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Maybe This Is Why They Called Him "The Lip"
We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....

It's Not Like The Mets Are In A Position To Ignore Advice
Do you know how bad the Mets are? The Mets are so bad that a team from Long Island is filming an instructional video to help, even if they play slow-pitch softball and they're sponsored by an assisted living company....

Not Gay Richard Jefferson Let His Girl Down Easy
Richard Jefferson is in full damage control mode after supposedly dumping his fianceé by emailing her at the altar or something. He's setting the story straight about the Black AMEX, the shadiness, and the money. Oh, and the gayness....

Tom Watson And His New Eyes Take Early Lead At British Open
Watson shot a 65 in the first round. Others in contention include Mark O'Meara and Mark Calcavecchia. No, you didn't accidentally get sucked into a wormhole. [Fanhouse]...

Fixing The President's Throwing Motion
As you know, our commander-in-chief took the mound last night and did an excellent impression of a man trying to throw a party balloon. I asked some experts to evaluate Obama's mechanics and explain just what needed to be fixed....

Jay Crawford: ESPN's Resident Hard-Ass
This is an excellent story. Take heed, North Jersey adult league recreational baseball pitchers: If you plunk the First Take host in the back of the neck, he may kill you. Full [Sic'd] story after the jump:...

Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...

The All-Star Game, Through The Eyes Of A Great Photographer
For the second consecutive year, I attended the Baseball All-Star parade. (Sorry: "Red Carpet Day.") This year, I even stuck around for the game. Witness my sad attempt at photography as we do an old school Road Trip....

Buzz Bissinger's <em>3 Nights In August</em> To Become 2 Hours Wasted At Your Local Multiplex
That other baseball movie is flailing about, but the adaptation of 3 Nights In August, Bissinger's Moneyball diss track and paean to Tony La Russa and the manly virtues of lineup construction, is moving along nicely. The nerds can't win....

Richard Jefferson In "The Runaway Groom"
New Spur Richard Jefferson was supposed to get married this weekend, but he put his fianceé on the train to Dumpsville just days before the nuptials. If only he'd remembered to tell his guests....

Sex, Gambling and Gluttony In The Morning. And Some Sports.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Note From Your Ninjas: Comment Of The Week And Other Things
Oh. Hello there. I didn't see you come in. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in trimming this bonsai tree it's like I'm in a whole other world....

Tour de France Riders Forced To Perform Without Mechanical Supplements
The Tour de France tried an "experiment" today—banning radios that allow coaches and team leaders to communicate with their riders during the race. It's almost like they expect these athletes to use their own brains!...

The Home Run Derby Will Rot Your Will To Live
As it turns out, Chris Berman might be the only person pitched at the right frequency for the Home Run Derby. After three hours of that — three hours! — I was almost afraid I didn't like baseball anymore....

The Bizarre World Of Children’s YouTube Videos
Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer....

Creativity In Full Bloom On The Kentucky Minor League Circuit
The Lexington Legends have a passionate hometown fan base that loves to let opposing players know they're appreciated for all their hard work and effort. Especially on dollar beer night. [Horace Grant Halftime Report/Intentional Foul]...

Nike Just Steals It
A woman in California is accusing the King Kong of clothing companies of stealing her trademarked slogan. Thankfully, this is America, where large, filthy rich corporations don't stand a chance against your average Jane Citizen....

Report: Unnamed Amorous Ballplayer Plays For Team That Appropriately Doesn't Know How To Score
Onetime declared virgin Jeff Pearlman knows which baseball player was cold mackin' on an intern in Houston recently, but he's not telling. All he'll say is that the ballplayer was — are you ready for this? — a Washington National....

Good Samaritan Gives Tom Brady His Much Needed $4,000
After hearing about the plight of an ex-con, panhandling to re-pay $4,000 to the Patriots' quarterback, a kind businessman has volunteered to pay the debt on his behalf—keeping Tom Brady blissfully unaware that anything has gone wrong....

Tony Romo And Jessica Simpson Reportedly Split For 98th Time
Until I see visual evidence of the Cowboys quarterback slurping blue cake out of another woman's mouth, I refuse to believe it. But People says they're officially kaput and Romo's getting his Goose on at nightclubs. [People.com]...