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How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...
Bayern Munich President Brutally And Inexplicably Owns Mesut Özil
Germany and Arsenal midfielder Mesut Ozil announced his retirement from international soccer on Sunday, citing racism from fans, criticism of a photo he took with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, and unfair scapegoating by German’s top soccer officials. For no obvious reason, Bayern Munich pr...
Nationals Executive Has To Resort To Crowdfunding For Leukemia Treatment
Doug Harris, the Washington Nationals’ assistant GM and vice president of player personnel, holds a significant position in the organization—and yet, even an MLB team executive has to resort to asking the public to help cover his medical costs....
Ryan Lochte Suspended A Year Over Incredible Instagram Self-Own
The United States Anti-Doping Agency announced this morning that jolly bro airhead Ryan Lochte would be suspended for 14 months for “his use of a prohibited method.” As the language of USADA’s release hints at, Lochte’s is not a normal doping violation, which is not surprising since Lochte is not a ...
Cyclist Kicked Out Of The Tour De France For Punching Opponent In The Face
This weekend’s Tour de France stages were relatively inert, as two Astana riders won from breakaways and the main general classification contenders opted to save their bullets for this week’s ramble through the Pyrenees. Riders have three punishing days in the mountains to look forward to this week,...
Masa Saito Was A Great Wrestler And Half Of Pro Wrestling's Most Famous Arrest
Masanori “Masa” Saito, known as Mr. Saito to a generation of American wrestling fans, passed away at the age of 76 last weekend following a long struggle with Parkinson’s disease. An Olympic freestyle wrestler in 1964, Saito was a legendarily hard man and among the most universally respected people ...
Manny Machado Knew He Had Been Traded A Week Ago
The worst-kept secret of the All-Star Game was that then-Orioles shortstop Manny Machado was heading to the Dodgers, in a trade that wouldn’t be announced until after the break—to avoid the awkwardness of Machado wearing an Orioles uniform in the ASG and head off the possibility of his story oversha...
Mesut Özil Quits International Soccer In Letter Decrying Racism And Unfair Double Standards
Mesut Özil retired from German international soccer Sunday, in a lengthy statement released on Twitter. Özil says the fallout from a photo he took with Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan in May lays bare a kind of racism he’s subjected to as a German with Turkish heritage, and that “enough is en...
The Real Hero Of The British Open Is Eddie Pepperell, Who Played His Final Round Hungover
Francesco Molinari of Italy won The Open Championship Sunday, following up his third-round 65 with a final-round 69 to finish two shots clear of the field and capture his first career major title. He is not the hero of the tournament. Nor is Tiger Woods the hero, even after his stirring two day char...
Vikings Offensive Line Coach Tony Sparano Dies Unexpectedly At Age 56
Minnesota Vikings offensive line coach Tony Sparano died suddenly Sunday morning, according to a statement from the Vikings:...
Clint Capela Is Getting Squeezed On All Sides This Summer
Hey, remember Clint Capela? The big man entered free agency this summer, and received a qualifying offer from the Houston Rockets, keeping him a restricted free agent. Capela then received a five-year contract offer from the Rockets on July 1. And that’s it. An offer was made, and it’s been about th...
Tiger Woods Rages Against The Dying Of The Light Or Whatever With Third-Round 66
Tiger Woods surged up the leaderboard at The Open Championship Saturday, jumping from 29th to a briefly held share of the lead with a third-round 66. While it may not be a performance worthy of the Golf Channel’s insane promo, it was nonetheless quite bitchin’, and leaves open the possibility of Tig...
Stephen Strasburg's Return Brings More Misery For The Sorry Nationals
Stephen Strasburg pitched for the Nationals for the first time since June 8 Friday. His return to the rotation after recovering from shoulder inflammation was hailed as a major reason for hope that a gloomy, disappointing Nationals season might turn around in the second half. Then he went out and pi...
By "Stay In Europe," Nemanja Bjelica Meant "Play For The Sacramento Kings"
So it turns out Nemanja Bjelica’s sudden resolve to play in Europe this season was only good for a couple days. Bjelica backed out of a one-year deal with the Sixers on Tuesday, then spent, oh, three days sitting with the idea of halting his NBA career, and Friday night decided to join, of all teams...
Of Course The Lakers Signed Michael Beasley
In a move that is both delightfully absurd and absolutely no surprise, the Los Angeles Lakers signed free-agent forward Michael Beasley today. It’s delightfully absurd because everything about Beasley—his mystic wisdom master personality, his microwave offense and avant-garde approach to defense—is ...
Raptors President Masai Ujiri Is Sorry For "Miscommunication" With DeMar DeRozan
Management, especially in a volatile industry like professional basketball, will say and do a lot of shit to appease the labor. Blake Griffin received a fake jersey retirement procession during the Clippers’ bid to get to him to re-sign last summer, and the team also put him on a t-shirt alongside J...
![A Few Asshole Tour De France Fans Took It Too Far Today [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/muvlf6eokqyff88sggmm.gif)
A Few Asshole Tour De France Fans Took It Too Far Today [Update]
Today the Tour de France returned to Alpe d’Huez for the 30th time in race history. Over one million fans packed the slopes of France’s most famous climb to cheer on crowd favorites like Romain Bardet, Tom Dumoulin, and Steven Kruijswijk, but mostly to sing, drink, and wave flags at riders they hate...
![Way-Too-Hardcore Toronto FC Supporters Started A Fire In Their Opponent's Stadium [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qoyvxjsdl3e4pooa3ze9.gif)
Way-Too-Hardcore Toronto FC Supporters Started A Fire In Their Opponent's Stadium [Update]
Some Toronto FC fans went fucking buckwild tonight during their Canadian Championship semifinal match against the Ottawa Fury. The most passionate part of Toronto’s supporters section—where dudes start chants and others wave ridiculously large flags—ignited a casual fire, burning the flags they were...
The Dodgers Have Won The Manny Machado Sweepstakes, Finally
Manny Machado is heading west. USA Today’s Bob Nightengale reported yesterday that the Baltimore Orioles had the framework of a deal in place to trade Machado to the Dodgers for a bushel of prospects, and the trade finally went through today after a “brief medical blip” caused both parties to stay a...
The Ethics Watchdog Going After Jim Jordan Helped Kill The Sex-Abuse Case Against Kevin Johnson<em></em>
Last week, professional ethics arbiter Norman Eisen asked Congress to investigate the Ohio State sex abuse allegations and any role played by Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), a former NCAA national wrestling champion and longtime assistant coach of the Buckeye wrestling team....