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To Watch Tonight
What to watch while going elsewhere for your underboob......

Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....

Sir Sidney Gives Up No Runs; Probably Ate Them All
Sidney Ponson made his unceremonious (only to Ponson, as ceremonious occasions usually have bacon gravy) return to the Yankees in the second half of a two-ballpark doubleheader yesterday with the cross-Gotham Mets. And he laid into them like they were an Aruban judge, tossing six shutout innings in ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Von Trapp children invade your dreams/say goodbye to Will ... • Arena football: Wild card playoffs, New York at Dallas (7:30 p.m., ET). I have Desperados Fever. (Help me) [ESPN] • Boxing: Super featherweights, Breidis Prescott vs. Juan Carlos Rodriguez, at Fort Lauderdale (10 p....

See You On Down That Road
I've never been one for tearful goodbyes. When I leave Deadspin, I want to go out the same way I came in; crawling through the ductwork. I was going to rob the place, and ended up staying for three years. Anyway, how do you say goodbye to a guy who took you in and gave you the only other key to the ...

Meet Your New Editor(s)
We were really hoping that, here on our last day, we'd have the opportunity to announce our successor at this here site. It is our pleasure - after quite a bit of back-and-forth and more qualified applicants that we could have possibly imagined - to say, yes, this here site is going to be in fine ha...

Our Conversation With Buzz Bissinger
For the last few months, since that rather festive "Costas Now" business, we have been loathe to expand much more on our initial reaction. But as Buzz Bissinger has continued to give interviews to the "respectable" media, making his "points," we felt compelled to talk one last time, to wrap this who...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work
Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfor...

Part XI: Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductee...Will Leitch
Well, that was fun, wasn't it? I'd like to thank ALL of our roasters for their contributions to today's festivities. I can't think of a better send-off for our man. I'd also like to thank the always brilliant Jim Cooke for designing the above plaque, at last granting Will Leitch permanent immortali...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Chris Hansen asks you to sit down so that he can write you a check ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Anthony Peterson vs. Fernando Trejo; super welterweights, Vanes Martirosyan vs. Angel Hernandez, in Las Vegas (9 p.m., ET). Hey, I was going to name my kid Vanes. [Versus] • 200...

Part V: Costas Now Redux
We continue today's roasting festivities with this utterly brilliant video from the one and only JE SKEETS, who today was granted a rare work release from his Yahoo! prison....

Part IV: Featuring America's Favorite Sports Fella...Bill Simmons
Part 4 of our celebration of all things Leitch begins with a very, very special guest. He just got finished celebrating the Celtics' 17th world title. I can't wait to see it mentioned 83 times in one of his NFL columns 30 years from now. It's Bill Simmons. It really is....

The All-Star Blogebrity Roast Of William F. Leitch!
Balls Deep by Drew Magary will not be appearing this week. In its place, we bring you this very special presentation....

Shawn Chacon's Guide To Punching Your Boss In The Face
You know what baseball needs more of? Physical fistfights between general managers and players. Imagine the fisticuffs that would ensue between Jon Daniels and Milton Bradley. Jim Bowden and Elijah Dukes. Heavens, Theo Epstein and David Ortiz. We might buy a pay-per-view of that....

To Watch Tonight
Irony, thy name is Pittsburgh ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Julio Diaz vs. David Torres, in Beverly Hills, Calif. (11 p.m., ET). No better place for this than the mean streets of The BH. [ESPN2] • College World Series: Championship series, Game 3, Georgia vs. Fresno State, in Omaha (7 p.m., ET). There...

SuperYid Youkilis Drubs The Hardly Punchless RedBirds
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

A Day Playing Catch With Charlie Brown
I've been a Peanuts fan pretty much my entire life, but it took the new Baseball as Allegory exhibit to finally drag my sorry butt out to the Charles M. Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa, Calif. I highly recommend the experience if you happen to be in the neighborhood, if for no other reason than to sit ...

J.P. Ricciardi Meets The Jerky Boys
OK, so, to bring you up to date:...