to Page 2017 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights



Whoa! I Can't Even Tell Them Apart!
Tyler Pratt — um, pictured left — sent a photo of himself in to some Patriots look-alike contest saying people tell him he looks like Tom Brady. Apparently, Tyler Pratt works in a cave ... with blind people ... who are horrible fuckin' liars....

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — NBA: Celtics at Magic [ABC] • 1:00 — College Basketball: Michigan at Michigan State [CBS] • 1:00 — Varsity Blues [TBS] • 2:00 — Winter X Games: Skiing, snowboarding [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Bowling: USBC Queens [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Caddyshack II [VS.] • 2:30 — Face/Off [USA] • 3:00 — Golf: PGA Tour Bui...

Skeets's Dad's Featured Comment Of The Day
J.E. Skeets called his father this morning to hear his clever, bold, always enlightening comments, and chose this one above all others to share with you ......


To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you bake a cake in the shape of the moon blowing up ... • College Basketball: Georgetown at West Virginia (7 p.m., ET). Does Roy Hibbert laugh that sweet, infectious giggle every time he scores? [ESPN] • NHL: Skills competition and YoungStars game (7 p.m., ET). Skate, you stupid ...

Skeets's Dad's Featured Comment Of The Day
J.E. Skeets called his father this morning to hear his clever, bold, always enlightening comments, and chose this one above all others to share with you ......

You Can't Stop Garnett, You Can Only Hope A Sniper's Shot Slows Him Down
The NBA Closer is written by me, J.E. Skeets, high leader of Canada. When I'm not busy scouring the box scores or part-time modeling, I can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast with some Greek. Enjoy!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wax on and wax off ... • NBA: Orlando at Detroit (7 p.m., ET). My NBA hunger must be fed ... with blood. [ESPN] • Tennis: Australian Open, at Melbourne, women's championship (9:30 p.m., ET). Maria Sharapova vs. Ana Ivanovic. This is a dream matchup ... in my pants! [ESPN2] • Ext...

You, Too, Can Invest In A 25-Year Old Pitcher
So here's a clever idea: A minor league baseball player, trying to essentially hedge bets on his career, is offering fans a share of his future salary. It kind of makes sense....

In Which I Introduce The Cleveland Browns To Two ESPN Sportscasters
Conversation going on at ESPN's Mike & Mike In the Morning (we're irreverent, look at all our bobbleheads!) this morning: Which is the greatest NFL dynasty of all time? The Mikes put their heads together and picked the 1970s Steelers, which is wrong. Like many, their memory doesn't extend to before ...

Ethan Albright, Finally Vindicated
Remember Ethan Albright? The Redskins long snapper who had the worst rating in all of Madden 2007 and was immortalized in The Phat Phree's famous mock letter to John Madden? Well, his rating won't be so low next year: He's going to the Pro Bowl....

Saying Goodbye To Mike Alstott
It might come as a surprise to some of you that Buccaneers "fullback" Mike Alstott has retired. The surprise, of course, is that he didn't retire years ago; we hadn't noticed him the last couple of years either....

Ideas For A More Enjoyable Super Bowl Week
Rarely do commenters on other sites even come close to the wit and wisdom of our own Deadspin Army of Darkness (sorry if that sounds like sucking up, but independent studies have proven this to be true). Occasionally, though, one catches my eye with a tape measure home run. Such was the case yesterd...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as video surfaces of Richard Seymour doing his Zidane impression ... • College basketball: Duke at Virginia Tech (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Seton Hall at Providence (7 p.m., ET); Michigan State at Northwestern (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; UCLA at Oregon (10:30 p.m., ET) [FSN]. Is there any team or ...

They Sure Do Follow Orders In Toronto
The National Post points out — starting at around the 4:45 mark of this video — that team president Richard Peddie is mouthing the exact words being said by new interim GM Cliff Fletcher while he says them. That's how you make sure you don't stray from the company line; that interim tag won't exist ...

Tony Romo Thinks He Can Do Better
Good news, fellows ... Jessica Simpson may soon be available. So for Heaven's sake start wearing collared shirts! (Preferably popped.) Word is that Tony Romo would like to dump her ... only she's not going easily. Hmm. Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction comes to mind here for some reason....

If Only Fox News Also Employed This Premise
The man seated on the right here is Tinker "Ty" Keck, former defensive back for the University of Cincinnati and the XFL Los Angeles Xtreme. He was the first contestant on the new game show The Moment of Truth, which debuted last night. It's an idea that somehow eluded George Mitchell but not the ex...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......