to Page 1782 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
In Which We Search For The Ideal Masturbation Finishing Technique
No time to waste. Let's get right to your letters:...
Last Night's Winner: The Rules, Technically (UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NBA schoolmarms, who time and again toughen up the rulebook to improve the league's cosmetics and who time and again wind up screwing with the game itself....
LeBron Watch, Day 7: Barack Obama Wants To Destroy Basketball In Cleveland
As the first week of LeBron Watch comes to a close, even the president of the United States is weighing in on the important matter, urging the King to come to Chicago....
PR Guy Gets A Little Handsy With TV Reporter
Click to view All Dan Noyes wanted to do was interview a woman about a hospital gift fund. He was rudely intercepted by the hospital's very touchy-feely communications director. Unstoppable force, immovable object, etc. Video after the jump. [SFGate, video via Today's Big Thing]...
Do You Believe In Unexplained Mystical Phenomenon?
Can Orlando continue to keep things interesting? Or will Boston continue to annoy everyone by being Boston? Consider the possibilities as you settle in for another night of learning and loving. Unless there's something I don't know about. Okay, then......
Taunting Tony Horton The Day After He Slit His Wrists: A Cleveland Fan Repents
The following is excerpted from Top of the Order: 25 Writers Pick Their Favorite Baseball Player of All Time, edited by Sean Manning and featuring essays by Matt Taibbi, Stefan Fatsis, and others. Here's Scott Raab, writing about former Indian Tony Horton....
Dear Commenters: See This Guy? He Was Mauled By A Fucking Bear. You're Next.
Goddammit. It's been almost one year since that glorious day where many of you hopeless turds were swiftly tossed out of this place for prolonged cuntiness and now that time is here again. FUCKING RUN....
An Interview With Mike Cetera, My Literary Cubs Foil
If you've read Are We Winning?, you know my friend Mike, a Cubs fan who goes to the game with my father and me and worries about his young son becoming a Cubs fan. Well, he still exists....
After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...
Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...
Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....
Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...
Photos From The World Poutine-Eating Championship Will Disgust You
Last Saturday, Toronto hosted the first-ever Major League Eating-sanctioned poutine-eating contest, and by the looks of it, it was a gravy-and-curd-soaked madhouse. Torontoist has an account of the festivities and more photos like this one of Pete "Pretty Boy" Davekos. [Torontoist]...
Is The Dude Using The Printer Watching You Watch Porn?
I went into a fitting room the other day and the room had mirrors on three sides. This is fucking awesome. I'll never NOT feel like I've walked into the middle of Enter The Dragon when I encounter a room with this kind of arrangement. WHICH DREW IS THE REAL DREW?! Also, if you enjoy studying yoursel...
Today In Tacky World Cup Marketing: Hyundai's Soccer Car
Soccer-ball wheels, soccer-cleat sideviews, artificial-turf interiors make for one hideous promotional vehicle. At the same time, shouldn't every sport be doing this? I want to laugh at a Ford F-150 outfitted with a Buccaneers helmet, stat. [Copyranter]...
LeBron Watch, Day 5: Conspiracy! LeBron James Wants John Calipari To Be His Next Coach
Mike Brown is gone. So, what does LeBron James really want in his heart-of-hearts, that unknowable place the media have never seen? It couldn't be John Calipari, could it?...
Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...
Nolan Ryan Buys Texas Rangers (Who Still Owe A-Rod Money, By The Way)
The Texas Rangers declared bankruptcy today, which was merely a procedural matter on the road to a $575 million sale to team president/good 'ol boy Nolan Ryan and his group of investors. First step? Pay off some really lousy contracts....
Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...
Renovated MSG To Bring Sports Arenas Into (A Six-Year-Old's View Of) The Future
The first thing that jumps out at you in the renderings of the new-and-improved Madison Square Garden are two "sky bridges" that hang over the floor. Gimmicky? Yep. Sure to be ridiculously-priced for something higher than the highest nosebleeds? You betcha....