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We Have A Wet Bag Problem, And We're Going To Look Into It
There is nothing funny about lower-body injuries in baseball. Upper body injuries, sure—a “strained oblique” sounds just vague enough to get an eye-roll, and Mets-scented mystery injuries like the Out With An Entire Left Side Of Body ailment that sidelined prized Mets free agent Jed Lowrie for virtu...

Report: Barcelona Ascend To A Higher Plane Of Pettiness, Will Appeal €300 Fine For Antoine Griezmann Transfer
The dumbest transfer saga of the summer just got even dumber. After Barcelona activated Antoine Griezmann’s €120 million release clause, the striker’s old club, Atlético Madrid, filed a complaint with the Spanish soccer federation (RFEF), claiming that the Catalan giants had negotiated with Griezman...

Athlete Yearns For Return To Warm, Encouraging Embrace Of Philadelphia Sports Fans
In a sign that the universe still has a couple utterly unprecedented tricks hidden up its sleeves, an athlete announced Wednesday that he is eager to be back among Philadelphia sports fans because of how appreciative and encouraging they are, as a group, relative to another set of sports fans....

Stop Calling It "Gaslighting"
“Lie” is a great word. It’s a short, to-the-point noun with a universally agreed upon meaning that we all learn before we even enter kindergarten. Call someone a liar, and any English-speaker in the world will require no clarification—they’ll know that someone isn’t telling the truth....

John Harbaugh Is Doing Everything Right
There’s still a lot of season left, granted, but Ravens fans should be pleased with the way head coach John Harbaugh has been running things through three games. Baltimore has built an offense that seems perfectly suited to quarterback Lamar Jackson’s many gifts, and Harbaugh has shown an in-game ag...

Liz Cambage Talked Trash To The Washington Mystics And They Gave It Right Back To Her
After dropping 28 points in a dominant Game 3 semifinals win, Las Vegas Aces center Liz Cambage flexed on her opponents, saying in her postgame interview, “If they can’t handle it, get in the weight room or get out of the post.” The Washington Mystics heeded her advice. ...

College Soccer Player Rips Game-Winning Indirect Free Kick Over The Heads Of All 11 Opponents
Deadspin is on the record about our belief that indirect free kicks rule, and the rocket blast that gave Creighton an overtime victory over Tulsa on Tuesday was a perfect example of why we so love these kinds of goals:...

Welcome To The Tomsula Index
For my money, there’s no better exercise during the NFL season than to look at the bottom of the standings in order to wonder, Would Jim Tomsula, right now, be better than that team’s head coach? ...

Gerrit Cole Is A Pitcher For Our Times
Much has been made of the ways in which the juiced ball and hitters valuing power over contact has mutated MLB offenses, but the game’s drastic evolution has effects all over the field. In fact, part of the reason why so many guys go up to the plate only swinging for the fences now is that they incr...

Find Something You Can Enjoy As Much As Brian Dozier Enjoys Twerking While Soaked In Budweiser
The Nationals clinched a National League Wild Card berth Tuesday, via a doubleheader sweep of the Phillies. It’s not exactly a towering accomplishment—it earns them one do-or-die game and nothing more—but it’s worth remembering that the Nationals were at one point 19–31 on the season and looking tot...

Even In Defeat, Bryce Harper Owns The Hell Out Of Hunter Strickland
A funny moment occurred in the seventh inning of Tuesday night’s game between the Washington Nationals and the Philadelphia Phillies. Bryce Harper, pinch-hitting in the night game after starting the first leg of today’s doubleheader, came to the plate to face Nationals reliever and personal nemesis ...

Maple Leafs' Auston Matthews Charged With Disorderly Conduct Over Late-Night Mooning Incident
Auston Matthews, Toronto’s 22-year-old center, has a pretrial conference scheduled for Wednesday morning in Scottsdale, Arizona, related to a strange incident alleged to have taken place in a condominium complex at 2 a.m. back in May. Matthews, who may have been intoxicated at the time, is accused o...

Milwaukee Bucks Fined For Observing That Reigning MVP, Whom They Employ, Will Be Offered Lots Of Money Next Summer
The possibility that the NBA’s dumb new tampering rules would be enforced in the dumbest possible fashion has quickly come to fruition. Per a league press release today, the Milwaukee Bucks have been fined $50,000 for “violating league rules governing the timing of discussions regarding future playe...

The Lost Legend And Secret Legacy Of Table Tennis Master Rong Guotuan
This is an excerpt from Eric Nusbaum’s new weekly Substack newsletter Sports Stories, where he’ll be writing about sports, history, and sports history. He hopes you will subscribe here, and share these stories with your friends, families, and table tennis practice partners. The version of this in t...

NFL Rules Are Just Suggestions
Tom Brady was watching Titans-Jaguars Thursday night and, like every other person with functional eyes, did not enjoy the experience. Only he overcame his revulsion and fear of being found out, tweeting about it and saying all the holding penalties were ruining his fun....
![Here's A Lovely Newspaper Photo Goof [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mqlnv1zidhfmljm2lold.jpg)
Here's A Lovely Newspaper Photo Goof [Update]
Look closely at this past Saturday’s sports page of the Washington County (Penn.) Observer-Reporter. There’s something off about that photo accompanying a recap of the game between between Peters Township and North Hills. ...

The Skins Are Delaying The Inevitable
Case Keenum declared that Washington’s dead-on-arrival loss to the Bears Monday night was “all on me.” That is absolutely false. Any truly great or truly awful team is just that, a team effort— it requires 53 men, plus coaches and front office and even ownership. And the Skins are a unicorn turd of ...

Heartbreaking: Dan Snyder Won't Buy This Man A Spoon
In what is absolutely not a metaphor for Jay Gruden’s coaching and [gestures vaguely at Washington’s routine ascendance to new frontiers of dysfunction], the Monday Night Football broadcast caught a team employee on Washington’s sideline stirring a cooler full of Gatorade with what appears to be a p...

Of Course The Skins Misspelled London Fletcher's Name During His Ring Of Honor Ceremony
Dan Snyder’s football clown show spent halftime of their Monday night meltdown loss inducting retired linebacker London Fletcher into the Ring of Honor of their miserable, far-flung hell-hole of a stadium. Fletcher spent less than half of his career in Washington and won zero playoff games, but wha...

You Will Never Unsee Morgan Moses's Hasty Right Leg
I do not advise tuning in for the Monday night matchup between Washington and the Bears for any reason. Those deranged enough to watch this horror show have seen the Bears pound the bejeezus out of the home team in every phase, starting with a first-quarter pick-six to open the scoring. The especia...