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Gory Days: Tell Us Your Most Embarrassing Sports Moment
Good day, readers. It’s the Friday before Labor Day, and if you haven’t yet completely checked out from work for the long weekend, you have my permission to do so as soon as you finish reading this blog. I’ve already cleared it with your boss, so no worries. Also, this blog needs your help....
Taylor Townsend Owned The Net And Worked Over Simona Halep
23-year-old American Taylor Townsend dropped the first set of her second-round match with reigning Wimbledon champ and No. 4 Simona Halep Thursday, looking sloppy and flustered and easily pushed around. Undeterred, Townsend roared back for a dominant second set and outlasted Halep in a tense third-s...
Eric Cantona Gives Instantly Iconic, Batshit Insane Speech At UEFA Award Show
“As flies to wanton boys, we are for the gods. They kill us for sport,” was how soccer legend Eric Cantona, quoting Shakespeare, began his wholly and fittingly insane acceptance speech after being handed the UEFA President’s Award today. And it only got weirder from there:...
Andrew Luck And The Art Of The Abrupt Exit
I’m not saying that you don’t want to get a text message from Drew Magary on a Saturday night. For one thing it’s easily the quietest way to interact with him, and it’s also a good source of breaking news if you are avoiding your computer at a time when a prominent NFL quarterback abruptly plays the...
What's Going On With Jadeveon Clowney?
Jadeveon Clowney is still not under contract, owing to his refusal to sign the franchise tender offered by the Texans, who were unable to sign him to a long-term contract by the tag’s July 15 deadline. But it’s nonetheless been a busy few days for Clowney, who:...
Venus Williams Stares, Smiles Into Void During Hilarious U.S. Open Presser
While most of Wednesday’s U.S. Open slate was rained out, unseeded Venus Williams still battled No. 5 seed Elina Svitolina under the roof on Louis Armstrong. The centerpiece was a Williams service game at 5-3 in the second that spanned 15 minutes, eight deuces, five match point saves, and several i...
The Legendary Public Rec Center In A Private School's Pocket
Every now and then comes a reminder that The System works precisely as everybody suspects it does and wishes it didn’t. The situation now roiling the youth sports scene in the Nation’s Capital is one of those. The D.C. government recently agreed to let the Maret School, one of the more elite private...
Shaq Makes Sleazy Low-Ball Reverse Pitch For Cheap Content For New TNT Show
Shaq, that lovable character you can’t get enough of in his capacity as the grumbling grouch on TNT’s NBA studio coverage, apparently has a new docuseries—a fancy word that means “reality television show”— coming up on TNT. The show, apparently already hard-up for content, is hoping to put together ...
Bolton Wanderers' Sale Goes Through, Saving The Club From Ruin
On the same day that Bury were officially expelled from the English Football League, Bolton Wanderers have narrowly avoided a similar fate. The club announced on Wednesday that it had been sold to Football Ventures (White) Limited, and thus will avoid expulsion:...
Bury Have Been Kicked Out Of The English Football League After 125 Years
The deadline came and went, and now one of England’s oldest soccer clubs has been kicked out of the English Football League. Bury had been on the ropes financially for the majority of this year, and with neither a sale nor a proof of financial stability coming through before Tuesday’s 5 p.m. deadli...
No Matter How Good You Are, The Washington Mystics Will Be Better
The Los Angeles Sparks, to be sure, are no scrubs. They’re sitting near the top of the WNBA standings, with a future Hall of Famer in Candace Parker, All-Star forwards in the Ogwumike sisters, and one of the league’s greatest perimeter threats in Chelsea Gray. Alas, none of it was enough to prevent ...
Antonio Brown Tells Ben Roethlisberger To "Shut Up Already" About Their Non-Existent Friendship
Ben Roethlisberger, churlish in his old age, dissected Antonio Brown’s route-running last December for an entire local radio audience to hear. Brown didn’t take it personally......
Rob Gronkowski Says He Couldn't Sleep For Weeks After A Fairly Routine Hit In The Super Bowl
Reformed footballer Rob Gronkowski showed up at an event in New York City today to push some CBD product. Since the NFL world has been engrossed by the abrupt retirement of Colts quarterback Andrew Luck, Gronkowski brought up an injury he had suffered in this past season’s Super Bowl to illustrate a...
Keon Broxton Earns Ejection With Badass Long-Distance No-Look Glove Slap
I prefer to live in a world where the action that got Keon Broxton ejected from Monday night’s Yankees-Mariners game was 100 percent intentional. What’s more, I prefer to live in a world where Broxton becomes the Homer Simpson of the no-look glove-slap, and goes around flinging gloves across the fac...
My Husband Is Dying Every Day
Ron Fellows played cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys and Los Angeles Raiders from 1981–1988. He intercepted 19 passes and scored three touchdowns, including two on interception returns. Now 61 years old and living in Sacramento, Calif., Fellows suffers from Alzheimer’s, and his cognition is graduall...
The Reason Justin Verlander Had A Reporter Barred From The Club House Is So Dumb
It seems we finally have an explanation for why Astros pitcher Justin Verlander insisted on having Detroit Free Press reporter Anthony Fenech blocked from entering the Astros’ club house after a game last week. You probably won’t be able to guess where this is going....
Someone Please Tell Me How The Hell Stephen Piscotty Made This Catch
Oakland A’s left fielder Stephen Piscotty was briefly in a bad situation on Saturday. While trying to track a Buster Posey liner that was hit in his direction, Piscotty ended up looking directly at the sun, which caused him to lose track of the rapidly descending ball. In a futile attempt to prevent...
Video Shows Mateen Cleaves's Accuser Struggling To Flee His Motel Room
Former Michigan State men’s basketball player Mateen Cleaves was acquitted on Tuesday of four sexual assault charges stemming from an incident with a 24-year-old woman in September of 2015. Video of the incident that was shown in the courtroom has since been released because of a public records requ...
The NBA Tries To Make Its Luke Walton Problem Go Away
It’s Friday afternoon, that time when every American sports league dumps the news it would rather you not see. Today, that meant the NBA announced the results of the league’s investigation into sexual assault allegations against Sacramento Kings coach Luke Walton. ...
Never Forget That Fernando Torres Was A Force Of Nature Before He Was A Meme
It has been a while since Fernando Torres was something other than a melancholic presence on the soccer field. The man nicknamed El Niño—who played for Atlético Madrid, Liverpool, Chelsea, AC Milan, and Atlético again before retiring on Thursday at Japanese club Sagan Tosu—saw the arc of his career ...