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Let's Remember Some Guys: They Enlarged Greg Minton's Teeth
There is something about a mustache that disorients a person. It is a grooming decision first and foremost, but also and in a broader sense it is a choice. Growing a bunch of hair on your upper lip and then getting like marinara sauce and old bits of cake in it is, at bottom, a decision that you mak...
Don't Do It, Nets!
NBA free-agency opens on July 1, and if the rumors and anonymous reports are to be believed, at least one big star already has his destination picked out: Kyrie Irving, on his way out of Boston, has his eyes on the Brooklyn Nets. For the Nets, signing Irving—particularly if it’s done with an eye tow...
James Harden Gave The NBA Too Much Of What It Wanted
What happened to James Harden and the Houston Rockets? This time last year, Harden was receiving his coronation as the league’s MVP and the Rockets were seen as the only real challengers to the Warriors’ dynasty, which they very nearly ended through an almost religious adherence to what we’ve devoti...
Marcus Stroman May As Well Have Worn A "Please Trade For Me!" Sign Into Yankee Stadium
Two things that we know for sure are that the New York Yankees are going to acquire some starting pitching before this year’s trade deadline, and that the Toronto Blue Jays are big-time ass. The Blue Jays are also in possession of 28-year-old starter Marcus Stroman, who, along with everyone else, s...
Public Service Announcement: Please Stop Interrupting Dodgers Games To Hug Cody Bellinger
In the bottom of the eighth inning Monday night in Arizona, a young woman ran from the stands and into right field, where she appeared to awkwardly hug Dodgers superstar Cody Bellinger. Needless to say, this ended with the young woman being arrested....
Giannis Antetokounmpo Is Your 2018–19 NBA Most Valuable Player
Monday night Milwaukee Bucks destroyer of worlds Giannis Antetokounmpo became the first European import to win the NBA Most Valuable Player award since Dirk Nowitzki in 2007, and the first NBA player ever to win MVP after having won the NBA’s Most Improved Player, which Giannis won after the 2016–17...
Former Kings Executive Sentenced To Seven Years In Prison For Repurposing $13.4 Million Of Sponsorship Loot
Former Sacramento Kings and Miami Heat chief revenue officer Jeffrey David was sentenced to seven years in prison Monday for embezzling $13.4 million from two Kings sponsors in an arena naming rights scheme he executed in 2015. David pleaded guilty to wire fraud and aggravated identity theft charges...
Cardinals Flamethrower Jordan Hicks Shredded His Pitching Elbow
In some MLB injury news that felt as sadly inevitable as it is disappointing, St. Louis Cardinals closer Jordan Hicks is likely out for the long-term future, as the team announced today that he tore the UCL in his right (throwing) elbow. The Cardinals said they are “determining the next course of ac...
How Much Money Would It Take For You To Give Cam Newton Your Seat On A Flight?
This weekend, Carolina Panthers QB Cam Newton was filmed as he tried and failed to negotiate with a fellow traveler for a more comfortable seat on a flight from Paris to the United States. The 6-foot-5 NFL player had no choice but to go back to his standard, uncomfortable seat....
MMA Fighter Penalized For Kicking Opponent In The Butthole Area
MMA rules allow fighters to use a rather comprehensive suite of techniques to knock out or choke their opponents into submission, but even in a sport this brutal, some parts of the body are off limits. I’m talking, of course, about the butthole area....
Adam Eaton: Actually, The Financial Struggles Of Minor League Players Are A Good Thing
Kelyn Soong of Washington City Paper recently covered the lives of a couple players on the Nationals’ Triple-A affiliate: the Potomac Nationals. The story focuses on the financial difficulties that minor league ball players face while trying to chase their dreams of making it in MLB. It’s a not-so-f...
The Nationals Have Finally Freed Themselves From The Curse Of Trevor Rosenthal
If you listen closely with your ear towards a swamp-like city near the mid-Atlantic, you’ll be able to hear the faint sounds of mild optimism returning to the minds and spirits of the dozens of Nationals fans in the DC-metro area. The reason for this is because of Washington finally getting rid of t...
Wilkin Castillo's First MLB Hit In Over A Decade Was A Go-Ahead RBI Double
For the first time in over 10 years, 35-year-old Wilkin Castillo got a hit in the majors, and it was a pretty sweet one at that. In the top of seventh with two outs against the Phillies, Castillo smoked an RBI double into right field that sent two runners home and gave the Marlins a lead they wouldn...
Todd Frazier Upset He Hit Home Run Instead Of Deep Fly-Out
The Mets have been having an off day in the sense that they’re actually on the winning side of an embarrassing rout for once. Of course, such breaks in normalcy are bound to happen when the weather is on your side. Such was the case in the top of the third when Todd Frazier from Toms River, N.J. was...
Lisa Byington And Cat Whitehill Bust Out Lazy Tropes About African Teams For Their Germany-Nigeria Commentary
Commentating on live sports for a national television audience can be a herculean task, but it’s a lot easier if you decide to rely on tired racial stereotypes to fill the dead air—as Fox’s Lisa Byington and Cat Whitehill discovered on Saturday....
P.K. Subban Traded To The Devils
Holy shit, a big-name hockey trade!...
Is This Kyrie Irving Scolding Celtics Fans Under An Alias On Boston Talk Radio?
Thursday morning a man going by the name of Mikey in Waltham called in to the Zolak & Bertrand radio show on 98.5 The Sports Hub in Boston to participate in a wide-ranging conversation about the state of the Boston Celtics. It’s been a rough time for Celtics fans—their team disappointed last season,...
Verizon Media Group CEO Praises Yahoo Sports' Important Coverage, Like This Syndicated Wire Story
Verizon Media Group CEO K. Guru Gowrappan began his memo to staff today by praising Yahoo Sports for writing a story on the theme of the Women’s World Cup: equity. It was a nice thought, but Yahoo Sports didn’t even write that story....
KawhiWatch: Kawhi Leonard Enjoys Baseball Game, Proving He'll Stay In Toronto
Kawhi Leonard is the prize of this summer’s NBA free agency bonanza, and the reigning Finals MVP will be courted by a bevy of teams starting July 1, all of whom will do all they can to prostrate themselves as his feet. When we checked in with Leonard yesterday, he was making a run on cardboard boxe...
Jordan Bone's Draft Party Went From Tragic To Joyful In A Flash
As this video of undrafted Fred VanVleet that made the rounds last night showed, there are at least some NBA draft parties that fizzle out before anyone can enjoy the ecstatic release they all came for, and it looked like Tennessee standout Jordan Bone’s party was headed that way as the draft wound ...