to Page 2020 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you maneuver Tank Chair into viewing position to watch ANYTHING YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Pittsburgh (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma at Kansas (9 p.m., ET); Gonzaga at Pepperdine (midnight, ET). Screw sleep; let's watch Pepperdine! [ESPN] • NHL: New York Ra...

Saying Goodbye To Scott Rolen
Even though the infighting between Scott Rolen and Tony LaRussa made the trade pretty much inevitable, we were still sad to see Scott Rolen traded to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus. We like Glaus, don't get us wrong; the guy's a better hitter, younger, has a more reasonable contract and isn't afraid t...

Dana Jacobson Has The Sole Appropriate Reaction To The Mike And Mike Roast
Last Friday night, they held that "Mike And Mike Celebrity Roast" thing in Atlantic City. It was about as entertaining as you'd expected it to be, according to the Press Of Atlantic City. (No offense to Trey Wingo, but when you host half the show, and the other half is hosted by Jeffrey Ross, you're...

Get A Job With ESPN Through The Comments
So you know how pretty much every page on ESPN.com has a "conversation" element anymore? (Except, of course, for Simmons' columns. But that's probably your/our/all-of-our fault. Sorry.) Well, that includes the ESPN Job Postings page, which leads to some awfully amusing comments....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Norv Turner Can Coach 'Em Up
You realize that if the Chargers had hired anyone other than this man — this guy — you realize that we'd be falling over ourselves to praise the guy. All the playoff troubles for the Chargers, and the new coach, in his first year, gets them to the AFC Championship Game despite injuries to Philip Ri...

The Lonesome Tony Romo
Tony Romo is taking all the heat today — it's gonna get to the point that he's going to want to stop wanting to even make the playoffs — but the Cowboys' collapse yesterday was a true team effort. Despite the rosy denials of Cowboys boosters, this was a devastating loss in every possible way. (Look...

About Last Night
What you missed while finally seeing "There Will Be Blood," which apparently is playing in only one theater at a time ... • NFL: Tony Romo free to return to Mexico ... Giants 21, Cowboys 17. Eli's Comin' ... • NBA: We have good news and bad news, Lakers' fans. Which do you want first? • College bask...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while having so many people to thank, wow, my incredible cast, I couldn't have done it without you, my director, my agent who believed in me when nobody else did, my parents, who always supported everything I've always done, the studio, oh my god I know I'm leaving someone out, and all...

Celtics Begin To Develop A Cellulite Problem
Know how supermodels stay thin? By being called fat at 110 pounds. It's the only way they'll learn. Judge them. Cut them down. You really want a thin slice of carrot cake? Because that dress you love doesn't come in fat cow size....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while the floor lamp watches you back, lovingly ... • 8:00 p.m. — NFL Playoffs: Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots. Josh Scobee won't be wearing heated pants, but hasn't ruled out pink boxers. [CBS] • 8:00 p.m. — C.O.P.S. They're not new, but what the hell difference does tha...

Todd Stottlemyre Seems Unhappy
The indispensable Fire Joe Morgan posted this audio-only YouTube video earlier this week featuring Stottlemyre, many years ago, sharing his insights as to why he lost his cool during a game, and I've listened to it about 20 times already. That number will only increase....

David Banks Is Significantly Worse At Long Division Than He Was A Day Ago
I'm trying hard to remember the hardest I was ever hit in the head. It might've been when I was three or four, and the kid down the street struck me right in the coconut with a croquet mallet. Even at an early age, I probably should have been aware that his wielding of a croquet mallet was unsafe...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while playing with your Mr. Potato Head ... • NBA: Miami at New Orleans (8 p.m., ET); Milwaukee at Los Angeles Lakers (10:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN]. Visit the famed French Quarter before the game. And there's one in New Orleans too, I hear. • Boxing: Super middleweights, Edison Miranda "Righ...

Your SHOTY Winner: Isiah Thomas
We would like to congratulate Isiah Thomas on his ascendence to the lofty perch of 2007 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year....

Strahan Would Totally Tap That
At first glance it's moral support from an unlikely source: Giants defensive end Michael Strahan says that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson should be given their space. Leave Romo alone! He's a human being! Etc., etc. But you and I know what the real deal is here. Hey Tony, if you ever get tired of her...

It's Hard Out There For A Billiken
To put Saint Louis University's loss to George Washington on Thursday into perspective, portly coach Rick Majerus himself could have played point guard for the Billikens, and it wouldn't have hurt. Final: GW 49, Saint Louis 20. That's the lowest total for an NCAA men's team since the shot clock was ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after more interactive fun with tigers ... • College basketball: West Virginia at Louisville (7 p.m., ET); Illinois at Wisconsin (9 p.m., ET); [ESPN]; Arkansas at Auburn (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. This young, scrappy Illini five just could win it all if they figure a way to tickle the nets ...

Divisional Playoff Cranium!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Boy's Mother Secures Lifetime Of Beatings
You might ask yourself: What is it, exactly, that the "Kentucky Commission on Human Rights" does? Do they make sure that the varmint menace is vanquished? Are they there to clear the way for Kige Ramsey's right to free speech? Nope: They make sure boys can be cheerleaders....