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Last Night's Winner: Al Davis, For Still Being Alive
Al Davis is 81, at least in human years. That he's walking and talking and introducing Hue Jackson as head coach is remarkable. Still, you'll thank me for not going with the hi-res versions of these photos....

Caroline Wozniacki Is Happy To See You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Meaning Of "Fuck Tom Brady," And The Genius Of Rex Ryan's Trash-Talking
Athletes talking shit to each other is hardly a new story. Every kid who ever played sports in high school knows that shit-talking is a time-honored tradition in competitive athletics. The winners shit-talk the losers; the losers shit-talk the winners; the fans shit-talk the players, shit-talk the o...

Masseuse Claims She Received Lewd Texts From Vikings Players, Including Brett Favre (NSFW)
Brett Favre's come-ons to massage therapists weren't limited to the two women with the New York Jets. Stephanie Dusenberry, an independent masseuse in Eden Prairie, Minn., who has worked with a number of Vikings players, claims that Favre sent her innuendo-laden text messages last September. She con...

Here, Stare At Deion Sanders's Freak Toe For A While
Sanders's foot went all gnarly after one of his surgeries in 1999. He was nice enough to show it off to viewers on the NFL Network yesterday. I think it's looking at me....

Tom Brady Didn't Sleep Well Last Night, On His Pile Of Money Next To A Supermodel
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Brady still claims the Jets didn't get to him....

When A Dance With A White Woman Divided An NFL Team
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the St. Louis Cardinals of the mid-1960s and their "racial problem."...

Boston's Pro Lacrosse Team President Apologizes For Inexplicable Halftime Lap Dance Contest
Well aware it'll take more than Frisbee-catching dogs to keep a fickle crowd entertained at halftime, the Boston Blazers opted for an edgier show to the disappointment of families who brought young kids to TD Garden Saturday night....

When Auburn Fans Descend On Walmart
The BCS Trophy made a triumphant tour of Alabama Walmarts, and Deadspin operative Cody was there to document it. With apologies to People Of Walmart, we proudly present War Eagle Nation, in its natural habitat....

Nothing Says Professional Lacrosse Like A Mascot Getting Several Lap Dances
People are calling this affair at the Boston Blazers home opener last night "the most distasteful halftime show ever." Wait until they see the Black Eyed Peas in Dallas....

Be Joe Buck's Sidekick At The Super Bowl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.(PHOTO:)...

Here's A Picture Of Ray Lewis Hanging In Effigy Near Pittsburgh
From a nameless tipster:...

The Public Demand To Rip Apart The "This Is Indiana" Rap Video Is Undeniable
So we'll oblige. Now, before you skewer, please keep in mind that these young lads devoted many, many hours into making IU a viral Christian Lander joke. Fire when ready. [Brice Fox and Daniel Weber]...

Cockblocked By Your Own Psyche!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

David Brooks Recalls That Time When Athletes Weren't Impressed With Themselves, Which Was Never
"Joe DiMaggio didn't ostentatiously admire his own home runs, but now athletes routinely celebrate themselves as part of the self-branding process," writes Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, who, in addressing the Tucson shootings, trains his surveyor symbols on our national immodesty. Any thoughts, Babe?...

Is This The Most Dick Move Imaginable In Sports?
There's nothing lower in pro spots than going for the groin. Alex Burrows went five-hole on Marc Staal last night, and, yes, the guy with the crushed testes got called for the penalty....

Last Night's Winner: Look At This Goddamn <em>New York Post</em> Cover
Just look at it. Have you ever seen anything so amazing in your life?...

Police Called To Bill Simmons's Home For Burglary Only To Find Mighty Mighty Bosstone In Socks
If not for a podcast of four lesser-known comedians, the world probably would have never heard about the absurd Keystone Coppery that went down during a recent football Sunday at the Sports Guy's manse. Follow along with the audio, courtesy Megaboom....

Wes Welker Makes 11 References To Feet In One Press Conference
In a mere nine minutes of Q&A, we noted Welker making an oddly high number of foot references. Here they all are for your sexual listening pleasure. The Patriots' trash-talking is a little more subtle than the Jets'....
