to Page 793 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giannis And Embiid, Just A Couple Of Giant Space Monsters Smashing Everyone Else Into Hell
The Bucks played the 76ers yesterday, in Milwaukee. The game had an outcome; the outcome had no effect on the standings. I am here to call to your attention the two giant space monsters, Giannis Antetokounmpo and Joel Embiid, who combined for 92 points and 31 rebounds in the game and made everybody ...
WWE Signing Stokely Hathaway Is A Sign That Wrestling Managers Are Back
When WWE announces a new class of signees for its Performance Center in the Orlando area, the notable names tend to go public in advance. WWE infamously instructs its incoming talent not to tell anyone, but those wrestlers still have to finish up their independent dates before joining the promotion,...
You're Not Supposed To Be Allowed To Do This
It’s not that points matter any more as the weather turns warmer—they count just as much in November as they do in March—but this is the part of the season where every blown, salvaged, earned, or gifted point comes with the attached hyperawareness. The Dallas Stars are in the thick of it, two points...
The NCAA Tournament Bracket Is Out Which Means It's Time To Complain
The ball has not been tipped (yet), but here we are. The NCAA Tournament field is set and there are plenty of emotions that a lot of people are probably going through now. The teams they dislike somehow got in while the teams that are near and dear to their hearts somehow got snubbed. Their coworker...
Let's Check In To See How Some MLB Teams Are Treating Their Minor-League Players
A report from Emily Waldon and Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic states that the Toronto Blue Jays have taken the novel approach of paying some of their employees fairer wages. Players in all eight of the team’s minor-league affiliates will receive a pay increase worth anywhere from 40 to 56 percent, as...
Good Lord, Florida Got Screwed
With 6.2 seconds left in the game, No. 22 Auburn’s Jared Harper missed an important free throw that would have killed any chance at a Florida comeback. Instead, it left enough time for the Gators to get something up to try and tie this game up, down just 65-62....
High School Playoff Game Ends With Rare Double Court Storming After Officials Wave Off Presumed Buzzer-Beater
Minnesota high schools Albany and Melrose faced off on Friday with a section championship and a spot in the state tournament on the line. Albany had only 2.3 seconds left in the game to get up a game-winning shot after Melrose had just put themselves up by one point. Albany inbounded the ball to And...
Guy In Charge Of Protecting Cam Newton On The Field Couldn't Protect Himself From Getting Knocked Out On The Street
Footage from a security camera caught Carolina Panthers guard Taylor Hearn getting knocked out cold while fighting someone who clearly did not match his 6-foot-4-inch frame or was anywhere near the lineman’s listed weight at 315 lbs. ...
Cold-Blooded Andrew Nembhard Winner Helps Florida Knock Off LSU
Florida and LSU had split a pair of overtime games in the regular season, so it’s no surprise their battle today in the SEC Tournament went down to the wire. The teams traded clutch shots in the final minute before the Gators came out on top, 76-73....
Mark Scheifele Fetches His Stick And Scores After Zdeno Chara Launches It Into The Mesosphere
The point of a stick lift is just to get it off the ice, where it’s in prime position to deflect a shot from the point. That’s all Zdeno Chara was trying to do here to Mark Scheifele on the Jets’ power play—that he lifted it into the netting was just a happy accident. That Chara wasn’t whistled for ...
Zion Williamson Is JUST FINE
Thursday night Zion Williamson made his first appearance for Duke since the shoe explosion seen ‘round the world, helping the Blue Devils to a comfortable 84–72 win over Syracuse in the ACC Tournament quarterfinals. For those who were concerned a knee sprain might sap some of Williamson’s brain-scra...
Tony Ferguson's Wife Files Restraining Order Following Multiple Incidents With Police
Cristina Ferguson, wife of UFC lightweight fighter Tony Ferguson, filed a request for a temporary restraining order yesterday against her husband in Orange County Superior Court. Online court records didn’t provide many details about why Christina Ferguson requested the order, but police reports ob...
College Basketball Player Sets Up Game-Winner With The Classic Off-The-Butt Play
The Eastern Washington Eagles are headed to their first Big Sky championship game in over 30 years thanks to a clever play involving a butt. Trailing by a point with 4.6 seconds left in Wednesday’s semifinal against two-seed Northern Colorado, freshman point guard Jessica McDowell-White had to inbou...
Wizards Descend On Minor-League Hockey Game To Cause Impossible Goal
The Manitoba Moose beat the Texas Stars 4-3 in AHL play on Wednesday night, but the Moose’s continued dominance on home ice is not the story here. The big news came midway through the second period, when the apparent existence of magic in our material world was revealed to us through a shot by Stars...
Let's Argue About How Much Fancy Williams-Sonoma Lollipops Cost
If I may, I would like to take you Inside The Game. There was a moment during the recording of this podcast—it came maybe two-thirds of the way through the experience of my boss absolutely fucking cleaning my clock at Guess The Price Of This Ridiculous Gilded Kitchen Doodad—when I looked over at Meg...
The Pistons Have Played Like Stepped-In Dog Shit For Two Straight Games
Just four days ago, the Detroit Pistons clobbered the Bulls 131-108 at home, extending what had been a surprisingly nice little run of games for such a terminally mediocre franchise. That win over the Bulls was Detroit’s 12th in 15 games, and they were starting to look like a team deserving of a pla...
Connor McDavid Is Having Another Hell Of A Wasted Season
The Oilers maybe could’ve tricked themselves into believing they were still in the playoff hunt if they had won Wednesday night, as two points would have kept them dead even with the newly optimistic Chicago Blackhawks in the wild card chase. Instead, they lost 6-3 at home to the New Jersey Devils—w...
Get To Know The Rich Assholes Charged With Paying Millions In Bribes To Get Their Kids Into College
Parents obsessing over their kids getting into good colleges is nothing new, but committing actual crimes to make it happen would seemingly require a particular mindset and financial position. When the Justice Department announced yesterday charges and indictments in an absolutely batshit college ad...
Ronda Rousey Is Highlighting WWE's Problems With Breaking The Fourth Wall
WWE works best when it sticks to the rules. This is more a question of storytelling than it is of sport, although that’s always true. This is why someone unfamiliar with the beats of professional wrestling but attuned to how narrative works can understand wrestling even if they don’t comprehend the ...
The 2018(ish) Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
[greets you at the door while wearing a frayed holiday sweater; offers you curdled egg nog]...