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NCAA Weighing Ban On Keegan Brewer's Incredible Trick Punt Return<em></em>
North Texas sophomore Keegan Brewer pulled one of the ballsiest stunts in all of college football on Saturday; naturally, it took about three days for the NCAA to try to outlaw it forever....
All Is Not Well In Minnesota
Jimmy Butler helped the Minnesota Timberwolves improve their win total by a whopping 16 games from the 2016-2017 season to last season. Playing with one of the NBA’s most promising young big men and surrounded by, umm, a familiar cast of playoff-tested veterans, it would seem that Butler has landed ...
Antonio Brown Is Winless And Grouchy
The Steelers don’t need Le’Veon Bell around to continue with the infighting and grumpiness; they’ve got that covered. The day after Pittsburgh was beaten 42-37 at home by Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, a former Steelers flack said that Antonio Brown’s success was solely attributed to Ben Roethlisbe...
The Skins Didn't Sell Out Their Home Opener Because They Stink
Fresh off admitting that their 200,000-person season ticket waiting list never actually existed, Washington hosted the Indianapolis Colts in their home opener yesterday. The team’s stated 50-year home sellout streak has long been bunk, but if there was ever a time to see a big crowd at a Skins game,...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Stealing Jameis Winston's Job
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers improved to 2-0 on this young season by beating the defending champion Philadelphia Eagles 27-21 this afternoon. They won the game thanks in large part to backup quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, who will be elevated to the Bucs’ Plan A if he keeps playing like this....
Deshaun Watson Totally Biffs Final Play, Texans Lose To Titans
In a very special Sunday presentation of Thursday Night Football, the Titans beat the Texans 20-17 in a game that saw Blaine Gabbert throw for 117 yards and have the third-highest passer rating on his own team. ...
Damontae Kazee Ejected For Late Helmet-To-Helmet Hit On Cam Newton<em></em>
A 10-yard fourth-down scramble from Cam Newton led to a brutal head-to-head collision and an ejection for Falcons safety Damontae Kazee in the second quarter of today’s Panthers-Falcons game. Newton slid down at the end of his run and took a straight-on helmet-to-helmet hit from the Falcons defender...
Titans Run A Very Neat Fake Punt For 66-Yard TD
Two Tennessee Titans safeties—All-Pro Kevin Byard and fifth-round rookie Dane Cruikshank—combined to shock the Texans on their team’s opening drive, connecting on a 66-yard pass for the first fake punt touchdown of the season. ...
Disease-Carrying Vermin Still A Little Too On-The-Nose As Coincidental Mets-Adjacent Phenomenon
The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusi...
Alexander Ovechkin Gains Vitality From Booze
The Capitals are mostly pretty chill about the perception that they perhaps partied too hard after winning the Stanley Cup, and the fact that their boozy celebrations inspired new rules about the way champions are allowed to handle the Cup. Anyway, that’s the gist of an ESPN report that depicts the ...
Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum
Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...
The Red Sox Won Thanks To A Very Avoidable Error
The Red Sox wrapped up a three-game sweep of the Blue Jays last night in Fenway in a very silly way. With the game tied in the eighth, Xander Bogaerts reached base on a one-out double, then stole third. Blake Swihart then pinged a tiny pop-up into the shallow outfield, and he seemed pissed as he tro...
Sociopathic Barstool Founder Dave Portnoy Giddy About "Suffocating" ESPN Host Sam Ponder In "Online War"<em></em><em></em>
Barstool Sports founder president Dave Portnoy yet again has gleefully engineered a targeted harassment campaign against a woman who he thinks wronged his company....
Erik Karlsson Is Finally Free
It comes about a half-season too late, but longtime Senators blue-line rock Erik Karlsson is finally getting the hell out of the ruins of Ottawa. He’s getting dealt to the Sharks for kids and draft picks, and he’ll play the final season of his contract in San Jose before hitting a lucrative payday i...
Prosecutors: Jabari Bird Repeatedly Choked Girlfriend Unconscious Over Four Hours
Celtics swingman Jabari Bird was arraigned today at the Brighton (Mass.) Municipal Court on a series of domestic violence charges, including assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery of a family or household member, kidnapping, and strangulation. Bird allegedly assaulted his g...
Stephen Strasburg Plunked Three Guys With One Pitch
Efficiency is important for a starting pitcher, so give credit to Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg, who Wednesday night tagged hitter Jorge Alfaro, his own teammate Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one baseball....
Yep, America's Worst Human Is Still President
Hey pals. How’s your morning been? Did your Breakfast Behemoth turn out okay? Here’s what the President of the United States has been up to:...
Predators' Austin Watson Suspended 27 Games For Domestic Violence
Nashville Predators winger Austin Watson has been suspended 27 games without pay—nearly a third of the season—for “unacceptable off-ice conduct,” for his June domestic assault arrest for an incident in which he struck and shoved his girlfriend, and to which he pleaded no contest. How did the league...
Fan Struck In Forehead By Flying Bat At Red Sox Game, Stretchered Off
It wasn’t all cool-headed ushers snagging foul liners at Fenway Wednesday night. Blue Jays second baseman Devon Travis lost his grip on his bat on a swing on a Steven Wright knuckler in the eighth inning, and the bat cleared the safety netting and sailed into the stands, where it struck the forehead...
Fenway Park Usher Earns A Few Moments Of Showboating With Slick Bare-Handed Catch
In the top of the second inning of Wednesday night’s Blue Jays-Red Sox game, Yangervis Solarte fouled a first-pitch fastball back into the stands behind the first base line, where it was snagged by a remarkably badass Fenway usher:...