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Down And Out In Daytona, Part 2: Among The Fornicators
This is the second installment of Pat Jordan's dispatch from Spring Break. Jordan, the author of A False Spring, took his gun and his cigars to Daytona Beach and filed this report over the mojo wire. Part 1 is here....

Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim: Making The Other Team The "Other" Team
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim....

Searching For...The Player Who Told Tim Tebow To STFU
One NFL hopeful shocked and delighted the world by telling Tebow to "shut the fuck up" after he requested a pre-Wonderlic prayer. But we haven't yet been able to put a name to the words. That's where you come in....

Video: Urban Meyer Threatens Reporter Over Tebow Quotes
The Gator coach had words — and almost more — with an Orlando Sentinel reporter over what he thought was unfair treatment of Tim Tebow. For a man with stress-related health problems, this was not a good moment for Meyer....

Marijuana 'Epidemic' Among Incoming NFL Rookie Class Is No Big Deal
The league believes that this is the deepest NFL draft pool in years. It's also one of the highest. To that, we say: so what?...

Beat Kansas, Win A Ten-Year Contract
Northern Iowa head coach Ben Jacobson just nailed down a new ten-year deal that nearly doubles his current salary. Also: Free corn-on-the-cob for life. [Waterloo Cedar Falls Courier]...

Autistic Kid's Perfect NCAA Bracket Can Easily Be Faked
No one is calling 17-year-old Alex Hermann a liar, but CBS Sports' "Bracket Manager" does make it impossible to verify that he correctly called all 48 NCAA tournament winners—and also makes it easy to forge a perfect score....

Swiperboy And Bruce Pearl's Son Make Tennessee Most Entertaining (Or Infuriating) Sweet 16 Team
Looking for a bandwagon NCAA team now that yours has been eliminated? How about Tennessee? At the very least, their smooth rhymes and maddening nepotism will give you something talk about at the water cooler....

Vinnie Jones And Becksie To Remake Classic Football Movie!
For those who haven't seen the 1981 football masterpiece, Escape To Victory, you're really missing out on something quite special....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 1: A Postcard From Spring Break, Circa 1983
Earlier this month, we sent Pat Jordan, author of A False Spring and a lot of fine sports journalism, down to Daytona Beach for Spring Break. He took a pistol and a van and sent back this report, via fax....

Tiger Woods's First Porn Mistress, Joslyn James, Publishes Something New: Wingman's Email
Joslyn James, Tiger's tawdry porn star hump-buddy best known for publishing those awful text messages, has returned with a new batch of quasi-incriminating evidence: Uchitelian emails from Tiger wingman Bryon Bell. See below....

Arizona Diamondbacks: Bronzing Laundry
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Arizona Diamondbacks....

Oklahoma Freshman "Leavin Skool" To Enter NBA Draft
Tommy Mason-Griffin poetically declared for the draft on Facebook: "its a official dat i am leavin skool....ask me y i aint doin anotha yr yue mite get ignored." Yeah, I think he's gotten all he can from higher education....

Dwight Gooden Charged With DWI (Update)
According to the Franklin Lakes, N.J., police, the oft-arrested former Met/Yankee (oh, and Indian/Astro/Devil Ray, too) was pinched early Tuesday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence. The tip we received and press release are below....

After Attempted Combine Prayer, Tebow Told To "Shut The Fuck Up"
Tebow reportedly requested the room bow their heads in prayer before the Wonderlic. Another player reportedly told him to "shut the fuck up." The nation reportedly offers a brofist. [PFT]...

Gators WR Excited For Passes Aimed Above His Knees
Deonte Thompson is not too sad about transitioning from Tim Tebow to John Brantley: "You know what I mean, a real quarterback." But how is Brantley's relationship with Jesus? [Orlando Sentinel]...

In Which We Learn That All Dominican Baseball Players Are Gay; Also: Hot Chicks In Cars
Got kids? No? Well, let me tell you one of the delightful side effects of parenting: manic depression. Oh, yes. I am officially fucking bipolar now. When around my child, I go from elated to violently angry at the drop of a hat. And this is because kids always take things too far. One second, you're...

Autistic Teen Has Perfect Bracket, Cannot Profit (UPDATE)
Alex Herrmann, 17, has a perfect bracket going at CBSSports.com's Bracket Manager. The odds of this are one in 13,460,000. Get that kid a fake ID and a trip to a riverboat casino. UPDATE: The kid's bracket, below....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: André The Giant
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: André the Giant, who died of a heart attack in 1993. He was 46....

How To Tap A Fucking Keg
We asked Awl contributor Abe Sauer to write a profanity-filled, Spring Break-themed servicey piece, one that could be useful for both dopey sun-poisoned college kids and backyard BBQ enthusiasts. The Awl agreed to let us borrow its occasional series. Enjoy....