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Portuguese Soccer Officials And Juventus Offer Dumbass Thoughts On Cristiano Ronaldo Rape Allegations
Earlier today, Portugal’s national team manager, Fernando Santos, and the country’s soccer federation president, Fernando Gomes, competed to see who could be the biggest, most tone-deaf moron when they each offered their commentary on the rape allegation attached to Cristiano Ronaldo. Not content wi...
The Hater's Guide To The MLB Playoffs
The baseball season gets much stranger as it narrows down in October, which is not a novel observation but is one that is already proving itself out. Before we even recorded this week’s Deadcast, a Wild Card game had been decided in the dead of night on a hit by a backup catcher who was one of the ...
We're One Game Into The Season And Brad Marchand Is Already Being A Prick
The defending champion Capitals rained righteous hellfire on the Boston Bruins Wednesday night, crushing them 7-0 in front of a celebratory crowd in their season opener. The Bruins are a bunch of ornery bastards when they’re up 7-0, but when Caps center Lars Eller picked up the last of his team’s go...
Capitals Set New Record In Brutal Season-Opening Thrashing Of Boston
The Capitals wasted absolutely no time in getting their Stanley Cup-defending season off on the right foot following a long and Barry Trotz-less banner-hanging ceremony. Just 24 seconds or so into the game—before NBCSN had even had a chance to put the scoreboard chyron on the screen—TJ Oshie ripped ...
Capitals Erase Barry Trotz From Season-Opening Banner-Hanging Ceremony
The Capitals did their big banner raising ceremony before Wednesday night’s season opener. It was very long! It included both a four-and-a-half minute montage set to Mumford & Sons, and a three-and-a-half minute montage set to Queen, and then an excruciatingly slow two-and-a-half minute raising of t...
Another Empty Congressional Hearing About Sexual Abuse In Sports Came And Went
With many of the cameras and reporters gone, the fourth Senate hearing about sexual abuse in Olympic sports took on a different tone. There was no yelling. There was no demanding of answers. CEOs of the organizations that oversee Olympic sports had a few chuckles. The grandstanding was gone, just th...
Tom Wilson Gets 20(!)-Game Suspension For His Hit On Oskar Sundqvist
The NHL has suspended Washington Capitals goon Tom Wilson 20 games for his hit to the head of Blues forward Oskar Sundqvist in a preseason game on Sunday. The suspension for the hit comes down just hours before the Capitals open up their season against the Bruins....
Barcelona Combine Two Leaping Volleys To Produce A Beautiful Goal
I don’t know which is more impressive: the leaping, spinning kick that Phillipe Coutinho pulled off to salvage what looked like a squandered goal-scoring chance, or the leaping pile driver of a shot Ivan Rakitić put on the other end of Coutinho’s pass to give Barcelona a 2-0 lead on Tottenham:...
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Manhunt Is On For Aston Villa Fan Who Chucked A Cabbage At The Team's Manager
Yesterday’s Aston Villa-Preston match was a thriller that ultimately ended in tragedy for the Villans. Though it must have hurt to watch the ball bulge the back of their net three times in the disappointing 3-3 draw, the spheroid that arguably caused Villa the deepest psychic injury was the head of ...
Everton's Richarlison Came Up With The Most Embarrassing Penalty Kick Of The Year
Southampton beat Everton in the penalty kicks in third round of the EFL Cup this afternoon. This was in large part thanks to Everton forward Richarlison, who tried an ill-advised Neymar impression, short-circuited, and sent his penalty over the cross bar. ...
Markieff Morris's Bad Temper Is In Mid-Season Form
My friends, the Morris twins are extremely back on their bullshit. Last week Marcus Morris took the bait when Tristan Thompson ran his mouth about the LeBron-less Cavs still being the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Also last week Markieff Morris felt it sensible to declare that the Boston C...
Kyrie Irving Is Sorry For Ironically(?) Perpetuating The Flat Earth Theory
Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving has something of a confession: He was not totally serious about being a big-time flat Earth guy, even though he spent a lot of time playing the part of a fake-deep intellectual. At a panel today, Kyrie blamed an algorithm-fueled YouTube binge for his incorrect belie...
Todd Bowles Hates Risk, Loves Meaningless Field Goals And Punts<em></em>
Was it really only three weeks ago that the Jets thumped the Lions on Monday Night Football? Did that win, which ushered in that unfamiliar sensation of honest-to-goodness hope, actually happen this season? The Jets haven’t won since, and Sunday’s 31-12 loss at the Jaguars was a total fartbomb that ...
Jayson Werth To Cop After DUI: "I'm Just Not Sure I Trust You"
Back in April, former Washington Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth was arrested in Arizona for driving under the influence. Today, TMZ posted video of that arrest, which includes Werth telling the police officer that he’s not sure if the officer is lying to him....
Predators' Ryan Johansen Skates Off Ice After Walk-Off Goal
After seven seasons in the NHL, Predators center Ryan Johansen surely knows that the importance of the preseason pales in comparison to that of the regular season. It might be useful for the rookies, and other young guys, to develop their skills and mentally adjust to top-level game speeds, but it w...
A Ridiculously Gutsy Fourth-Down Failure Gifted The Texans A Win Over The Colts
Look, I’m all for going for it on fourth down, and there’s a large part of me that has tremendous respect for Colts coach Frank Reich’s bold decision-making in overtime of Indy’s game against the Texans today. But with just 27 seconds left in a tie game, and the ball on your own 43, facing fourth-an...
Tom Wilson Is Still Doing Tom Wilson Things
The 2018-19 NHL season hasn’t even officially started yet and Tom Wilson is already back on his bullshit. In the second period of the Capitals final preseason game, Wilson absolutely leveled Blues center Oskar Sundqvist and was assessed a major penalty and a game misconduct for it....
<i>Peppa Pig</i> Bumps Bellator 206 Main Event In The U.K., Enraging British Fight Fans
It was already going to be difficult enough for MMA fans living in the U.K. to catch the main card of Bellator 206. The event was taking place in a time zone with an eight-hour time difference, which forced them to choose between a good night’s rest, or a late night of fight sports. But it was ultim...
Red Sox Fan Throws Back Home Run Ball, Hits Giancarlo Stanton
In the face of seeing his team allow the Yankees to get their 100th win of the season, this Red Sox fan was able to get a little victory of his own on Saturday. After Giancarlo Stanton rocketed a homer into the Green Monster’s seats, the fan in question grabbed the baseball and threw it back onto th...