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The Return Of The Powerful Lip Fur, And Milton Bradley Is A Cub (Hide All Sharp Objects)
• No Way This Ends Badly. Cubs, Milton Bradley agree to sane, very thrifty three-year, $30 million deal, pending physical examination. Hopefully will not include psychological testing. [Chicago Tribune]...
![J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f17vy5xtnrhjpg.jpg)
J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere
This proves that J.C. Romero's hyper-excitement on the mound is not something manufactured just for his relief appearances....

Employee No. 8 Nabbed For Early Morning DUI
Antoine Walker had the good sense to keep his mouth shut while the policeman filled out the report. A fan of brilliant sunrises, he was pulled over at 5:39 a.m. [AP]...

Sir <i>Le</i> Bron And The Legend of Crab Dribble
Where the hell did LeBron James come up with his ridiculous "crab dribble" yarn to explain away his traveling call against the Wizards? He's quite a storyteller!...

SHOTY Title Game: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Baby Mangino
We have reached the SHOTY Final. It's probably the one we should have expected all along....

Peyton Manning Won't Be Twittering Anytime Soon
"It's not the right fit for Peyton, he's not that spontaneous. If Peyton did it he would plan it all out and make sure he did the best - he wouldn't have any typos." [NYT]...

The Boston Celtics Dynasty Has Collapsed
Everybody panic! The once dominant Celtic steam engine has gone completely off the rails and it's unclear if they'll be able to save their season after losing to... oh my... the New York Knicks?...

North Carolina Collapses In A Heap Of Its Own Intensity
So remember all that talk about the unstoppable Tar Heel juggernaut threatening to burn down college basketball arenas and take mascot heads as trophies on their way to a perfect basketball season. Yeah, never mind....

The End Of The Tony Dungy Era In Indy?
PFT has the chances of him retiring this year at 70%. [Pro Football Talk]...

It's Morning In America: Jay Mariotti Debuts At AOL Sports
Groggy, caffeine-deficient citizens got a jolt of 21st-century reality this morning as Jay Mariotti debuted at his new home, AOL Sports. Yes, he's no longer just Chicago's problem; Jay belongs to the world....

Philadelphia at Minnesota: A Playoff Game Of No Importance
No one here really cares about the outcome of this game, but feel free to comment your little hearts out during the 4:00 NFC Wild Card Game....

Baltimore at Miami: An NFL Playoff Murder Mystery
Consider this your open thread for the 1:00 p.m. AFC Wild Card Game....

Peyton Manning: Still A Choker?
For the sixth time in nine playoff appearances, Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts have been bounced from the playoffs in the first round....

Introducing The Big Dog In The Big East
You remember Pitt, the team that's always just good enough to screw up your NCAA tournament bracket. They're back again, today throttling Georgetown and its chulo del pañal, Greg Monroe, to go to 14-0....

Ladainian Tomlinson's Tattered Groin Paves Way For Large Helping Of Darren Sproles
LT's injury: "Detached tendon that connects the muscle to the pubic bone." I wonder if he damaged this punching refrigerators with Kimbo Slice in the offseason? [The Sporting Blog]...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
Each day ESPN scours its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comments. Here is one of those comments ......

Harrell Sets NCAA TD Record, But Ole Miss Leads Cotton Bowl
If you bet the under in the Cotton Bowl, our condolences. Ole Miss just hit a field goal to take a 24-21 lead into halftime....

The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Your NFL MVP: Laser Rocket Arm
Yep, Peyton Manning is your NFL MVP, joining Brett Favre as the only three-time winners. Party tonight at Lil' Ronnie's! [NBC Sports]...

Last Chance For SHOTY Final Four Voting
Welcome back, everybody. It's 2009. Crazy. Time to make your voice heard, while you can....