to Page 778 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cardinals’ hacking scandal has finally paid off for the Houston Astros. Corbin Martin, who was selected 56th overall in 2017 with the top pick that MLB made St. Louis hand over as punishment, started on the mound for Houston on Sunday for his Major League debut. Martin had 9 Ks, 1 BB and 2 ER th...

Which Humiliating Rockets Elimination Loss Was Worse?

For the second year in a row, the Houston Rockets’ efforts to try and defeat the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs came up just short. Normally, a postseason loss to the greatest team of this generation wouldn’t mean much more than “the significantly better team won four games before we did.” Ye...

Losing-Ass Rockets, At Long Last, Please Remove Yourselves To The Fraud Bin Immediately

I’m sure most Rockets fans are lovely people. The Rockets have a fine basketball organization, as creative and nimble and determined as any in the NBA. And James Harden genuinely is one of the most unstoppable offensive players in modern basketball history. Now. Can that team please get all the way ...

Spider-Man Interrupts Basketball Game, Runs Around And Crashes Into People Like A Dork

The PBA Philippine Cup Finals are happening this week in Quezon City, Philippines, and Game 5 of the championship series between Magnolia and San Miguel was briefly interrupted by an uncoordinated man in a Spider-Man getup. ...

An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants

Alex is a 43-year-old San Franciscan who works in the financial sector. He also eagerly eats uneaten and untouched leftover food off of plates if he spots it out in the open at a public dining establishment, even if it’s off a stranger’s plate. He forages in an urban setting, you might say. I called...

Ben Simmons Finally Showed Up

After four straight games of curious anonymity, Ben Simmons finally arrived—and just in time, as the Sixers desperately needed their Aussie weirdo to make like Joel Embiid’s ass and stop spewing diarrhea everywhere. Thanks to Simmons’s 21 points and bevy of rebounds and assists, Philadelphia lived t...

Josh Reddick Rips A Go-Ahead Three-Run Jack Back From The Land Of Dingers

This insane Josh Reddick catch may not have quite the stakes of Jackie Bradley Jr.’s latest ridiculous highlight, but there was plenty on the line, and anyway the catch is molto buono, my friends. Molto, molto buono. You can’t see this, but I am doing the chef’s kiss as I watch it:...

Joel Embiid Emerges From Fog Of Illness, Leads 76ers To Game 6 Win

Joel Embiid didn’t put up the hugest numbers in Thursday night’s Game 6, but if anything his pedestrian production underscores just how dominant Embiid can be when he’s not pooping out and coughing up various vital internal organs. Thursday night he was feeling good, and as a consequence the 76ers ...

<i>Boston Globe </i>Drops Out Of The Legal Fight For The Robert Kraft Video [Update]

The Boston Globe—hometown newspaper to billionaire Robert Kraft and the NFL team he owns—is no longer among the media outlets intervening in the criminal case against him. Kraft faces two counts of misdemeanor solicitation after he was one of two dozen men charged in a Jupiter, Florida, police inves...

Kevin Durant's Achilles Seems To Be Intact, But The Warriors Have To Beat The Rockets Without Him

The good news for Warriors fans: An MRI this afternoon confirmed that Kevin Durant’s scary-looking non-contact injury Wednesday night was actually a right calf strain. The last time Durant strained his calf, he was only out for a week, which means he could return in the playoffs and should be health...

The Vile Celtics Are Dead And I'm So Happy

It was going to be so bad, man....

Chilean Goalkeeper Boner Proves You Should Never Tempt The Laws Of Physics

Goalkeeper boners come in all shapes, sizes, and crookedness, but sometimes, you just can’t compete with physics, as Club Deportivo Palestino goalie José Ignacio González found out on Tuesday night....

Goateed Doofus Aubrey Huff Whines About Athletes Sharing Political Opinions, Shares Political Opinions

Aubrey Huff, former baseball player and current man who could not possibly be more “divorced but doing great,” seems to be making a post-career pivot into the “angrily recording political rants from unflattering angles” school of punditry. He’s previously raved on Twitter about how Trump is great an...

Paul Pierce Has Spent The Last Day Rotating Over The Flame Like A Rotisserie Chicken

Paul Pierce played his last NBA minute over two years ago. His absence made no hearts grow fonder. Last night, while the Bucks drained the last drops of blood out of the Celtics’ season, Milwaukee’s arena lit up with a “Paul Pierce sucks” chant....

Boston Radio Host Hangs Up On Carolina Hurricanes Reporter Because Of His Southern Accent

To preview the upcoming Carolina Hurricanes–Boston Bruins playoff series, Boston sports radio show Toucher & Rich had Chip Alexander, Canes beat writer for the Raleigh News and Observer, call in Wednesday to talk hockey. It wasn’t long before one of the hosts hung up on him, for a very petty reason....

These Lads Were Proper Chuffed By Tottenham's Incredible Champions League Victory

We’re all aware of what a thrilling, last-second, game-winning touchdown can do American football fans, but I submit that nothing can make a sports fan lose his or her mind quite like a stoppage-time winner in soccer. It’s such a rare thing, such an unexpected thing—you dare not even hope for it!—th...

Barcelona's Loss To Liverpool Was No One's And Everyone's Fault

It’s the how that really stings. That Barcelona, a very good team that nonetheless suffers from several glaring deficiencies, lost in the Champions League semifinals to Liverpool, one of only two truly great teams in Europe this season and probably the one best equipped to solve the particular probl...

Warriors Dodge A Whole Hailstorm Of Bullets, Hold Off Rockets In Game 5

The Warriors found themselves in a real hairy spot Wednesday night, in the second half of Game 5 of their conference semifinal series against the Houston Rockets. The Rockets were surging even before Kevin Durant went down with a lower leg injury, erasing Golden State’s early lead and drawing to wit...

Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Latest Insane Feat Is Robbing A Walk-Off Dong

Wednesday’s Red Sox-Orioles game was much more eventful than you might expect from a game featuring a Red Sox team climbing back from a rotten start and, well, the Orioles, who are trash. Chris Sale took a no-hitter into the sixth inning; later, after losing the no-no, Sale took out his frustration ...

Tim Bontemps of ESPN has just an extremely satisfying summary of Kyrie Irving’s 2018–2019 season as the leader and guiding brain genius of this underperforming Celtics squad. As a good and righteous person who justifiably loathes all Boston sports teams, reading it will make you feel like a million ...