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The Eastern Conference Playoffs Are Going To Be Good As Hell
The Eastern Conference has been dogshit since I started watching basketball, and though the conference’s 2019 Finals participant will surely be skiing uphill in pursuit of a title, the three most significant trades of deadline week all featured Eastern Conference teams getting better by acquiring pl...
Marlins Trade J.T. Realmuto To The Phillies, Who Are Quickly Going All-In
Woo-hoo, we got some real, honest-to-god MLB transaction news to talk about! Hooray! After a long winter of drawn-out rumors, the Marlins have decided to trade top catcher J.T. Realmuto to the Phillies in exchange for an enticing if unproven bag of a few players and potential future players....
Nik Stauskas And Wade Baldwin's Wacky Trade Adventure Ends In Indianapolis
When this week began, Nik Stauskas was already playing on his third team in the past two seasons. Like, actually kind of playing: 15.3 minutes per game with the Portland Trail Blazers. Third-year guard Wade Baldwin IV, who was already on his second NBA club, played significantly less. It was not rea...
Bryce Harper Met With The Giants, But That Won't Work Out Either
It is extremely difficult to talk about the continuing free agencies of Bryce Harper and Manny Machado without finding yourself trapped in a valley of nihilistic despair, with no hope of escape besides the sudden appearance of a “mystery team” savior. With five days until Spring Training begins, eve...
Nothing Matters As Long As The Warriors Still Exist
While the rest of the NBA was playing hot potato with middling assets on Wednesday night, the Golden State Warriors decided to remind everyone that nothing matters, and that every NBA transaction from now until Kevin Durant decides where he wants to play next summer will be rendered meaningless by w...
Look Who's Back!
The only thing that really matters about a catchphrase is that it gets said. The repetition is the meaning. Of course, by definition, We’re Back every time a new Deadcast arrives online. This is true if it’s Marchman and me and Lauren, or if it’s Marchman and Megan and Dom, or theoretically if it wa...
One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....
Here Are The Police Reports From The Domestic Disturbance Involving Antonio Brown
Police released several reports today generated by the report of a domestic disturbance last month at Antonio Brown’s home in Hollywood, Fla. According to the reports, the mother of one of Brown’s children went to the information desk at police headquarters on Jan. 18 and told them that she and the ...
![Bobi And Tobi's Beautiful Friendship Survives The Clippers-Sixers Trade [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/hh9fz1xkxuznmi8m9z30.jpg)
Bobi And Tobi's Beautiful Friendship Survives The Clippers-Sixers Trade [Update]
By now you’ve heard about the blockbuster trade that sent Clippers great Boban Marjanovic to the Sixers in exchange for a quiver of picks and some rotation guys. Big Boban is on the move, but he won’t be alone. Bobi will head to Philly accompanied by his dear friend Tobias “Tobi” Harris, in a pairin...
Petra Kvitova Describes Knife Attack To Court: "I Fell On The Floor And There Was Blood Everywhere"
When she was the No. 11 tennis player in the world, Petra Kvitova was the victim of a December 2016 knife attack at her home in Prostejov, Czech Republic. It slashed all five fingers of her playing hand. After nearly four hours of surgery and five months of recovery, she won her first match back in ...
The Sixers Are Going For It
The Philadelphia 76ers have acquired not-quite-all-star forward Tobias Harris from the Los Angeles Clippers, in a blockbuster trade first reported overnight by ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski. They’ll have the strongest starting five in the East, by miles—and, given the risks they’re taking, now had bette...
John Wall Imperils Several Perfectly Fine Ligaments Threatening JuJu Smith-Schuster Over Injury Joke
Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster gave some very mild business to John Wall over the particulars of his latest injury, which involved Wall rupturing his Achilles tendon while walking around his own home. Wall is no doubt in a sensitive state of mind at the moment, and he was not amused:...
Jakub Vrana Nefariously Dinged It Off The Goalie's Back For A Goal
NHL goalies, traditionally, are used by teams to keep the puck out of their own net. But what if they could be corrupted? What if, for example, an enterprising and devious young Washington winger could turn, hypothetically, a Vancouver goaltender’s own body against him? What if a Machiavellian Capit...
Head Of International Ski Federation Denies Climate Change, Says It's Easier To Work With Dictators<em></em>
In an interview with Tages Anzeiger ahead of the alpine world championships, Gian-Franco Kasper, the president of the International Ski Federation, forwarded some opinions about climate change, immigrants, and working with dictators. The interview amounts to an all-you-can-eat buffet of batshit thin...
This Is What It Takes To Sign Auston Matthews
The thing about building an elite team—something the Leafs have done for the very first time in the salary-cap era—is that, very quickly, you have to figure out how to pay for it. It gets top-heavy, and you either have to get creative, or see it all fall apart. The Maple Leafs already agreed to pay ...
There Was A Big Ol' Brawl Between Patriots Fans At Their Super Bowl Parade
The Patriots held their Super Bowl parade today in Boston, and when you have so many in this short of a span, it gets a little repetitive. The team took a shot at ESPN’s Max Kellerman, because apparently he was this year’s big baddie who needed to be proven wrong. Bionic mastiff Rob Gronkowski and h...
John Wall Slipped On His Infected Heel That Had Bone Spurs And His Achilles Tendon Exploded And His Supermax Begins Next Year<em></em>
Here is perhaps the grimmest news item of the NBA season, relayed by the Washington Wizards under the devastatingly deadpan headline, “John Wall Injury Update.”...
How Baylor Happened
WACO, Texas — There’s not much to recommend spending four years in Waco. Driving into town up Interstate 35 from the south, the endless stretch of Texas nothing fills out slowly. It’s flat in the way you think Texas is flat. Empty fields give way to John Deere dealerships, then fast-food chains. On ...
Marvin Bagley Whirls Into Insane Alley-Oop
Lob pass heaved from beyond the arc—always sweet. Lob pass heaved from beyond the arc and then caught and thrown down for a spinning dunk—that’s much sweeter. Kings guard Yogi Ferrell saw rookie Marvin Bagley sneaking behind the defense, then hit him for exactly that play late in Monday night’s 127-...
Cubs Co-Owner Tom Ricketts Apologizes For All The Racist Emails In His Dad's Inbox
Yesterday, our colleagues at Splinter published a collection of insanely racist emails from the inbox of Joe Ricketts, the billionaire patriarch of the Ricketts family, which currently owns the Chicago Cubs. Found in these emails is Joe Ricketts expressing his appreciation for plainly racist jokes a...