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Emile Heskey's Elbow Thoroughly Mangled Johan Djourou's Nose
Today's Arsenal-Aston Villa match from Ashburton Grove got off to a violent start as Gunners defender Johan Djourou took Emile Heskey's elbow straight to the beak—though Djourou was as much responsible for propelling his face into Heskey as much as anything. Despite spending several minutes down o...

Trading For Tim Tebow Was A Football Move Of No Consequence
Tim Tebow is a media circus of the highest order, but his trade to the Jets is not a disastrous football move. Of course, it is not a great football move either. And Tim Tebow to the Jets is definitely not a move designed to push the Jets over the top in the AFC. But we already knew these things. S...

Canadian Security Guards Have The Best/Weirdest Haircuts
The Toronto Raptors blew out an uninspired New York Knicks team last night 96-79 at Air Canada Centre. Not uninspired (in fact, inspired)? This young woman's hairstyle....

Why Is This NCAA Tournament So Boring?
Unless you have a dog in the race (maybe next year, Rams!), the only truly compelling part of the NCAA tournament is the upset, preferably thanks to crazy buzzer beaters. We've had some upsets, most notably Duke getting bounced by Lehigh and Norfolk State taking over the news cycle for the tourname...

Mickael Pietrus Taken Off Court On Stretcher After Scary Injury In Celtics-Sixers Game
It was a rare and terrifying scene during tonight's Celtics-Sixers game as Boston swingman Mickael Pietrus was immobilized and wheeled off on a stretcher after a hard fall directly onto his spine in the second quarter. The incident was reminiscent of T.J. Ford's 2004 injury, as it's an uncommon s...

Baylor's Quincy Acy Delivered The Highlight Of The NCAA Tournament Thus Far With An Inbound Dunk
After three and a half rounds without anything breathtaking, the payoff finally came tonight when Baylor's Quincy Acy slammed home this inbound pass and helped hold off a surging Xavier team that was down big early to the Bears. [CBS]...

Your NCAA Tournament Open Thread: The Sweet Sixteen
Right right right. The NCAA field is down to 12 teams, what with half of the regional semifinals having been played last night. But it's still the Sweet Sixteen round for the eight teams slated to play tonight out of the Midwest and South regions. There's Xavier-Baylor at 7:15, Ohio-North Carolina a...

Dead Letters: "I Will Pray That GOD Will Help You Mature And Cleanse Your Mind And Mouth"
Subject: Retaking the SAT...

Cops: Bobby Jenks Said He Smashed Into A Car In A Strip Club Parking Lot And Had To Get Out Of There
We told you this morning about Bobby Jenks's DUI arrest much earlier this morning. Now there are more details from Jenks's arrest report, and they do not reflect positively on the Red Sox reliever....

7 Ways <i>The Hunger Games</i>'s Bleak Future Is Exactly Like All Other Bleak Sci-Fi Futures (Except With Lenny Kravitz)
The Hunger Games finally comes out today, but already the movie's been analyzed from every angle: its potentially huge box-office numbers, why Katniss Everdeen is a female role model, whether or not it's the new Twilight, and, perhaps most importantly, whether or not Lenny Kravitz's stylist characte...

The Spurs May Be Near The Top Of The NBA, But Their Tickets Are In The Cellar
Time for another look at the least-wanted NBA tickets of the past month. The list of teams on the discount leaderboard is mostly what you'd expect: the Nets, Kings, Jazz, and Hornets, all lottery teams if the season were to end today....

Dispatches From Fans Of Three Unlikely Sweet 16 Teams
Ohio: "My alma mater is in the Sweet 16. They shouldn't be there. A 13 seed. For a school I usually describe at parties as, 'Ohio University-not the sports one, the other one'—a school once (once?) best known for the frequency and vivacity of its drunken riots—this is bordering on surreal." Read » ...

How The Heck Did We Get Here? The Baylor Faithful Wander Out Of The Desert
We're running a series of dispatches from fans of unlikely Sweet 16 teams: Ohio, North Carolina State, and Baylor....

How The Hell Did We Get Here? An N.C. State Fan Warms His Championship Memories On A Hotel Hot Plate
We're running a series of dispatches from fans of unlikely Sweet 16 teams: Ohio, North Carolina State, and Baylor....

How The Hell Did We Get Here? An Ohio Fan (Sorta) On Rooting (Maybe) For His School Because Of A Hot Tub (Definitely)
We're running a series of dispatches from fans of unlikely Sweet 16 teams: Ohio, North Carolina State, and Baylor....

$15,000 Says "Brad Johnson Doesn't Finish This Game": More Tales Of Redskins Bounties
The NFL will tell you repeatedly that it's the cover-up, not the crime. That the harshness of the Saints' punishment is due to the lies and obstruction from the higher-ups, even moreso than the actual bounty program. They'll tell you this because they don't want to have to go around investigating an...

Bobby Jenks And Matt Bush Were Both Charged With DUIs In Florida In The Past 24 Hours
Bobby Jenks (right), who plays for the Red Sox and is not fat anymore, was arrested at 3:43 a.m. in Lee County, Fla., and was charged with DUI, property damage, and leaving the scene of an accident in which property was damaged. He was released at 8:45 this morning....

The NCAA Tournament, As Narrated By Weird Tweets That Got Past Its Filters And Appeared On The Bottom Of The Screen
Tweets stream below March Madness Live online in something called the Coke Zero Social Arena. Apparently, all you need to get into the Coke Zero Social Arena is a hashtag. You can't be profane, but that's about the only rule. So Josh Levin, on this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen po...

The Yankees Quit A Tie Game And Went Home, And Bobby Valentine Is Furious
It's only March, but new Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine is already in midseason antagonistic prick form. The latest controversy? A stupid spring training game, because the Yankees and the Red Sox can't even play a simple spring training game without being children....

DeMarcus Cousins Chases Errant Shot, Runs Face-First Into Basket
The irony is that Cousins really does everything he ought to be doing here. John Salmons pretty much tosses a jumpshot into the stands, and Cousins gets after it to try to maintain possession for the Kings. It's the basket stanchion that's recklessly sitting there. But that's good hustle....