to Page 2062 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What ESPN DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR!
We still haven't watched the ESPYs from Sunday night, because, we dunno, it's the summer, and sometimes we like to pretend that the sun actually exists and will welcome us. From most accounts, though, the show was as tolerable as one could have hoped. We have no major issue with Jimmy Kimmel — not a...
ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...
A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...
Tommy Morrison Is A Deep Thinker
One would think "boxer" Tommy Morrison's constant claims that AIDS is "an invented virus" making money for the drug industry, and that "heterosexuals can't transmit the virus" would inspire people to stop taking him seriously and no longer listen to him. That hasn't worked, but maybe his new enlight...
Please Do Not Run Over The Man In The Enormous Thong
If you think the Tour de France is boring, well, you're obviously missing the regular appearances from Borat. We hear they're making a new version of "American Gladiators." We're going to have to insist they all wear this swimsuit....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wish that Michael would row that damn boat ashore already ... • MLB: San Francisco at Chicago Cubs. Why not meet at Cubby Bear and watch the game on TV? [ESPN] • Women's softball: World Cup, championship game, at Okla. City. Why is Oklahoma City our softball headquarters? [ESPN2...
Joe Torre, Suddenly Racist
So, everybody, is Joe Torre a racist? You certainly might have thought so watching the Sunday night game last evening....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while you wait for Jemaine, Bret and Murray ... • Awards: ESPYS. $10 says Tomlinson wins four trophies. [ESPN] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 8. Amazing asphalt on this leg. [Versus] • Movie: Rocky V. Oh, it happened it, Bill. It. Happened. [ESPN Classic]...
Lefty Loses The Scottish Open In Style
I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff....
Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while you carve soap ... • Welterweight Boxing: Gatti vs. Gomez, Cintron vs. Matthysse and Margarito vs. Williams. Unsilent Majority highly recommends this. [HBO] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 7. From Bourg-en-Bresse to Le Grand-Bornand and back. OK, not back. [Versus] • TNA Wrestli...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your cat demands an iPod ... • Golf: American Century Championship, first round, at Lake Tahoe, Nev. At least Berman's not here. [ESPN2] • MLB: Pittsburgh at Atlanta. A more compelling matchup you'd be hard to find. [TBS] • Softball: KFC World Cup of Softball, round robin, USA vs. C...
You Could Be Rich Garces' BFF
You want a gift that keeps on giving? The Boston Globe is currently running what might be the greatest contest since "Whack J.D. Drew Day."...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch following a long afternoon of cleaning up after Brett Favre • Major League Lacrosse: Philadelphia at New Jersey. Don't deny it; you know you are ALL OVER THIS. [ESPN2] • Soccer: MLS, Houston at Chicago. Our nipples explode with delight. [ESPN2] • Women's softball: World Cup, round robi...
Your Feeble Kicks Have No Effect On ... DOH!
It's an idea whose time has come; NBA players as European soccer goalies. Perhaps the Celtics' Paul Pierce is not the one to blaze this particular trail, however; as he looks here less like a keeper and more like a captured tuna....
Chandler In Tahoe: The Kevin Costner Photo That Almost Wasn't
Not that this picture is enormously compelling or anything, but since it didn't show up in yesterday's post, I figured I'd try to work out the bugs and give it another shot. Too bad Mr. Costner didn't try the same thing with The Postman....