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Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Recall Much From His Draft Day
Which he blames on the 41 beers he says he drank (in fairness, they were Coors Lights). I wonder what he's drunk on in this video?:...
Jason Campbell Traded to the Raiders, LenDale White and Leon Washington Go to the Seahawks
Said Campbell to ESPN: "I talked to [Al] Davis, and he... wants me to help their team to a new level." Presumably Davis meant the 9th level, so he can take over for Lucifer in a frozen lake of ice....
Caps' Player Removes Own Tooth
After catching a stick in the maw during Friday's game against the Habs, Eric Belanger performed a little self-dentistry. He then entered into a gentleman's agreement with Kevin Kennedy to divvy up our girlfriends....
Fake Poop, Men In Dresses, Merril Hoge, And A Pissed-Off Steelers Fan: Killing Time At The NFL Draft
The NFL Draft is usually a hot bed of zaniness...inside. With a few cameras, some cash, and a Ziploc of fake poop, I set off for Radio City on Thursday to document the festivities at street level. Photos by Joseph Nolfo....
And "Comedy Week" Comes To A Close With An Angry Email From Sarah Silverman
Predictably, my littler temper tantrum about the Sarah Silverman chat did not escape her notice. She justifiably tore me a new asshole for my comments. Let's excerpt a portion of her email....
"The Homo Quota"—Inside The World Of Gay Softball
Earlier we wrote about three bisexual men suing the Gay World Series for excluding them because they "weren't gay enough." Let's examine the lengths organizers will go to to keep the sport gay, and how teams get around the rules....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Yokozuna
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Yokozuna, who died of a heart attack in 2000....
Frenchmen Don’t Want You To Get Laid. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Orel Hershiser Goes To Coachella: The Lost Tweets
You may not be aware of this, but late-'80s Los Angeles Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser has been missing for almost a week now. He was last heard from on Friday, April 17th, somewhere inside the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California....
Update: ABC Lawyers Are Freaking Out Because <em>Lost</em> Call Sheet Has "Elements Of Truth"
Well that's unfortunate. I guess this call sheet a reader sent us actually contains spoilers or something. [Gawker]...
Let Us Raise Our Arms In Salute To Juan Antonio Samaranch
That's the late IOC president, fourth from right, indulging in a little fascist nostalgia in 1974. Charlie Pierce has a fine sendoff for the old Falangist, of whom it should be said that he made the bribes run on time. [Pierce]...
What Does This (Possibly Fake) Call Sheet Tell Us About The <em>Lost</em> Series Finale?
This call sheet popped in our inbox from a reader vacationing in Hawaii, who found it on the floor of Nobu restaurant last night. Nobody at Deadspin watches the show. So we summoned Gawker's Lost expert to explain. Go crazy, internet....
A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....
Because Prime Time Is Where The Motherfucking Draft Belongs. Your 2010 NFL Draft Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
NCAA Tournament Adds Networks, Expands To "Only" 68 Teams
In a surprising move, the NCAA signed a new television deal that will add more networks to CBS's coverage of the men's basketball tournament, but will not expand the field to 96 teams. Wait, did they actually listen to us?...
Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....
Fat, Sweaty, Drunk Man Teaches You How NOT To Perform Standup
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why....
Microsoft Is Pretty Much Running Seattle Sports
It's not just the WNBA team that's a walking advertisement for Microsoft. The Sounders, Seahawks, and even Pete Carroll's draft strategy are all being brought to you by Bill Gates' brainchild....
Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...
<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...