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Maybe This Is What Threw Off Brad Lidge Last Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

All's Well That Ends Well With @TonyLaRussa (Update)
An unspecified Twitter loss is Tony La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation's gain, which means that Twitter parodies are not only funny, but also save the world. Or at least the cuter part of it....

The Last, Best Sports Staff
A long, long time ago, when writers puffed on cigars in the press box and sipped scotches with their sources, the best sports journalism lived in print. And nobody did it better than The Boston Globe....

<em>Moneyball</em>’s Deep: How Baseball Prospectus Is Like The Oakland A’s
Under Billy Beane, the Oakland A's won by scraping together undervalued assets. Since the rest of baseball has started valuing assets properly, the A's are having a harder time. The same thing is happening to baseball's leading propeller-heads....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Nationals Park
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Nationals Park...

A Night On The Town With Alex Rios
Alex Rios was 0-for-5 last night with 5 strikeouts. Oops. Obviously, the only logical response was to wait outside a charity event so you can heckle him on the way to his car....

Make Some Space On Your CBS Sports Fantasy Teams
Stephen Strasburg wasn't one of The Chosen Ones, but he is otherworldy enough to be one of Washington's starting pitchers before the MLB Draft. In all fairness, CBS' geeksquad was probably just prepping for summer vacation. [CBS Sports]...

The One Where Bill Self Gets Feisty
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Blazer Girl To The Rescue: Hello, Deadspin
Meet Blazer Girl. Her name's Cathryn White, and she's a senior at Oregon. She's here to judge how you support your teams. If you spot fans embarrassing themselves by wearing ridiculously awful team gear let her know. Rip City, baby....

Travel Tip #14: Never Take A Road Trip With Mack Brown
Texas' Mack Brown was one of the D-I coaches bunking up on that gladhanding Middle East tour this week, and he was kind enough to keep an online diary so everyone could know how godawful it is live over there....

Justine Bateman Was NOT Roman Polanski’s Hot Tub Victim
This week's second Deadcast guest is actress, producer, and avid tumblr, uh, er, Justine Bateman....

Like Mulan, But With More Devastating Foot Injuries
Yao Ming set to star in Chinese animated movie. [ESPN]...

The Mask Of Zaun-O
The Orioles' Gregg Zaun has been mocked all year as nothing but a "placeholder" for super-prospect Matt Wieters. The perennial backup catcher, however, outshines young Wieters and every other pro athlete in the most important category of all: Flash animation....

Tennessee's Ingenious Plan To End The Recession Hits A Snag
Tennessee plans a new tax on professional athletes—but not NFL players because "NFL rules would have penalized the state had it included their guys." Also, the Smokey Mountains to be renamed the Goodell Hills. [On The Forecheck]...

David Ortiz Suffering From Mr. Magoo Syndrome
There are already a million theories as to why David Ortiz has suddenly and cruelly turned into Junior Ortiz, but now David has one of his own to throw into the mix. He needs thicker glasses....

Jim Bowden’s (Extremely Brief) Return To Respectability
Jim Bowden, the disgraced ex-Nationals GM, stands accused of stealing ballplayers' bonus money. The team he built is on pace to lose 118 games. Naturally, ESPN wanted to hire him....

Deadspin Very Special Guest Editor Days Are Here Again...
And tomorrow, we've got ourselves a lofty one. Funny, but lofty. Perk up readers, skimmers and clever commenters who yell at the sun — Slate sports editor Josh Levin will be your sea captain tomorrow....

Yorvit Torrealba's Son Rescued From Kidnappers
The Colorado catcher's 11-year-old son and two of the boy's uncles were kidnapped in Venezuela, but escaped before any ransom was paid. The incident was kept quiet by police and MLB until it was resolved. (Safely, thank goodness.) [Denver Post]...

Keith Hernandez Chooses The Worst Possible Way To Describe Roberto Clemente
Clemente. Great ballplayer. Died in a plane crash. How to describe him? If you're Keith Hernandez, living endorsement for the seven-second tape delay, you say the following: "What a great player. And he could fly." Take that, Sterling. [The 'Ropolitans]...

Tracking Bryce Harper's Moonshot
Sports Illustrated claims that Chosen Person Bryce Harper, as a 15-year-old, hit a 570-foot home run in Las Vegas, an anecdote that is equal parts Sidd Finch, Paul Bunyan and Jesus. And I'll be damned: It just might be true....