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This Is The Bill Walsh Coaching Tree On A Man's Ass
The ass you are looking at belongs to a 35 year-old intern for The Don Geronimo Show on 1140 The Fan out in Sacramento, California. Earlier in the week, the show posed the question "What would you do for NFC Championship game tickets?" Logically, the intern responded that he would get a tattoo of t...
Do Not Refuse The Post-Match Handshake Or Australians Will Boo The Shit Out Of You
Czech Tomas Berdych faced deafening boos and squeals (which are apparently some kind of Australian version of hissing) after refusing to shake the hand of Spain's Nicolas Almagro following Berdych's four-set win today in Melbourne....
Joe Paterno Dies; Paterno Family Releases Statement
The Associated Press is reporting that Joe Paterno has in fact died, according to a statement released by his family this morning. The full text, as provided by the AP, is provided below. ...
![Joe Paterno Is Still Alive [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4naahk7376jpg.jpg)
Joe Paterno Is Still Alive [UPDATE]
Eye On College Football's Adam Jacobi is reporting that Joe Paterno has passed away following complications associated with chemotherapy he was receiving for lung cancer treatment. (CBS Sports has since retracted that report, after duping organizations far larger than ours.) There are also reports ...
Here's Clint Dempsey's Hat Trick Today, The First-Ever By An American In The English Premier League
Our own Luke O'Brien predicted in August a big season for American midfielder Clint Dempsey as he started his sixth season playing for Fulham in the EPL, and the past two weeks have borne that prediction in a big way. Dempsey followed his FA Cup hat trick two weeks ago with another today against ...
Michigan State Head Coach Mark Dantonio Acts Like Michigan's Little Brother
During a panel discussion on recruiting before the Michigan High School Football Coaches Association, Mark Dantonio stoked the flames of the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry. While Michigan State sent its head coach to the event, Brady Hoke was busy being honored as a finalist for the Bear Bryant Aw...
Are The Giants Really Better Than The 49ers?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
![Another One Of Bernie Fine's Accusers Now Says He Lied [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f0lcipblfi4jpg.jpg)
Another One Of Bernie Fine's Accusers Now Says He Lied [UPDATE]
First, it was prison inmate Floyd VanHooser, the alleged fourth victim. Now, it's Zach Tomaselli, who had been the third man to come forward. Tomaselli told the Daily Orange, the Syracuse student newspaper, that he had doctored emails to bolster his claim that Fine, the former Syracuse basketball a...
"Ice The Motherfucker," The Guy From <em>Good Times</em> Screamed At Muhammad Ali: A Weird Life, In 4 Boxing Matches
Earlier this week, an e-mail from John Kaye showed up in my inbox. I didn't know Kaye but soon learned that he'd written the 1980 film Where the Buffalo Roam, the ancestor to the Hunter S. Thompson movies of recent years. Kaye had just published a lengthy piece in the Los Angeles Review of Books ent...
JaVale McGee's Mother Has Some Ideas About How The Washington Wizards Should Showcase JaVale McGee
The Washington Wizards may be complacent on the court, but no one works harder on finding hilarious ways to be dysfunctional. Today's contributor: JaVale McGee's mommy, who has complaints about her son's playing time, his role in the team's offense, and whether he's being coached properly....
The Alabama Teabagger Has A Mugshot
Brian Downing, the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan," as the Times-Picuyane puts it, turned himself in to police last night and has been booked on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity. Here's his endearing mugshot....
Well, This Is Pretty Much The Worst Ending For A Horse Race
And this is why you should never play the ponies: the human element....
"The Fans Would Throw Little Tinfoils Of Hash At Me": A 1980 Interview With Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Baseball's Stoner Evangelist
The folks at The Golden Sombrero alerted us to this wonderful piece of baseball history: a 1980 High Times interview with pitcher Bill "Spaceman" Lee in which Lee holds forth on drugs, Bowie Kuhn, race, reincarnation, drugs, drug use, drug abuse, which drugs Expos fans threw to him in tribute, eatin...
Yu Screwed Prince Fielder (Sort Of)
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...
Brian Downing, Alleged Alabama Teabagger, Has Turned Himself In
The Russell County, Ala., sheriff says Brian Downing—the man we identified this morning as the Alabama teabagger—visited the sheriff's office this afternoon with his attorney and spoke by phone with the New Orleans police detective investigating the teabagging incident....
Fausto Carmona Is Not Fausto Carmona
He is Roberto Hernandez Heredia. That is all....
The Patriot Way Is Now A Load Of Shit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Verducci Effect Is Overworked And Broken Down
Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci came out with his annual "Year After Effect" column yesterday, based on his hypothesis that that young pitchers tend to break down the season after an increased workload. Specifically, a pitcher 25 and under is supposed to be at risk if he pitched at least 30 more i...
We Can Rebuild Taylor Hall
Edmonton's wunderkind got sliced open by a teammate's skate at Tuesday's warmup, requiring 30 stitches and a promise to his mother that he'll wear a helmet next time. Hall spoke to reporters for the first time today, and rather than listen to what he had to say, they all just snapped cell phone pics...
ShortCenter: Adam Schefter Makes Fun Of Rob Lowe, Sources Say
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....