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The Hit That Knocked Kurt Warner Into Retirement Sure Looks Different Knowing The Saints Got Paid To Injure Him
An NFL investigation that lasted two whole years has come to fruition, with the league announcing that the Saints defense had a bounty program over the last three seasons. The pool was orchestrated by defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, and reportedly rewarded players as much as $1500 for a "kn...

The Oppressively Nihilistic Anti-Comedy Of Tim And Eric, Who Think You're Stupid For Laughing
Every week, Tim Heidecker, with Gregg Turkington (who also performs as Neil Hamburger), hosts a podcast called "On Cinema." Like every other movie podcast, it features two friends and movie nerds talking back and forth about a particular movie. The thing about "On Cinema," though, is that it's horri...

Jon Hamm Channels His Inner Don Draper, Tells Letterman Bullshit Story About Playing Baseball With Roger Clemens
See update from Jon Hamm....

This Just Might Be The A-Rod Photo To End All A-Rod Photos
At least until he brings his own food into the men's room and has his girlfriend feed it to him as he kisses the mirror. But only then....

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, You're Fucked: 10 Tips For Avoiding Terrible Children's Books
As you may have heard, Jan Berenstain, the lady who co-created the Berenstain Bears series, died this week. And it’s measure of how bad those books are that some people wasted no time dancing on her grave. Now, it’s incredibly crass and rude to rip into a poor old woman who just died. But those book...

Devin Setoguchi Falls On His Ass In Season's Worst Shootout Attempt
The Wild, down three with four minutes remaining in regulation, miraculously sent the game to overtime on Devin Setoguchi's goal with ten seconds left. It's hero and goat for Setoguchi, who wiped out on Minnesota's last shootout attempt. Since forward progress was stopped, Carey Price didn't need ...

Watch Tim Kurkjian Watch J.P. Arencibia Do His Tim Kurkjian Impression
The voice is dead on. Either the Blue Jays catcher is a master of impersonation, or he's squeezing his testicles between his knees....

Colin Cowherd Is Obsessed With "Thugs," So Here's A Rap Video Featuring Colin Cowherd
Colin Cowherd's no stranger to racial controversy, much of it dealing with his portrayals of black basketball players. During a discussion of the issues plaguing UCLA's basketball team, no fewer than 25 iterations of the word "thug" appeared on Cowherd's program today, usually with a direct asso...

Dikembe Mutombo And The Case Of The Missing Congolese Gold
Earlier this year, the Houston Chronicle reported that Kase Lawal, a rich Houston businessman appointed by Barack Obama to a FTC committee, had become enmeshed in an illicit scheme to smuggle several tons of gold out of the Democratic Republic of the Congo in 2011. What caught the eye wasn't so much...

A Teen Movie That Really Wants To Offend You (And Show You Its Boobs). <em>Project X</em>, Reviewed.
Project X is one of those movies I suspect really, really wants certain people to give it bad reviews. Produced by Todd Phillips, the director of the Hangover movies and Old School, this teen comedy has set its sights on nothing less than being the most shameless, most titillating crazy-party film e...

13 Right-Wing Talking Points For The Simmons-Obama Podcast
As you might have heard, Bill Simmons finally scored an interview with Barack Obama this week. Now, we at Deadspin are obviously part of the Giant Liberal Gay Media Deathship, but that doesn't mean we can't at least try to strive for balance on occasion. That's why, as a favor to all the remaining G...

Alex Ovechkin Met A Contest Winner, And They Had A Cake With Both Their Faces On It
Ovechkin awakened from a weeks-long Twitter slumber to send out this photo with the caption "With lucky guy James who win Mr Big dinner with me. Hahaha))))" (Those are Russian smiley faces, I believe.) But—that cake. Can we talk about the cake? I could take or leave the dinner with Ovechkin — his En...

A Chain Reaction Takes Out Every Horse In This Race But One
That would be Miss Fifty, the favorite, who barely snuck inside the carnage as all the other horses went down. Sharp Beauty, in the lead, broke down on a muddy track at Charles Town in West Virginia, causing a seven-horse pileup....

Mike Milbury And Jeremy Roenick Nearly Came To Blows On NBC Sports Tonight
A discussion of rough play in the NHL appeared to approach violence itself as hockey dad Mike Milbury and analyst Jeremy Roenick engaged in a heated argument live on NBC Sports Network. ...

Babies Are Stupid
This is the baby's idea of a game: He keeps trying to throw himself off the couch, headfirst. It's completely intentional. I sit him upright, and he looks me in the eye, holds my gaze, grins—and then pitches over sideways. I grab him, reel him back in, and straighten him up, and he grins again and t...

The U.S. Beat Italy For The First Time Ever Thanks To This Clint Dempsey Goal
With Landon Donovan unfit to take the pitch, the U.S. wasn't given much chance to beat Italy in today's international friendly match in Genoa. But Clint Dempsey—scoring machine for Fulham of late—drew first blood for the Yanks off a timely pass from Jozy Altidore. It was the first non-penalty sco...

Exclusive: Former Reliever Mike Stanton Weighs In On Current Outfielder Mike Stanton Now Going By Giancarlo Stanton
The news came across the wires this morning that thumping Marlins outfielder Mike Stanton, who finished 5th in the NL with 34 home runs last year, will now go by Giancarlo Stanton, his birth name. (His full name is Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton, and he says he prefers Giancarlo.)...

What Happened To Robert De Niro? <em>Being Flynn</em>, Reviewed.
1. When did we lose Robert De Niro? The popular image of Robert De Niro, America's Actor, Master Craftsman, Maestro of Method, has lingered in the public consciousness in spite of his work over the last 20 years rather than because of it. De Niro these days seems far more interested in being The Pub...

The Pacers-Pistons Brawl Was 20 Times Worse In Person Than It Was On TV
Grantland has a fine oral history of the 2004 Pacers-Pistons brawl up today. Jonathan Abrams talks to almost all of the interested parties—Jermaine O'Neal, Steven Jackson, Scot Pollard, Joe Dumars, Jim Gray, Larry Brown, Tim Donaghy—save the forward formerly known as Ron Artest, and we learn many th...

The Strange And Feverish Saga Of The Tipster Who Had "Huge Brett Favre News" For Us
Call him Pete. He emerged from the internet at 6:13 p.m. on Feb. 6. "Huge Brett Favre news text me," read the subject line of Pete's email to Deadspin, followed by a phone number with a Wisconsin area code—West Bend, it would turn out. I was about to step into another man's fever dream. Or was it my...