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The Homer In Winter: In Defense Of Tommy Heinsohn
Republished with permission from The Classical. Illustration by Jacob Weinstein....

NCAA's "Cecil Newton Rule" Closes A Loophole That Should Have Been Closed 50 Years Ago
Did you know there was a big Cam Newton scandal? It's true! People were getting all mad about it and everything! I know we've all got short memories, and Newton's better known for being Tim Tebow, but black and good, but it was just 14 short months ago that the NCAA was rocked by reports that Newton...

Jermaine O'Neal's Right Fist Was His Best Defense Against Vince Carter
Your morning roundup for Jan. 12, the day we learned another way to get rid of tumors. Photo via The Last Calrissian. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

ESPN Anchor Todd Grisham Would Like To Inform You He Has A Kidney Stone
We fully support transparency at ESPN, but this isn't what we meant. Heading into Wednesday night's ESPNNEWS Highlight Express, anchor Todd Grisham alerted the audience to his being in the midst of a certain painful medical condition. We'd wish him the best, but this is the same guy who thought a...

A Week Before He Was Charged With Child Sex Abuse, Jerry Sandusky Watched A Football Game From The Penn State President's Stadium Suite
That's according to what former Nittany Lions linebacker Brandon Short said during an appearance Wednesday afternoon on ESPN's Outside the Lines (audio above). Citing what he called "two independent sources," Short said Jerry Sandusky watched Penn State defeat Illinois from the box that belonged t...

That Is One Huge-Ass Spartan Tattoo, MSU Redshirt Freshman Special Teamer
Nick Hill has played all of 15 games for Michigan State, mostly as a kick returner. He's feeling good about the team and confident in his job security, because now there's no way he can ever transfer. [It's Always Sunny in Detroit]...

Of All The Great NBA Uniforms To Steal, Kuwaiti Pro Team Chooses The Wizards
If you were going to pattern your club after an NBA team, it'd have to be the Wiz, right, right? Al Kuwait, which plays in, yes, Kuwait, is getting some press after photos of their jerseys made the rounds. It's nearly identical to the Wizards' new jerseys, right down to the red white and blue repres...

What If Tim Tebow Were Gay? Your Hypothetical Tebow Questions, Answered
We get a lot of questions at the Deadspin Funbag, but the question we were asked most often during this NFL season was some variation of the following:...

Expect To See A Lot More Of Jim Rome, As CBS Plans To Use Him For Nearly All The Sports They Broadcast
Details of Jim Rome's future with CBS emerged today when new boss Sean McManus showed up on Rome's radio show to discuss all the ways the Tiffany Network plans to exploit their acquisition....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Hi, Tide!
It's time for the final installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be....

Let The Jets' Mutiny Against Mark Sanchez Begin
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

If Tim Tebow And Michele Bachmann Had A Baby, It Would Look Like Justin Bieber, NFL.com Reports
The National Football League has gone ahead and filled in what was really the only remaining question in global Tim Tebow coverage: Hypothetically, what would Tim Tebow's spawn look like were he to procreate with the weirdest array ever of female celebrities and public figures ever? Hypothetically....
![A Couple Of Beer-Swilling Guys With Beards Sat On The Mavericks' Bench Tonight In Detroit [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
A Couple Of Beer-Swilling Guys With Beards Sat On The Mavericks' Bench Tonight In Detroit [UPDATE]
At first glance, it looks like these two jokers kicking back with beers simply had seats at the end of the Dallas bench, but it soon becomes obvious they're actually seated between Delonte West and Vince Carter. It's tough to tell whether the best part of this is the video itself—complete with t...

Matt Garza Could Be Bound For Detroit
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

At Least One New Packers Shareholder Received An Official Certificate From The "Green Boy Packers, Inc."
Last month, for just the fifth time in the team's 92-year history, the publicly owned Packers launched a stock offering for 250,000 shares in the franchise. Here's the official certificate that a fan named Arvind received in the mail recently, which boldly acknowledges him as a shareholder in the "G...

Deadspin Inquires: Was Floyd Mayweather's Dustup With Larry Merchant A Put-On?
We're creating a new feature, folks. It's called Deadspin Inquires. You send us a sports question to investigate. It could be a riddle, an enigma, an urban legend, or just something that's been bugging you. Did Sonny Liston throw the Lewiston fight against Ali? Was Bison Dele eaten by his brother ...

Can You Abandon A Comatose Girlfriend Or Boyfriend?
Your letters:...

Sean Salisbury Says Goodbye To A.J. Daulerio, Whom He Once Sued
We're still roasting our former editor A.J. Daulerio, who has moved across the room to edit Gawker, a theater industry trade publication. Our guest now is Sean Salisbury, a former ESPN analyst and our onetime adversary....

All The 3:16 Bible Verses, Ranked By How Likely They Are To Foretell Tim Tebow As The Messiah
Ryan Fitzpatrick, Matt Ryan, Aaron Rodgers all had games in which they threw for 316 yards this season: nobody cares until Tim Tebow does it. Everyone's seeking meaning in random numbers, even asking for comment from "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, as if he was the first to claim the 3:16 verse as his ow...

Does Anybody Know A Nine-Year-Old Power-Hitting Catcher In Raleigh?
I'm not sure why I'm so taken by this Craigslist posting, sent in by a pair of readers, seeking a very specific sort of ballplayer for a Wake County (N.C.) 9U travel team. Maybe it's because all the nine-year-olds we remember from little league swung as hard as they could on every pitch, and because...