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Jay Cutler's Late Night Activities Prompt Furious Debate
Bears' general manager Jerry Angelo isn't worried about Jay Cutler's drinking . Former punky QB Jim McMahon says "It's the off season!" And now for Julia Allison's side of the story....
New Mouth Guard Is Effective, And Most Importantly, Stylish
Look closely the next time Eric Byrnes steps in the batter's box. Focus in on his face, examine his mouth. Do you see it? Um no, I refuse to do this. Next question?...
Gary Bettman Does Not Appreciate Your Octopus-Throwing Antics
A Red Wings fan throwing an octopus on the Columbus Blue Jackets home ice? Sir, this will not stand! (Scuffle ensues — see photo)....
Tony Allen Is Not Very Popular In Chicago
Boston Celtics' guard Tony Allen apparently has angered some Chicago-area individuals so much they have threatened to kill him, prompting Tom Clancy-like security for him during last night's Bulls/Celtics game at the United Center....
ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...
Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....
Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...
Which Of These Nightmare Fuels Will Be The New St. John's Mascot?
What, no giant talking beer keg? St. John's has a storied and troubled history when it comes to mascots, and the current vote to find a new one is not going to help, it appears....
The Myth Of Lenny Dykstra Completely Unravels
ESPN's Mike Fish punctures the final holes into Lenny Dykstra's supposed financial genius with swift, purposeful blows. Hopefully, this is the last we'll hear about Dykstra for a long, long time....
Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....
Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....
Jeremy Tyler Is Too Cool For School
Sorry Rick Pitino; Jeremy Tyler will not need your services in 2011. In fact, not only is the 6-foot-11 center bypassing Louisville to play in Europe, he's even skipping his senior year of high school....
NHL Playoffs Operating With Deadly Efficiently
Boston brushed Montreal aside to complete their sweep last night and will see the second-round for the first time in 10 years. (Oh boy! More sports triumphs for Boston!) Meanwhile, we've already forgotten who the Canucks beat 4-0, Columbus neglected to set their alarm clocks for the Detroit series, ...
The Latest Men Of Steal: The Sixers' Marketing Team
After Andre Iguodala decided to turn into the player everyone's pretended he is during the stunning Game 1 upset of the Orlando Magic, the Sixers are doing everything to take advantage of the momentum....
Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....
Ole Miss Football Players Don't Read So Good
Mississippi lineman Jerrell Powe raised some hackles this weekend when he was cited by police for a noise violation—then told the officer that he couldn't sign the citation because he doesn't know how to read....
100-Year-Old Red Sox Bat Boy Says It's Go Time
Having learned from the Cubs that to reject a centenarian fan means certain doom, the Boston Red Sox are employing the spry Arthur Giddon as a bat boy for one batter on Saturday....
New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...
Oh, Poor Lindsay Soto
Breasts have always been one of the biggest drawbacks for female sports reporters. Show too much, you're a bimbo. Show too little, you'll be replaced by someone who shows too much....
Ghetto Golf Teaches Us About Urban Blight, Golf
An enterprising video game developer is working on a video game that combines "Grand Theft Auto" with "Tiger Woods PGA." I think even Russian mob-connected carjackers might find this one offensive....