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Vancouver Canucks Fans Vandalize Church With A Graffiti Penis, Can't Spell "Canucks"
Boston Bruins forward Milan Lucic is a Vancouver native who is apparently hated by his hometown neighbors....

Brighton Conceded Three Own Goals In Its FA Cup Match Today, And The Third Was A Work Of Art
Brighton actually outscored Liverpool 4-3 in today's 5th round FA Cup match at Anfield (one punctuated by this streaker). Unfortunately for Seagulls supporters, three of those goals were directed into their own net....

ESPN Fires "Chink In The Armor" Scribe
ESPN has acted swiftly and definitively to the outrage of its own creation. The headline writer? Gone. The anchor (Max Bretos) with a similar slip of the tongue? Suspended. Thirty days. The radio guy who made the same mistake? Someone else's problem—he's not an ESPN employee. Phew. ...

Mike Tomlin: Not A Fan Of Cameras
Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin dropped by Lexington yesterday to check out the top-ranked Kentucky Wildcats' SEC match against Ole Miss as a guest of UK head coach John Calipari, a Pittsburgh-area native....

<em>Saturday Night Live</em>'s Linsanity Cold Open Officially Exhausted The List Of Lin Puns
If you missed Saturday Night Live tonight (or if you live on the West Coast where it hasn't aired yet) here's the actually-okay cold open, which gives Linsanity the full treatment, with a heavy nod to last night's ESPN.com unfortunate turn of phrase. [NBC]...

David Haye Showed Up At Dereck Chisora's Post-Fight Presser, Tried To Beat Him With A Tripod
The circus that surrounded British heavyweight Dereck Chisora during his unsuccessful attempt to take the WBC title from Vitali Klitschko continued after the fight, when fellow Brit David Haye arrived to, apparently, start some shit....

We Have Our First NASCAR Wreck Of The Season
We have David Ragan to thank for opening the NASCAR season properly, with his push of Paul Menard leading to a multi-car wreck on the ninth lap of tonight's Budweiser Shootout....

Dereck Chisora May Have A Death Wish, As He Spat Water In Wladimir Klitschko's Face Just Before Today's Fight
It's the seventh round of Dereck Chisora's WBC title challenge against Vitali Klitschko, but the most interesting action took place before the bout began. ...
![Former NBA Star Tom Gugliotta Ejected From Game He Was Watching From The Stands [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Former NBA Star Tom Gugliotta Ejected From Game He Was Watching From The Stands [UPDATE]
Retired NBA star Tom Gugliotta was ejected by referee Karl Hess in the second half of of North Carolina State's home loss to Florida State today....

The Best Basketball Story Of The Year Has Nothing To Do With Jeremy Lin
This story may be a week old, but it's a good one. Cory Weissman is a senior at Gettysburg College (Division III) who hadn't stepped foot on a basketball court since suffering a stroke during an off-season workout as a freshman that left him "fully paralyzed on the left side of his body." Prior to...

ESPN's Headline Writers Join In The Linsanity: "Chink In The Armor" Edition
Linsanity is an unstoppable force that one can only hope to contain. Yes, according to many of you who read ESPN's mobile site, this is an actual "Chink in the armor" headline that the leader of sports—worldwide—blared to smartphone and other gadget users following the Knicks loss last night. ...

Linsanity Has Tripled The Price Of Knicks Tickets
The Knicks host the Hornets tonight, and it's the second of the five games on their current homestand. Want tickets? Good luck. Hell, even for Knicks road games scheduled more than a month from now, there's already little from which to choose. There are always tickets to be had on the online resale ...

In The 1980s, Bobby Valentine Chased Hookers Down The Street Until They Left His Sports Bar Alone
Bill Pennington has a story in tomorrow's New York Times about resilient Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine and the dark interim he spent between his retirement from pro ball and his time coaching....

20 Years Ago, Tim Wakefield Had A Fast Rise And Fall In Pittsburgh
In May 1992, Pittsburgh's two daily newspapers at the time—the Press and the Post-Gazette—went on strike. The walkout left the city without a paper of record for eight months, an unremarkable footnote of Yinzer history that happened to coincide with a most remarkable moment for the city's sports tea...

David Brooks Has Written The Dumbest Jeremy Lin Column So Far* (*Non-Bissinger Division)
"The moral ethos of sport," writes New York Times op-ed columnist David Brooks today—and let's pause right there for a word of professional advice: if you use the word "sport," you should not be writing about sports, unless you are British and you also write "maths," in which case you may write abou...

Cockblocked By Pop Geography Quizzes!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....


Tim Wakefield Is Retiring After 19 Weird, Fluttery Seasons And 200 Wins
The knuckleballer's mystique has long fascinated us. Our curiosity was only further piqued when Phil Niekro, Charlie Hough, R.A. Dickey, and Tim Wakefield went on a two-day retreat together in Georgia in the offseason. They're a fraternity of oddballs who throw odd balls....

Dereck Chisora Slapped Vitali Klitschko At The Weigh-In Before Tomorrow's Title Bout
In the annals of boxing blunders—and the exploits of Mike Tyson have made those some very thick books indeed—you may be unlikely to find an act so brazen and stupid as what Dereck Chisora did today in Munich at the weigh-in for his WBC heavyweight title fight against Vitali Klitschko. ...

A Panda And A Shrieking Monkey Are Stalking Bob Knight, As They Should Be
Your morning roundup for Feb. 17. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...