to Page 1847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're Running Out Of American History
A painting of Tommy Lasorda now hangs at the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Expect Vlad Guerrero shortly to lay out the painting with a broken bat. [LA Times]...
St. John's Also Excited About Ambiguous Weather-Based Mascot
Our college sports teams are rocketing into the 21st Century on a wave of aggressive, overcaffeinated, lightning-themed spirit creatures. Why is that bird looking at me like that? Is he smiling or mad? Get out of my soul, winged devil!...
The Worst Gambling Story Ever Gets A Little Worser
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering gambling debts, the BS Report, human centipedes, Nutella, and dead grandmas....
Dimwit Redskins Fans Don't Like Dimwit Who Called Them Dimwits
Today's idiotic Twitter war is brought to you by the Washington Redskins and their fans, who booed their own team during a less than inspiring 9-7 win over St. Louis, then were insulted by linebacker Robert Henson. Wait, who?...
Houston Astros Fire Their "Manager"
With 13 games to go in their dismal season, the Astros—an alleged "base ball" team from Houston—have fired manager Cecil Cooper. In other news, Cecil Cooper was apparently managing the Astros this season! [Houston Chronicle]...
Megan Fox Will Kick You In The Boner
Jennifer's Body tanked this weekend. I assume there are any number of reasons why. But somewhere on that list has to be the fact that people aggressively don't give a shit about Megan Fox....
And Down Goes A Yalie
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....
The Cubs Cannot Be Sold Until Shawon Dunston Takes Freshman Lit
"Looks like everything is running smoothly with the sale of the Cubs. Let's just finalize everything with your signature here, and...hold on, what's this? A retired journeyman shortstop never went to college?"...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Petco Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Petco Park....
The One Where Tim Tebow Gets Cornholed
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
This Man Has An Opinion On The NL West
Former Journey lead singer Steve Perry is a Giants fan. "Don't Stop Believin'" is the Dodgers' 2009 anthem. That, in the journalism industry, is what we call: conflict!...
I'll See Your Vagina And Raise You A Penis
Due to an obscure legal loophole called The Constitution, business can't restrict ladies' nights promotions to women. So when a man entered a ladies' poker tournament in Atlantic City, guess what happened?...
Bustin' Ass
It's been awhile since we last brought you a photo of a terrified adolescent mutton-buster being tossed about by an unsettlingly placid-looking sheep. Our apologies....
The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....
Mouthcurtains and Fake Gusgasms. Jamboroo, Week 2.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
The Relatively Short Goodbye Part II
Goodbye, cruel internet. Again....