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Animal Abuse: Funnier In The Name Of School Rivalries, But Still Wrong
Despite what Oregon's uniforms will tell you (and they'll tell you a lot of things), ducks do not naturally come in orange and green. This little fella was spray-painted by some Beaver fans and left to die....

BCS Chaos Is The Buzzword Of The Weekend
To those of you rooting for the BCS to embarrass itself on a national stage last night, take heart: we are left with the least desirable national championship matchup imaginable....

Robert Johnson Called — He Wants His SEC Championship Back
Alabama 32, Florida 13. [Pic via Rick Ankiel's Moustache]...

Urban Meyer Aborts His Defensive Line: Your SEC Championship Preview / Open Thread
So last weekend I went with @girlfriend to the teensie tiny town of Wetumpka, Alabama, which meant I had the chance to see the Iron Bowl in its natural habitat....

Just Be Thankful It's Not Cablevision
Dan Shanoff fantasizes about a world in which Comcast-NBC is an "online sports juggernaut" and Bill Simmons, Darren Rovell, and Tommy Craggs do trust falls at the company picnic. [Dan Shanoff / Pic via]...

Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...

Winter Of Discontent: Learning To Love The Vancouver Games
Did you know that the Jordan Palmer of amateur sports, the Winter Olympics, happens this February? It's OK — red-blooded sports fans can't possibly be expected to transition from the rough and tumble to Vancouver's prissy wonderland. Or can they?...

The One With Grady Sizemore Outrage And Antawn Jamison's Not-Gay Shoe Party
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Bobby And Me: Remembering College Football's Grand Old Coot
Bobby Bowden was the last of a species, a "big-time coach with an actual personality," writes Emily Badger, former Florida State beat reporter for the Orlando Sentinel, who once received the ultimate Bowden tribute: He forgot her name....

Sex On Ambien Shall Now Forever Be Known As "Tiger-Bonin'"
Tiger Woods round-up...The not-so-secret conversations between Eldrick and Lady Uchitel reveal more absurdly sordid details about their alleged humping sessions. And — get this! — Tiger isn't the only professional golfer who enjoys a piece of Strange Tang....

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Josh Hamilton
I was in Las Vegas celebrating my father's 60th birthday when Daulerio called to tell me he had drunk pictures of Josh Hamilton. It made me angry. No one wanted to believe that....

2010 Fifa World Cup Draw
For those who want to see foreign people fill-in brackets on a board, go to these fine places for live-blog updates....

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fame And Fortune On The Razor's Edge
Was it fate that brought down the dullest man in sports? Or was it something...sharper? We take a look at the history of Gillette pitchmen, and the woes that befell them soon after. Presenting, the Gillette Curse....

Jonas Gustavsson, IR-Upper Body (Heart Surgery)
Toronto's Monster will have his second procedure in three months to fix an irregular heartbeat. Wouldn't be the first time Leafs fans questions their players' hearts. [Toronto Star]...

What's-her-face Says She Didn't Do Tiger And Golf Media Is Crestfallen
Tiger Woods round-up...There are more allegations of Uchitelian proportions suggesting the other-other-other woman is has now denied all previous reports of her boinking Tiger. Gossip pages are thriving, but the rest of the golf media gets wistful....

Decade Retrospective: 2003
We continue our year-by-year look back at the decade with the year 2003, back we used Gopher to check our email, back when the Chicago Cubs were only 11 years removed from their most recent World Series. Simple times....

LOOK AT MY STRIPED SHIRT! Jamboroo, Week 13
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

"I" Of The Tiger: A Graphological Inquiry Into The Personality Of Eldrick Woods
Just who is Tiger Woods, exactly? We may never know, but at least we have the science of handwriting analysis to give us an idea. Graphologist Susanne Shapiro looked at Tiger's autograph for us, and she found it very revealing....

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Lenny Dykstra
We continue our week-plus look at this year's Sportshuman Of The Year nominees with the athletic embodiment of our financial crisis: Lenny Dykstra. Handsome devil, and charming too....