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SHOTY First Round: Mark Cuban Vs. Matt Leinart
It's the day after Thanksgiving! If you have any good sense, you're lying on the floor right now, surrounded by pieces of bird skin, dealing with a nog-throbbing brain and complete with a homicide-scene outline traced with pie crust. Congratulations on getting to this point. You've earned it. Now, ...

Why The Lions Belong On Thanksgiving
The Detroit Lions are (arguably, I know) the worst organization in sports. Their incompetence, from the owner to the fans, is legendary. Yet, tradition dictates that every year, just as families arrive at the homes of relatives they don't particularly care for in order to celebrate this giving of Th...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get the early jump on the crowds at Sears ... • College Basketball: Boston College Eagles vs. Purdue Boilermakers (7:00 p.m., ET) What's a Harvey Wallbanger? [ESPN2] • NBA: Orlando Magic at Philadelphia 76ers (7:30 p.m., ET) Get along, 76ers. [ESPN] • Movie: "The 40-Year-Old ...

After Abilene Christian's 93-Point Saturday Afternoon, Fans Ask What's Next?
Stuff you may not know about Div. 1-AA II Abilene Christian University: Their quarterback, Billy Don Madison Malone, was once the heir apparent to J.P. Losman at Tulane, and some says he's better. Wilbert Montgomery, who still holds the franchise rushing record for the Philadelphia Eagles, is a prou...

Programming Note: It's Turkey Jamboroo Day Tomorrow (And Ray's Doing the Carving)
Last year, we ran a Thanksgiving edition of the NFL Jamboroo the day before Thanksgiving. But we're gonna forgo that this year and run the Jamboroo early tomorrow morning. Why? Well, for one thing, there isn't fucking jack SHIT to do on Thanksgiving morning. You watch the parade for two minutes, yo...

Yeah, What Is That Smoke You're Blowing, Mr. Artest?
So, I completely missed this upon first viewing of Ron Artest's vlog post, but thanks to Pete Gaines, it was brought to my attention: Artest appears to be smoking...something. Maybe it's a cigarette. Maybe it's a napkin stuffed with pine needles. Maybe he's doing a dragon impersonation. Or, you know...

Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...

Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Facial Art and STD Addendums
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another - usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolut...

SHOTY First Round: Roger Clemens Vs. Vince Young
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and it's difficult to imagine much that would be more enjoyable than voting in the 2008 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. Like you're doing any work today anyway. In fact, you're probably not even in the office right now. Are you reading this from the fu...

Tuesday Night Live Blog: Western Michigan at #15 Ball State
Please accept the harmonious balance of David Letterman and Tim Allen's alma maters, respectively, to infiltrate your Tuesday night plans. The undefeated Ball State Cardinals welcome the 9-2 WMU Broncos, and the winner is in the MAC Championship game. Fun fact: It's not illegal to shout "jump" in a ...

The Creative Impasse Between Bill Simmons and ESPN Appears To Be Over
The rumor about Bill Simmons "quitting" his B.S. Report podcast on ESPN due to restrictive over-editing policies were apparently overblown, for today the B.S. Report has miraculously reappeared. The one noticeable change to it is the new pre-show disclaimer from the Sports Fella himself that states ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you forget about leading cops on that high speed pursuit ... • College Basketball: Texas Longhorns vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish (7:00 p.m. ET) They don't seem that "fighting" to me. [ESPN] • College Football: Western Michigan Broncos vs. Ball State Cardinals (7:00 p.m. ET) A win...

Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...

Myron Rolle, Gentleman (Rhodes) Scholar
I'm sure you've heard the tale of Florida State safety Myron Rolle, who won a Rhodes Scholarship on Saturday afternoon in Alabama, then flew to Maryland (on a plane, we assume) played in his team's game that night, then killed a wild boar with his bare hands and fed his entire squad with it at the p...

Gregg Doyel: Anger Is A Gift
There's something about CBSSport.com columnist Gregg Doyel that's very appealing, even though his combative nature and his odd mohawk stage would most often have him seated at the douchey table, he at least comes across as comfortable in his own Affliction T-shirt. Doyle has been on the wrong-end of...

Ted Williams' Daughter Likes To Paint, Has Issues
According to Leigh Montville’s book “Ted Williams: The Biography of an American Hero,” Williams was a distant father, who missed the births of son John Henry and daughter Claudia, the former for a fishing trip. His non-parenting of course caused no repercussions, as is seen in adult Claudia's happy,...

Young Allison Stokke Takes On Erin Andrewsness In An Epic Battle of Doability
With SHOTY in full swing, the results of In Game Now's "smoking hot pseudo athlete thing", and now the final round of The Big Picture's "Would you do..." Tournament of Champions, it's obviously online voting season for sports blogs. They are down to their final two contestants: The second seed, nubi...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you shop for toys that won't murder your children ... • College Basketball: Syracuse Orangemen vs. Florida Gators (7:30 p.m., ET) So much orange. [ESPN2] • NFL: Monday Night Football: Green Bay Packers vs. New Orleans Saints (8:30 p.m., ET). Open up a window and let in the Brees....

Rob Iracane Abdicates the Throne
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write wrote a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approveappro...

They Called Him Sugarfoot: Carl Joseph, The One-Legged Wonder
Well, if this story doesn't inspire you, you're a rather hopeless cynic. Take a look at this amazing video on the athletic career of one Carl Joseph, who has just been nominated for the Florida Sports Hall of Fame. Joseph, who grew up in poverty on a tobacco farm in north Florida, was born with only...