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Isaac Newton Is Not Elite
A story, in two tweets:...

Florida State Will Play Bowl Game Even After Reddit Sleuths Discover They Shouldn't Be Eligible<em></em>
Florida State went 6-6 this season, a true stinker of a campaign that all went to shit the moment Deondre Francois went down clutching his knee. At least FSU’s measly six wins afforded them the consolation prize of a bowl appearance against Southern Mississippi....

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Poor Bloke's Escalator Odyssey From Hell
Rarely does any scenario become worse after your dick and balls get smashed to hell. But our friend here, wearing what appears to be a Bristol City or maybe an England kit, was only beginning to get acquainted with true pain when he went airborne....

Here's The Moment Isaiah Thomas Found Out He'd Been Traded
From The Players’ Tribune comes this genuinely affecting video showing us the moment that Isaiah Thomas found out he had been traded from the Boston Celtics to the Cleveland Cavaliers....

Seahawks Become First-Ever Team Fined For Violating Concussion Protocol
The NFL and NFLPA announced today in a joint statement that the Seattle Seahawks will be fined $100,000 for failing to properly apply the league’s concussion protocol after a hit on QB Russell Wilson in a Seahawks-Cardinals game on Nov. 9. This fine marks the first time that an NFL team has been dis...

The Immaculate Reception And The Photographer Who Waited 45 Years To Get His Due
For the long-suffering Pittsburgh Steeler fans watching the 1972 AFC playoff game, the season appeared to be over. Trailing 7-6 to the Oakland Raiders, the Steelers faced fourth and 10 from their own 40, with 22 seconds left in the game and no timeouts remaining....

Bristol City Fans Invade The Pitch After Last-Minute Winner Against Manchester United
Korey Smith sent home a stoppage-time winner for Bristol City to give his club a 2-1 win over Manchester United in the League Cup quarterfinals today. Although United can mostly shrug off this defeat in a relatively unimportant competition, the Bristol fans at Ashton Gate won’t forget their night fo...

Rays Trade Away Face Of The Franchise For Bad Reasons
Various baseball insiders are reporting that the stove is hot this morning. Rays third baseman Evan Longoria has been shipped to the Giants in exchange for Denard Span and some other stuff:...

Lithuanian Basketball Fixer Secured Two Ball Brothers By Getting At Them On Twitter<em></em>
LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball will head across the Atlantic into the Lithuanian countryside in a few weeks, and Andrew Keh of the New York Times visited Prienai to get a sense of what they’re getting themselves into. He found a small town with Ball family fever, where the pizza joints are blaring about t...

Bert Emanuel, Who Started All The Trouble, Can Fix The NFL's Catch Rule
Nearly 18 years after Bert Emanuel’s name became synonymous with the NFL’s inability to define what constitutes a catch, the NFL still can’t define what constitutes a catch....

Report: Tom Brady's Quack Doctor Banned From Patriots' Planes And Sidelines
Alex Guerrero has maintained a strange relationship with the Patriots since 2013. He operates the TB12 therapy center next to the Patriots stadium, where he treats players, and his relationship with Brady affords him access to Patriots sidelines and the team plane. However, a day after rumors surfac...

Ohio State Forced To Stop Recruiting Top Recruit After Obscure Kirk Herbstreit Photo Violation
Micah Parsons is considered one of the best high school football players in the country. The defensive end is ranked as the seventh-best overall prospect by ESPN and fourth overall by 24/7, and before today, he was considering joining Ohio State. However, Ohio State has agreed to stop recruiting Par...

Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week: Andy Dalton Plays Football
Welcome to Bad Quarterback Performance Of The Week, a recurring feature in which we celebrate the worst quarterback play the NFL has to offer....

Here's What The Houston Texans Did Instead Of Signing Colin Kaepernick
On Oct. 29, the Houston Texans lost to the Seattle Seahawks, 41-38, a hard-fought game in which rookie QB Deshaun Watson put on an entertaining, four-touchdown, 403-yard performance. Houston was 3-4 but still sat at the edge of the playoff hunt in a weak conference, and Watson had led the offense t...
![Bucs LB Adarius Glanton Carted Off After Gross Leg Break [Graphic]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xeplnsl9b9ewr3r7axtn.jpg)
Bucs LB Adarius Glanton Carted Off After Gross Leg Break [Graphic]
The Buccaneers have lost player after player to injuries tonight, and the unlucky victim of the worst-looking one was linebacker Adarius Glanton. While blitzing Matt Ryan, Glanton collided with Robert Ayers and appeared to break his left leg falling to the ground....

Pacers Completely Blow It Thanks To Dumbest Possible Pass
Victor Oladipo and Kyrie Irving treated everyone to an enthralling late-game duel tonight, combining for 20 points in the final two minutes of the game and swapping huge threes down the stretch. The Pacers trailed for the first 47 minutes of the game and struggled to stop Boston in the first half (J...

Christian Yelich And J.T. Realmuto Are Fed Up With The Marlins
The Miami Marlins spent the last two weeks trading most of their players worth a shit elsewhere, and now, the rest of their players who are worth a shit are reportedly unhappy with the team’s management....

Austrian Hockey Fight Breaks Out During Intermission Interview
Tom Zanoski of Medveščak Zagreb in the Austrian Hockey League really didn’t want to talk about how that first period went. Or, anyway, he didn’t want to do it as much as he wanted to start throwing punches. Despite a TV reporter politely tapping Zanoski on the shoulder during the first intermission ...

Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef
The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...

Clay Matthews Thought He Knew The Panthers' Next Play, But Cam Newton Showed Him
Clay Matthews was close, and Cam Newton even lauded the Packers linebacker’s consumption of tape. But Panthers running back Christian McCaffrey ran a slant instead of a wheel route and scored the team’s first touchdown of the day....