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Young Hardcore Guitarist Will Never Be A Clone Of Jim Rome
The band: Iron Age. The problem? Jim Rome. Spout-off, Wade Allison: "Jesus Christ is Jim Rome a fucking loser or what? I mean, everyone must know he's an extreme douchebag at this point." [Noise Creep via SMNNEWS]...

Yao Ming's Giant Foot Has Failed Him
Shit's broke. Like broke-broke. And fuck the Knicks. I'm sorry, this isn't the Brandon Jennings article is it? I must have gotten lost. [Yahoo!]...

The Lightning's Draft Pick Really Does Read The Articles
Q: What's the last book you read? Viktor Hedman: "I don't want to say. The last one was Jenna Jameson, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Delightfully tacky, yet literately unrefined. [JoeBoltsFan]...

In Which Kobe Shows The Mayor Who's Boss
Kobe Bryant thinks he's bigger than the mayor of Los Angeles. And you know what? He's right. Divas don't share the spotlight with anyone....

Marlon Byrd Has Questionable Judgment
Two pieces of surprising news. One, Victor Conte's not in jail! Two, there's still an athlete dumb enough to turn to him for supplements....

Triple-A Team Finds Tenuous Manny/Steroids Link
Manny Ramirez's time with the Albuquerque Isotopes was uneventful: four plate appearances, zero hits, one walk, and one near-riot when he left the stadium during a pregame rain delay. But some good did come of his AAA sojourn....

This Love Has Taken Its Toll On Me
Red Sox owner John Henry got married yesterday, and held his reception in Fenway's outfield, with the best guest list ever: Larry David, Ken Burns, Alan Dershowitz, the Farrelly Brothers, and Bud Selig. The live band: Maroon 5. [Boston Globe]...

How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil
Bob Bradley must be slightly busy right now trying to prepare his team to pull off another upset of a superior squad. Toilet-papering one of Brazil's finest is probably a strategy he hasn't considered....

Milton Bradley Is Uncomfortable, And So Is A Certain Water Cooler
Lou Piniella, Milton Bradley and a water cooler — not as sexy a ménage à trois as it sounds. And unfortunately, it turns out the water cooler is the Lucky Pierre in this uninviting threesome....

Wayne Ellington, His Girlfriend And Grandma: An NBA Draft Tableau
OK, so you've all had your jollies with that photo of new draftee Wayne Ellington and his comely friend. For my money, though, this one right here is vastly more interesting. I mean, just look at it....

Lou Piniella Adds Context To The Soto Stoner Saga
"Look, I have smoked dope one time in my life, and it didn't do a damn thing for me, and I never tried it again.... But a lot of people do (smoke marijuana). You can buy it in California from a pharmacy." [ChiTrib]...

Craig Carton Asks Jeniffer Capriati Naughty Questions, Media Explodes
On June 22, WFAN morning host Craig Carton asked Jennifer Capriati about threesomes, if her body is in shape, and other tawdry questions and now everyone is angry at him.[BigLead/NYP]...

Where Awkward Happens: Reading The Body Language Of NBA Draft Picks
The David Stern handshake is a newly drafted player's baptism into the NBA. It is also, often as not, hilariously awkward. We asked body language maven Patti Wood to analyze some of these moments from yesterday's Draft....

Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Rangers Ballpark In Arlington
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Rangers Ballpark In Arlington....

Erin Andrews Digs The Taco Bar And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Man Falls From Hockeytown's Roof...Reader Has Enthusiastic Report
This is unfortunate. A Tiger fan hanging out at Detroit's famous Hockeytown bar fell off the roof deck and landed on the sidewalk. We hope he's okay. But one intrepid reader was there to offer this [Sic'd/Sick?] report....

Mazel Tov, Omri Casspi
Casspi was selected with the 23rd pick in the Draft last night, which, in David Stern's mind, completely validates the NBA's entire push for globalization. Shalom, chaver. If Casspi — a 6-foot-9 small forward who had some success in the Euroleague — makes the NBA, he will be the first Israeli and se...

UNC's Ellington Happy To Be Drafted, But Sad To Leave 19-Year-Old Philly Girlfriend
He was one of the 49 players drafted by the Timberwolves."My girlfriend goes to Drexel, so she wanted me to stay local, as did my family. I'm not upset at all, though. This is a blessing."[Philly.com]...