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<em>Monday Night Football</em>'s Experiment With A New Sideline Reporter Failed Miserably
ESPN paid the NFL $1.1 billion this year for the rights to broadcast Monday Night Football. To bolster that coverage and warrant that massive sum, they pay millions of dollars in salaries to NFL sideline reporters Suzy Kolber, Rachel Nichols, Sal Paolantonio, and Ed Werder....

Right Now, The College Basketball World Hates Phil Martelli
Todd O'Brien is a senior big man for UAB, but you won't find his name in any box score from the eight games the Blazers have played this season. He's not injured or suspended. Instead, his eligibility has been held up by his former coach Phil Martelli, for whom O'Brien played at St. Joe's before ta...

When The Lights Go Down In The City
The start of Monday Night Football is currently delayed due to this transformer explosion that blacked out Candlestick Park and presumably led to several copped feels. [ESPN]...

Albert Pujols's Wife Is "Mad At God," The Cubs Are Looking For A First Baseman, And More From The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
![ESPN Writes Bullshit Article On ESPN Employee [UPDATE: Ex-Employee]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4pvyhk17ljjpg.jpg)
ESPN Writes Bullshit Article On ESPN Employee [UPDATE: Ex-Employee]
Fundraiser: ESPN's James to bid for U.S. Senate...

Victor Conte Says Ryan Braun's Test Result Is Exactly What You'd Expect From Fast-Acting Testosterone, Not Anabolic Steroids
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Conte says Braun is "dead in the water."...

I Am Totally Not Going To Panic At All About Aaron Rodgers Getting Frighteningly Outplayed By Kyle Orton
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Ron Rivera Says The Panthers' Trick Play Yesterday Was Inspired By The Movie <i>Little Giants</i>
Carolina head coach Ron Rivera told reporters this afternoon that the Panthers' trick play against Houston yesterday was inspired by "The Annexation of Puerto Rico," the Fumblerooski play used at the end of the 1994 classic film Little Giants. Here's the play in question, which in the movie is cal...

UNC's Star Wide Receiver Wants To Violate A Bunch Of NCAA Rules For His Birthday
Dwight Jones is North Carolina's leading receiver this season, heading into the Tar Heels' Independence Bowl matchup with Missouri with more than 1,100 yards and 11 touchdown receptions on the season. The senior is projected to be a second- or third-rounder in the upcoming NFL draft. Thus, it's und...

Deion Sanders To Tony Romo: "Who Gets In Your Butt?"
He was just trying to see if Romo has anyone willing to challenge him in the way Tom Brady was, but Sanders definitely could have worded his question a bit better. [h/t to Jackie A.]...

Tom Brady Shows Tim Tebow What A Real Quarterback Looks Like
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
Kim Jong Il is dead. In 2009, we met his youngest son and presumptive heir, Kim Jong Un—a basketball fan, it turns out. Originally published July 16, 2009....

Elvis Dumervil Made Tom Brady Fear For His Life
Sure, the Patriots throttled the Broncos 41-23. But New England's victory didn't come at the expense of a little of Tom Brady's machismo, as the horrified look in his eyes upon this sack by Elvis Dumervil was more apropos for someone who wears Uggs. Which, I guess, means it's apropos—period. ...

A University Of Houston Foundation Is Embroiled In An Alleged Ponzi Scheme
The TicketCity Bowl is shaping up to be a who's who of scandalized universities. Penn State obviously is still most disgraced, but after losing over 40 percent of its assets in a potential ponzi scheme, a foundation that endows athletic scholarships for the Univeristy of Houston is at least putting...

This Time, Tim Tebow Worked His Magic In The First Five Minutes
Fans accustomed to Tim Tebow working his magic as the game winds down were treated to a surprise as the Denver quarterback found the end zone early in the Broncos' matchup against New England. ...

St. Louis Lineman Called For Holding Yells, "That's Not Fucking Holding!" Into Ref's Open Mic, And Then It Gets Weird
Rams guard Harvey Dahl disagreed with the holding penalty called against him late in the St. Louis-Cincinnati matchup, and told the referee as much in a colorful manner—while the ref's mic was still open and broadcasting to the Edward Jones Dome. That earned him another penalty and sent CBS announ...

Even In The NFL, Cam Newton Can Get Away With Trickery
Carolina took a 21-0 first half lead on the Houston Texans thanks to this bizarre play, one earning "Fumblerooski" references. That specific play was banned by the NFL decades ago, but...pshh.. rules. [FOX]...

Here's The Brutal Back Injury That Led To Bears WR Johnny Knox Being Carted Off The Field
There's at least one gruesome injury a week in the NFL, but they're usually of the ankle, knee, or elbow variety. This one's a bit different, and really pretty horrible to watch. ...

"Ragin' Cajuns" Just Rolls Off The Tip Of Your Tongue
Your morning roundup for Dec. 18, the day we got a call from Santa. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Penn State Wide Receiver Reportedly Knocks Out Quarterback Matt McGloin In Locker Room Scuffle
According to various Penn State reporters' twitter feeds, handily pieced together by Larry Brown Sports, the Penn State locker room played host to some more horsing around today as wide receiver Curtis Drake knocked out Matt McGloin following some "jawing in practice." ...