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Barry Zito's Suddenly A Zesty Italian!
In response to our light tapping of Alex Rodriguez for playing for the Dominican Republic in the upcoming World Baseball Classic, reader Gerald Smith emails us to set us straight:...
Kornheiser To Klosterman: Come Get Some!
It's always funny when writers fight — imagine fourth grade girls, except with more slapping — and it's even funnier when both writers take paychecks from ESPN. Unfortunately, as much as we might like to make this little tidbit into a fight, it's mostly just an old guy with a microphone tossing pe...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize you are a ping pong ball in the bingo hopper of life ... • College Basketball: DePaul at Wake Forest. Battle for the throne of evil: Blue Demons vs. Demon Deacons. [ESPN] • NHL: Pittsburgh at St. Louis. Fun, fun, fun in the Savvis Center. [OLN] • NBA: Atlanta Hawks at Cl...
Leftovers: Days of Tiny Glory
• Tony Stewart's strange midget racing addiction. [I Like Racing] • Catch Me If You Can: Montgomery banned two years for doping. [Smart Guys Sports] • Obviously desperate Texans hire Dan Reeves as consultant. [Sporting Fools] • Who's on first? I don't know ... third base! Yankees want Nomar play to ...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Skip Bayless
We've been doing this feature for a while now, but this is the first time we've dressed in a tux to write it. Featuring Skip Bayless on Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks is like having a play open on Broadway. Which play? Springtime For Hitler comes to mind — a subject so rancid, it can't help but...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to grow yourself a Stan Van Gundy stache... • Monday Night Football: New Orleans at Atlanta. We love MNF in the worst way, and it appears that, this week, that's how we're getting it. [ABC] • NHL: Flightless Sea Fowl at Red Wings. We're into our second week of Super Mario ...
Leftovers: Welcome Back, Roger?
• Yankees, Red Sox contact Clemens. Mass reports of NYT bestselling authors regurgitating but not releasing the vomit out their oral cavity. [Over The Monster] • Giants-Jets Stadium ... $1 billion and counting. [CBS 880] • Morris from Cards to Giants. Woo hoo! Wait, is that a good thing? [Baseball I...
Athlete Run-In: Helping Clinton Portis Score
Today's final athlete run-in story is right up our alley, because it's about your friend and ours ... Clinton Portis! It's from Jay in Virginia:...
That's A Quarter Per Sweat Dollop
Far be it from us to tell collectors what is valuable and what isn't — we wouldn't trade our Willie McGee 1987 Topps card for the Shroud of Turin — but we have to say, we're pretty surprised by one of the top items on MLB.com right now....
Athlete Run-In: Bill Wennington Should Duck Better
Today's first athlete run-in story involves a member of those famed late '90s Chicago Bulls juggernauts ... Bill Wennington! OK, maybe he's no Scottie Pippen, but hey, anything about that team that doesn't involve Jordan or Rodman gets us fired up. From Chris in Dallas:...
NFL Roundup: "I Disagree With Your Decision And Shall Protest Thusly"
• It's funny, because if you remember when Guenther Cunningham actually coached the Chiefs, you'd understand that here, he's just giving his unique signal to go for two. • It's like the Chargers suddenly remembered that Marty Schottenheimer's their coach. • Anybody see the new ESPN magazine? (Anyb...
To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. Detroit @ LA Clippers. Because it will be nice for Rip Hamilton to go up against Sam Cassell. He so rarely gets to see people uglier than he is. • College basketball. Boston College @ Maryland. Battles between Eagles and Turtles are just so unpredictable. • NFL. Detroit @ Green Bay. Actually,...
Colts Prepare For A Month Of Boredom
With their 26-18 win in Jacksonville, and Tony Dungy's stated preference to not actively pursue the '72 Dolphins undefeated mark, Peyton Manning and Edgerrin James have about a month to do whatever they please....
To Watch Tonight...
• Heisman Trophy Presentation. There's not likely to be any entertainment value here, of course, but you might want to catch a few more Codebreakers promos. • College Basketball. Illinois @ Oregon. Because if you don't watch, you'll probably hurt Will's feelings. • Ice Wars: Battle of the Sexes. I'd...
Birds get their claws back
CAW. CAW. Or, you know, whatever kind of a frightening noise a cardinal might make......
To Watch Tonight
"You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even think like the tube. This is mass madness, you maniacs." • College Football: Division I-AA tournament, semifinal, Northern Iowa at Texas State. USC? Notre Dame? Who are they? Panthers vs. Bobcats in San ...
Leftovers: Big People Doing Things
• Shaq sworn in as cop. Great idea — what could possibly go wrong? [WKYT] • Bears fined $50,000 each for fight, also must put several quarters in swear jar. [CBS Sportsline] • Big Hurt heading for Oakland? (That's not a seasonal prediction; we're referring to Frank Thomas). [Chicagoist] • Soriano sa...
Bro Sweets Will Juice You Up
Clinton Portis was back yesterday with yet another fractured segment of his personality, this one somewhat sweeter than the past ones, literally even. We proudly introduce "Bro Sweets," Clinton's most recent tortured mental sliver....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you and the sofa become one ... • College Football: Home Depot Awards Show. The Maxwell and Bednarik Awards will be handed out, and if dropped and broken, will be quickly repaired. [ESPN] • College Basketball: Georgetown at Illinois [ESPN]; Massachusetts at Connecticut. Time for non...
Leftovers: NBA Fashion Edition
• NBA Union files grievance over fines for length of players' shorts. This will end up in the Supreme Court, we're sure. [ESPN] • Gene Keady to coach Toronto Raptors. His combover will stay in retirement, however. [Purdue Exponent] • You are snubbed once again — Bush, Leinart, Young named as Heisman...