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A Michael Vick Defender Anonymously Steps Forward To Offer Perspective
Michael Vick may return to the NFL for the 2009-10 season and The Modern Spectator offers one of the more entertainingly honest takes on this reality. Especially if you value human life over pets....

The Newest NFL Combine Event: Reverse Pool Jumping
Forget the bench press and Wonderlic. If you really want to see strength and fortitude in action, check out this video of San Jose State's Jarron Gilbert jumping out of a swimming pool....

Nobody Circles The Bedouins Like The Buffalo Bills Cheerleaders
Julie Dermansky is a New York photojournalist currently on freelance assignment in Iraq, where her next-door neighbors in the Baghdad hotel in which she's staying happen to be the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders....

Bud Selig: It's Not My Fault
The day before Alex Rodriguez makes his first Spring Training appearance, commissioner Bud Selig went on the record with Newsday to remind everyone that none of this steroid business could possibly be his fault....

Bong's True Owner Is A Pro Poker Player, Calls It 'My Precious'
The owner of the famed Michael Phelps bong? It's Zachery "Carter" King, 23, who won the 2008 Poker Stars World Championship of Online Poker Main Event, earning $1.3 million. That buys a lot of weed....

Once Again, Alex Rodriguez Didn't Mean That Thing He Said
Alex Rodriguez told Katie Couric he didn't use steroids. Then he told Peter Gammons that he did. He also told Gammons that Selena Roberts was stalking his family. Now... boy is his face red! (Ha!)...

The Rise And Fall Of The Indiana Hoosiers
The Indiana Hoosiers have never lost 18 games in a season; not even under the dubious Harry C. Good (1944-46), who was only there because Branch McCracken was serving in World War II....

Even The Weather Was Disappointed In The Daytona 500
With 48 laps left in the "Super Bowl of NASCAR," mighty Rangi, Sky Father who gives breath to the World, had seen enough. He brought down the thunder and put a stop to the Daytona 500....

Little Man Nate Exposes Superman's Weakness
Showmanship trumped awe-inspiration Saturday night, as 5'9 Nate Robinson's pogo-like leaping ability enabled him to win his second NBA dunk competition. SKEETS! ranked Robinson's "Krypto-Nate" as the best of the weekend....

Ballroom Dancing, Now With 90% More Crotch Exposure
So, here's what happens when you try to make your wife happy by watching something other than sports. Needless to say, it's NSFW....

The Slam Dunk Contest Live Blog, Where Everything's Between 9 And 10
Also, everything's worth two points and millionaire athletes break out an arsenal of props that would make Carrot Top blush. Sounds like fun!...

Jeff Reed Freaks Out On Paper Towel Machine, Convenience Store Workers
If this case of criminal mischief involved any other professional athlete, it would be moderately surprising. Alas, it's Pittsburgh Steelers' kicker Jeff Reed, whose behavior continues to baffle and amuse....

Michael Jordan Breaks Out His Best Robert Goulet Duds For NBA All-Star Weekend
Girlfriend Yvette Prieto just smiles, content to settle for the ass-palming comfort of this nice, rich black man who takes her to fancy parties. [The Big Lead via Bossip]...

Amar'e Stoudemire Can't Understand Why The Suns Want To Trade Him So Much
"You've never heard about any DUI's or any trouble at all since I've been in the league. I'm 100 percent professional and charismatic, and made sure my character stood as such.[TheSportingBlog]...

And The No. 1 College Sports Town In The Nation Is ...
Ann Arbor. Which narrowly beats out Palo Alto, home to quiet, bucolic Stanford University. [Forbes]...

Are Jewish Athletes Always Chosen First In Pick Up Games?
What do Linda Cohn, Dara Torres and Andre Tippett have in common? They're all new members of the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. Their mothers must be so proud. [Jewish Sports]...

The One With Jamal Anderson's Other (Alleged!) Bathroom Stall Activities
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Finally, A Positive Story About The New York Jets
Former Jet Larry Grantham nearly lost his Super Bowl ring when cancer brought him low, but thanks to some—what do you call them? Oh right—decent human beings, there's some hope left for this planet....

Shawn Marion Traded For Jermaine O'Neal
ESPN reports that the Raptors and Heat will exchange big men in a four-player deal. Poor Marion is being sent from Miami to Toronto, which is really going to cut into his beach time. [ESPN]...

In Which Our Ladies Deconstruct The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
Time once again for Waxing Off, the feature that was the first on the internet to mix mime and food. This week: The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition....