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Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...

Is This Wisconsin OC Paul Chryst Drinking And Dipping His Way Through A 51 Point Outburst?
We saw Twitter buzz about this last night, but this morning a tipster who shall remain nameless ("College football fans are crazy. I don't need people tracking down my Facebook account or anything.") sent along two screengrabs of Wisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst appearing to spit tobacco ...

Whoever Broke Into Chris Cooley's Art Gallery Did Not Care Much For The Art
Local police in Leesburg, Va. are searching for the suspect that broke into Chris Cooley's art gallery on South King Street early Friday morning. Thankfully, no art or pottery was stolen in the burglary. More importantly, though, Chris Cooley owns an art gallery....

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

Jockey Who Drove His Car Into A Race Track Security Guard Was Not Permitted To Ride Horses Today
Last night, Hall of Fame jockey Kent Desormeaux is said to have intentionally driven his silver 2003 Porsche Carrera into a lady "peace officer" in the Saratoga Race Course parking lot. Bad form, yo....

Deadspin Kicks Off The College Football Season
We love college football so much, we will spend the season ranking the sport according to its own logic, even where that logic might seem demented or self-contradictory. What matters: winning. Tradition. A tradition of winning. Crushing your rivals. Sportsmanship. Running up the score. Class. Swagge...

Holy Balls Christina McHale Is Ripped Too
Photographer Paul Frederiksen points out that Marion Bartoli's opponent, 19-year-old American Christina McHale, also has a Hulk arm. What deserves credit for this phenomenon? It may just be that the backhand shot is especially flattering to muscle definition—or it may just be that the rest of the wo...

Introducing Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So
Some people hate college football. Some people are obsessed with criticizing college football. The Deadspin College Football Top 25 Or So loves college football. We love college football so much, we will spend the season ranking the sport according to its own logic, even where that logic might seem ...

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...

Holy Balls Marion Bartoli Is Ripped
France's Marion Bartoli had a great run at Wimbledon back in June, but she and her Incredible Hulk arm are done at the U.S. Open already. She fell 7-6, 6-2 to 19-year-old American (yes, American! Alert the youth revivalists!) Christina McHale in the second round today. Perhaps she cut back on le pro...

This Is What Team Deadspin Looked Like At Last Night's Company Outing To The Mets Game
Your morning roundup for Sept. 1, the day we learned how to make it rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

At Least The Guy Caught Fornicating With A Pink Inflatable Raft Knows He Has A Problem
Reading what Edwin Charles Tobergta's grandmother had to say, through tears, after her dearest Edwin got arrested for banging an inflatable raft in Hamilton, Ohio — again — it's natural to question whether this constitutes entrapment. Edwin, who asked police to take him for help, is more a victim t...

Eric Bledsoe Can Fly
Here's a final look at last night's Goodman-Melo game—we posted highlights earlier today—from photographer Colin A.J. Murphy for Voice Media. You can see the full photo here....

This Evening: Watch Poor Ortis Deley Become The Laughingstock Of The World
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 31, the day we learned Bob's erection took on the consistency of Silly Putty. [Deley Video from SportsTvJobs/Deley's storybook firing here.] Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Wade Belak, Another NHL Enforcer, Found Dead (UPDATE: A Suicide, According To <em>Toronto Sun</em>)
Longtime NHL defenseman Wade Belak, who spent much of his career with the Maple Leafs, was found dead at 35 today in his Toronto hotel, according to a report from QMI Agency in Canada....

Insights Gleaned From Watching The Blurry LSU Fight Video Way Too Many Times
First watch the above video, a news report featuring surveillance video at Shady's bar. Then take a look at the one below, which purports to be cell phone footage of the actual brawl....

Broadcast People: We'll Pay For Old Footage Of Things Like That Fenway Three-Way And Chris Berman Yelling At The Help
Over the years, Deadspin has hosted some ESPN footage that was never intended for air: There was Chris Berman berating the MNF production staff, and more recently a Fenway fingerblast from 1995. (You might also recall the Bill O'Reilly "Fuck it, we'll do it live" video.) These videos first popped ...

High School Football Team Penalized For Excessive Celebration In Tribute To Dead Friend
Well, here's a sad story with no redeeming value to it! In Louisville, Ohio last Friday, the local high school football team came from behind to score a go-ahead touchdown with just over a minute remaining. This is the good part....

Michael Vick's $100 Million Contract Is A Lie
Everything you need to know about the NFL and its courtier press can be summed up in a single sentence: Michael Vick's much-heralded "$100 million deal" is not a $100 million deal, and the widely reported "$40 million guaranteed" is in fact neither $40 million nor completely guaranteed. ...