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This Evening: Logan Morrison, Intentional Dong
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 14, the day the hipster cop came to save the day. Photo via Twitter. And yes, he knew we would post this. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Caps And Pens Were Acting So Maturely For A While There
Alex Ovechkin—who once did this—called out Arron Asham for his post-fight gestures, so Asham fired back by calling Ovie a "hypocrite." Meanwhile, Brooks Laich wishes brain-addled players like Jay Beagle weren't coddled so much by the NHL's concussion guidelines. The teams don't meet again until Dece...

Curt Schilling Tears Apart Just About Everyone In Boston
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schill's never been afraid to speak his mind....

Cockblocked On A Boat!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Photoshop Contest: Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter
The internet has been passing around this photo of Ryan Howard for several days, or at least since it was discovered after being tweeted by a fan who snapped it at a suburban Philly Whole Foods. It is at once sadly and hilariously emblematic of the sudden conclusion to the Phillies' season....

Waitress Says Minor Leaguer Groped Her, Actually Said "Do You Know Who I Am? I Play For The ValleyCats"
Right, maybe we have glorified athletes too much in this country when a Short-Season A ballplayer feels empowered enough to pull the old "Do you know who am?" That's what one member of the Tri-City ValleyCats (a Houston Astros affiliate) allegedly told a waitress after grabbing her chest and behind ...

Brandon Marshall's Game Plan This Week Calls For Getting Ejected And Maybe Fighting, Just So You Know
Brandon Marshall has given us a reason to talk about the Dolphins for something other than how terrible they are, and it's because of what he intends to do during Monday night's game against the Jets. Apparently Marshall hasn't been himself during the season's first four games, at least according t...

SprtsCntr: Tony Romo Gets Petulant; Plus, More Wisdom From Eduardo Perez
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Arron Asham And Jay Beagle Give Hockey A Fight To Fight About
All right everyone, we're about to discuss a hockey fight, so I need you to put on your level heads. There's going to be talk of league office discipline, and a bit about the culture of enforcers, and maybe even a mention of concussions. These are topics that cause otherwise normal individuals to ...

Tony Romo Boldly Predicts That The Cowboys Will Win A Super Bowl "At Some Point"
There was Namath, there was Ryan, and then there was Romo: "This team is going to win a Super Bowl at some point. It's going to be exciting when that time comes." Smart move here. You really can't go wrong when your deadline is some time between now and, say, the apocalypse. [PFT]...

A Native American In Denver Turns His Lonely Eyes To Tim Tebow
Your morning roundup for Oct. 14, the day Snoop Dogg, a Welsh farmer and a "real big vegetable" made for the greatest broadcast news story ever. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage, via @SirKingRyan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Surfer Twatster Hannah Cornett Will Catch Those Who Distributed Her Facebook Updates, Facebook Status Says
We haven't heard from our girl in a while, since she's been very reluctant to contact us, except through her attorney, of course. Some good news to report from her dizzy little world: whatever treacherous online ordeal she feels she's endured since our first story ran, she's now got the swift arm of...

Did These Boston People (And Inanimate Objects) Pack On The Pounds, Too? Judge For Yourself
We're expanding upon the Boston Globe's investigative work into weight gain in Boston: "Did the Red Sox pack on the pounds?" the Globe asked. Well, why stop there?...

Dustin Pedroia Says Yeah, Shit Happens, But That September 11 Yacht Party Was Amazing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Regrets, Pryor's had a few....

Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez Ate A Piece Of Grilled Chicken In The Locker Room Today
"It's General Tso's chicken," Hernandez told reporters. "It's grilled, so it's pretty healthy."...

Tingling Sensations: From The Stands At Ford Field, Watching My Former NFL Teammate Get Knocked Out Of A Game
DETROIT—I'm here to see my friend Tony Scheffler play. He's a tight end for the Lions and my last, best connection to a modern NFL that churns through players too quickly to catch. This is my third season out of the league; sometimes, it feels like no one I played with is still playing. But of the f...

Who's Fatter, Josh Beckett Or Jessica Simpson?
If you were looking for a low point in the Boston Globe's ongoing coverage of the Boston Globe's version of the Boston Red Sox collapse, look no further! (We hope!) The paper now has a slideshow entitled "Did the Red Sox pack on the pounds?"...

Are Things Going Any Better For John Henry Over At Liverpool?
It's been almost exactly one year since Henry's Fenway Sports Group purchased Liverpool, so to mark the occasion, Henry agreed to a rare lengthy interview with the Guardian. Both parts are well worth your time, but let's draw out the interesting stuff....

A Not-At-All Homoerotic Tribute To Shoulder Pads
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

"Radiohead Wouldn't Play In The Big East Either": Occupy Wall Street Has An "Occupy Herbstreit" Photobomber
A brilliant human has launched a Tumblr called "Occupy Herbstreit," which features photos of an anonymous photobomber among the protesters in lower Manhattan, holding College GameDay-inspired signs overhead. Here's a sampling....