to Page 846 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shawn Kelley's Glove-Throwing Meltdown Will Cost Him His Spot On The Nationals
Last night, Nationals reliever Shawn Kelley gave up a completely meaningless ninth-inning home run to Austin Jackson, which turned the Nationals 23-run win into a 21-run win. Maybe he was mad about dulling Washington’s historic margin, or maybe he was just angry that he was in the game at all, but K...
Behold A Cursed Phrase: "The Worst Loss In Mets History"
It is obviously not so simple as this, but when a team, especially one as desperately crummy as the New York Mets, decides to stand pat at the trade deadline, the front office (or perhaps ownership, in this instance) is saying to fans and to the players, “This is fine.” Is this fine? Mere hours afte...
Angry French Tennis Guy Melts Down By Smashing Multiple Rackets, Then Quitting<em></em>
Tempers were running high today during early-round action at the Washington Open in D.C.—dangerously high, if you happen to be a tennis racket. In a weird match that saw eventual victor Marcos Baghdatis get rattled by a distracting trash cart, notorious hothead Benoit Paire one-upped his opponent’s...
The Roberto Osuna Case Has Turned Baseball Reporters Into Psychics And Sermonists
Here is what’s known publicly about what happened on May 8 in Toronto. That day, according to Toronto police, Roberto Osuna, 23, of Toronto was charged with assault. News reports added that the victim was a woman. Police said Osuna was scheduled to appear in court in June. Since then, the only upda...
Aw, You Guys, The Pirates Are Actually Trying To Get Better
The Pittsburgh Pirates, a “small-market” MLB team whose owner prefers hoarding his money to spending it on good players, actually made a deal today to improve the team. I know, right?! These scrappy little tightwad nobodies acquired an honest-to-gosh name people have heard of in Rays starter Chris A...
Kidnapped Shark Found Safe; Thief Confesses To Stealing Her To Replace His Old Shark
We have a very happy update for you in the case of Helen, the horn shark who was the subject of a daring stroller heist this weekend at the San Antonio Aquarium. Not only has Helen been found, but she appears to have been lovingly cared for by her captor, who stole her in the first place because he ...
So This Is What It's Come To: A Brad Ziegler MLB Trade Deadline Liveblog
The MLB non-waiver trade deadline is at 4 p.m. today, and there’s only one prize on every team’s mind: Marlins reliever Brad Ziegler. Where will he end up? Follow along with the number one liveblog dedicated solely to the Unicorn, which is apparently his nickname according to Baseball Reference. And...
Lights Go Out On Diamondbacks Game, Pedro Gomez Briefly Blames Rampaging Baboon
Top of the sixth, tie game, men on second and third, and the lights went out in Phoenix:...
Bryce Harper Is Available
Good morning! It’s just about seven hours until the trade deadline, and Bryce Harper could be on the block....
Cops: Trio Stole Shark By Swaddling It Like A Baby, Pushing It Out In A Stroller<em></em>
If you saw a baby being pushed in a stroller near the San Antonio aquarium on Saturday afternoon, guess what, it might have been a shark. According to Leon Valley police chief Joseph Salvaggio, three enterprising shark thieves made off with a three-foot long horn shark around 2:15 p.m. on Saturday a...
This Children's Book Is Messed Up: <i>The Story Of Babar</i>
The Babar I remember from childhood was a jolly elephant who goes on adventures. Somehow that’s all I took with me into adulthood from early readings of The Story of Babar by Jean de Brunhoff (and his wife Cécile, who first told their children the story at bedtime), a children’s classic that spurred...
Dwight Howard Swears That The Warriors Were Interested In Him
Dwight Howard—team-killer, corny joke maker, toxic locker-room presence, and general oaf—signed with the Washington Wizards a few weeks ago, his fourth team in four seasons. The market for him in free agency was quite small, and yet he somehow landed on the team with players who aren’t all fond of ...
Lawson Craddock's Brave, Broken Ride For Dead Last Is What The Tour De France Is All About
Less than 100 miles into the 2018 Tour de France, disaster struck American rider Lawson Craddock. TV cameras didn’t capture precisely what happened, but with around 80 kilometers left in Stage 1, Craddock emerged behind the peloton bloodied and bruised after hitting a water bottle and falling during...
A Two-Win Team Won The Arena Football League Title
The Washington Valor won the ArenaBowl on Saturday night, beating the Baltimore Brigade, 69-55, to capture the 31st title of the Arena Football League. Arvell Nelson led the way for the Valor with five rushing touchdowns and three TDs through the air. ...
The Value Of Public Shaming
The bad old tweets are an increasingly permanent component of the news cycle: An athlete does something good—has a good run of appearances, or gets drafted, or, say, loses a no-hitter with two strikes to go—and someone looks up his very old (and very public) tweets, which are racist and/or homophobi...
Jackie Bradley Jr., What
It will mean absolutely nothing for you to learn that Jackie Bradley made another insane catch on Sunday to rob an extra-base hit, but this one is really something else. At no point prior to the moment when it landed in his glove did this ball look remotely catchable:...
Jimmer Fredette, Of All People, Explodes For 41 Points In TBT Contest
Jimmer Fredette made his presence felt early and often against the Fort Wayne Champs in The Basketball Tournament Friday night, playing for, I kid you not, Team Fredette. The 10th pick in the 2010 NBA Draft exploded for 41 points and wreaked havoc from beyond the arc, shooting 6-for-11 from downtown...
Whew, Tom Benson's Estate Battle Was Ugly And Sad As Hell
The legal proceedings by which three of late Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson’s closest family members were removed from his businesses and will were ugly, and marked by profane outbursts from an enfeebled Benson, according to a report from the New Orleans Advocate....
Tom Brady Gets Prickly As Hell About Alex Guerrero's Possible Connection To Julian Edelman's PED Suspension
Even though the Patriots have distanced themselves from Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s TB12 body coach and business partner’s name is still circling around New England. This time, though, it’s in connection with Julian Edelman’s four-game suspension for violating the NFL’s performance-enhancing drug pol...