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Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

A Roundup Of London Olympic Mascot Photoshop Fun (UPDATES!)
You people are clearly talented, and clearly bored. Our contest will continue through tomorrow, and we'll keep adding new submissions until then, but here's a look at the early competition. (UPDATE: We have a winner!)...

Presenting The London Olympic Mascots Photoshop Contest
The twin horrors of London 2012 are oh so exploitable. To that end, we're calling for your photoshopped submissions. Fabulous prizes abound!...

The Pittsburgh Ownership War Heats Up
Pirates owner Bob Nutting is still bitter over the Penguins' ownership group's attempt to buy the Bucs. When the Pirates fired back with a petty, "objective" column (on a team-run site) trashing the Pens for this season's failure, it ignited a firestorm....

Homeless Man Hops Wall, Strolls Across Outfield To Get To Concession Stand
The man interrupted the Altoona Curve's game because "he was thirsty from drinking vodka," so he hopped the outfield wall and made a beeline for the food stand. Actually, that does sound more pressing than completing a Double-A baseball game....

Floyd Landis Admits To Blood Doping, Claims Lance Armstrong Did It Too
Despite years of denials, disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is spilling his guts about his career-long use of blood doping and performance-enhancing drugs—and claiming that Lance Armstrong taught him how to do it....

Calvin Murphy Fires Up The Delonte Got With LeBron's Mom Rumors Again
Hall-of-Famer Calvin Murphy appeared on ESPN Radio in Houston today and as all basketball conversations must do, the topic turned to the rumors about Delonte West's dalliance with LeBron James' mom. Murphy's response: "It ain't no rumor."...

Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Junkyard Dog
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Junkyard Dog, who died in a one-car accident in 1998....

London Olympic Mascots Are Revealed, Monstrous
Wenlock and Mandeville, their cyclopean eyes representing England's Big Brother police state, were unveiled today. You might as well just sacrifice your firstborn now and get it over with. [Telegraph]...

Last Night's Winner: The Wizards, Somehow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Wizards, who, despite long odds, left the annual Secaucus Bingo Night and Bad Suit Competition with the rights to try and not screw up John Wall....

Yes, The "N" In ESPN Looks Like Boba Fett
You can now impress every PTI-obsessed stormtrooper at the next sporty Star Wars gathering you attend. Those exist, right? [TheDailyWhat]...

Watch An Intern Talk About Kobe Bryant On CNN
For some reason, CNN asked me for an interview after all that Kobe Bryant photo-shoot business and the Photoshopping you all did. Here it is. I am at your mercy. At least the CNN folks let me wear a shirt. [CNN.com]...

And Your No. 1 NBA Draft Pick Goes To ... The Wizards
Sorry, John Wall. Washington leapfrogs four teams to get the No. 1 slot. My vague, unverifiable prediction: The Nets will be glad for this in the long run, I think....

Texas Speedway Honors 87-Year-Old Benefactor By Killing Him In Fiery Crash
The WWII vet was honored — for "a lifetime of blood donations" — with a ride at Texas Motor Speedway when his car plowed into the wall, killing him. How will they honor him for his organ donations? [AP]...

Watch The 1972 NBA One-On-One Championship, In All Its Glorious Weirdness
In 1972, the NBA had a one-on-one tournament for $15,000. They played by twos, to 20, win by four. There was a "take-it-out" line that was not the three-point line. The NBA: Where weird but sorta awesome used to happen....

Shouldn’t All Priests Be Castrated?
It's Tuesday. Let's look in the funbag and see what's inside. Oooh! Big League Chew! Man, do I love Big League Chew. It's like tobacco, but for children! Do I chew the entire pack all at once? FUCK AND YES, I do. Oh, and there are some letters in here. Let's read them....

Last Night's Winner: Boston Self-Pity
In sports everyone's a winner — some just win better than others. Like Boston pity-partiers ready to commemorate their return to being sad-sacks after a glorious run of over-confidence....

Two Very Different Approaches To Honoring Your Contract
Houston's Andre Johnson wants to re-negotiate his seven-year contract that has five years remaining on it. Oguchi Onyewu wants to play for AC Milan so badly, he'll do it for free. Who is the dummy and who is the hero?...
