdown Over His Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife And A Former Teammate Who's Also His Cousin [UPDATE]
We're not really sure what to make of what's been happening recently with the Twitter account of Redskins receiver Jabar Gaffney. So far as we can tell, Gaffney is none too happy with both free agent cornerback Lito Sheppard and his own wife, though it's not clear if one beef has anything to do with...