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Here's A Blessed Video Of Johnny Cueto Riding A Prancing Pony
As rich person hobbies go, horses are one of the riskier and more complicated ones. Horses are expensive and cool, but they are also huge and don’t listen to reason and take enormous dumps. Compare that to a rich person pursuit like owning visual art or islands or a bunch of cars—all of which are al...

Manny Machado Had To Eat A Little Shit Over His "Johnny Hustle" Comment
Manny Machado fucked up when he admitted during the NLCS that he doesn’t hustle on every play. His fuck-up was not in not hustling, because do you know who else doesn’t run at full speed on every single play, every single sharp grounder to second, every can-of-corn pop-up to short center? Every majo...

Ken Hitchcock Is Unretiring To Coach The Oilers
At the end of last season, following a fruitless campaign with the Stars, longtime NHL head coach Ken Hitchcock announced his retirement, leaving the NHL after somewhat successful stints with four different franchises and a 1999 Stanley Cup win....

Old Tony Parker Stepped In And Gave Kemba Walker A Break, And It Ruled
Two minutes and seven seconds remained on the clock in last night’s Celtics-Hornets game, and Kemba Walker was tired. He had every right to be: To that point, he’d scored 40 points—18 in the fourth quarter alone—in just under 37 minutes of playing time. And these were not ordinary minutes, but rathe...

Vlade Divac Is Pissed About Coaching Decisions That Have The Kings Winning Actual Games
The Kings jumped out to a big early lead over the visiting Thunder Monday night, then withstood a furious Russell Westbrook-led surge, then made a series of clutch buckets and free throws in the final five minutes to secure their second win over OKC this season. Five Kings scored in double-figures; ...

Vincent Trocheck Taken Off Ice On Stretcher After His Leg Does Several Wrong Things All At Once
Vincent Trocheck of the Florida Panthers was stretchered off the ice Monday night after twisting and bending his right leg in horrifying fashion. In hockey parlance, this is just another lower body injury; in layman’s terms, Trocheck’s leg bends too far at the knee, and in too many directions below ...

The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....

Me And My Boy Snuck Into The Greatest Football Game Ever Played
Sunday night’s Gonzaga-DeMatha matchup for DC’s Catholic league title was, objectively speaking, the greatest event in the history of mankind. Sporting or otherwise. (Non-believers can watch it all here.)...
![UFC Fighter Rachael Ostovich Hospitalized After Alleged Domestic Violence Attack [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/manqvsp7krvkxgzgx9mw.jpg)
UFC Fighter Rachael Ostovich Hospitalized After Alleged Domestic Violence Attack [Update]
UFC flyweight Rachael Ostovich was hospitalized yesterday afternoon after suffering a broken orbital bone following an alleged domestic attack by “someone close to her.” TMZ first reported news of the hospitalization, and the Honolulu Police Department confirmed to TMZ this morning that it has opene...

The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game between pretty much any two other NBA teams, even really shitty ones like the Phoenix Suns or New York Knicks, and spend some time toggling back and forth between the two every few m...

James Worthy Played Bass And The Minutemen's Mike Watt Has The Story To Prove It<em></em>
“Have you always been a basketball fan?” This is me, asking Mike Watt, one of my heroes, a pretty basic question. It is, if we’re being honest, a feeble softball, lobbed with all the force of an Andy Borowitz gag. This happened around noon, an hour earlier than we were supposed to begin our two-man ...

Loogie This Video And See If You Think Marshal Yanda Spat On Vontaze Burfict<em></em>
We’ve got a controversy! Over spit. A spitroversy....

Malcolm Jenkins Flipped Off Sean Payton After Alvin Kamara Burned Him
The Saints spent their entire Sunday afternoon embarrassing the Eagles, but the most humiliating moment might have come early in the fourth quarter of the eventual 48-7 win. Up by 31 already and facing 4th-and-7 just outside of field goal range, the Saints elected to go for it. Drew Brees hit Alvin ...

Washington Needs A Quarterback. I Know A Guy!
If you saw what happened to Alex Smith’s leg, you didn’t need the updates. Watching the video was enough to tell you that his tibia and fibula were broken, and that he needed immediate surgery, and that he’s out for the year. It was one of the more gruesome football injuries in recent memory, and ca...
![Alex Smith Leaves Game On Stretcher With Gruesome Leg Injury [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/iulel5j7srb4udsyaltn.jpg)
Alex Smith Leaves Game On Stretcher With Gruesome Leg Injury [Update]
On a third-and-nine play in the third quarter, Kareem Jackson and J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans sacked Washington quarterback Alex Smith in the backfield for a big loss. The sack forced Smith to land awkwardly on his leg and cause an injury painful enough that the quarterback had to be taken off o...

Braves Prospect Appears To Break Foot After Hitting Walk-Off Homer In AFL Championship Game
Baseball season came to an end in Arizona on Saturday when Atlanta Braves prospect Braxton Davidson hit a walk-off homer to win MLB’s Arizona Fall League for the Peoria Javelinas over the Salt River Rafters. The homer came in the bottom of the tenth on a 2-1 count with the bases empty, and Davidson...

Quenton Nelson Fined For Leading With His Helmet On Play Made In Edited Viral Video
Rookie offensive lineman Quenton Nelson had a highlight go viral this week that featured him hilariously yelling as he drove right into Jaguars linebacker Barry Church. Apparently, during the height of its popularity, the video made its way to the desk of the league’s head office. The NFL announced ...

Dwight Howard Heckled By Arena Worker During Post-Game Free-Throw Practice
The hackneyed image of an NBA player taking time after an arena has emptied out to practice getting his shots up becomes a story at least once a season for teams that are failing to meet expectations, or just generally struggling. Fresh off a 115-104 home loss to the Nets that put the Wizards at 5-1...

Barstool Sports Chud Has Heated Gaming Moment, Tells Virtual Joel Embiid To "Go Back To Africa"
If there’s one thing that is true in this world, it’s that anyone who spends a substantial amount of their time recording themselves playing video games will eventually say something regrettable on camera. There have been many heated gaming moments in the past, and there will be more in the future....

If USA Gymnastics Dies, What Takes Its Place?<em></em>
Until two years ago, there was no question over who controlled gymnastics in the United States. USA Gymnastics, the sport’s national governing body, had been in charge of administering the sport at every level, from novice all the way up through elite, since the early 1960s. Other organizations had ...