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Nationals Continue Attempt To Fix Bullpen With Minor-League Deals For Broken Veterans
Two days after signing Francisco Rodriguez to a minor-league deal, the Nationals have kept things going by scooping up yet another shaky reliever who has seen better days—Kevin Jepsen, whose “better days” in this case were really never all that great....
Pro Cyclist Apologizes For Lame Jokes About Fucking The Podium Girls
Jan Bakelants, most famous for winning the first stage of the 2013 Tour de France and wearing the yellow jersey for a spell, is going to this year’s Tour for AG2R La Mondiale, and he wants everyone to know he’s really horny....
Texas Commit's Jaded Brother Sells Him Out To NCAA
Ibrahim Johnson, brother of five-star Texas commit Mohamed Bamba, posted a 22-minute Facebook Live video on Monday in which he repeated the phrase “long story short” at least a dozen times and claimed Bamba received, amongst other things, shoes, vacations, dental work, a television, a $200-per-week ...
The <i>New York Times</i> Is Killing Its Soul
The New York Times announced earlier this month that it was “restructuring” its copy desk, which is corporate-speak for laying off lots of copy editors, turning more than 100 jobs into about 50. Today, fellow Times reporters protested. As they should....
The Skeptic's Guide To The Tour De France
For the 104th time in history, a horde of bird-shaped dudes will climb onto their bikes, ride circles around France, and finish in Paris even more bird-shaped than when they started. Yes, the Tour de France starts this weekend in Germany (we’ll get to that) and will track a 3,540-kilometer course so...
Rick Porcello Is A Mess, But All Is Not Lost
Red Sox starter Rick Porcello seems to have been body-snatched. After winning the AL Cy Young last year, Porcello has now allowed four or more runs 10 times this season, which, per The Boston Globe’s Alex Speier, leads the majors. His ERA is an unsightly 5.06, and opponents are hitting .309 against ...
Pro Golfer's Mom Wades Into Water Hazard To Retrieve His Broken Putter
Li Haotong bogeyed the par-3 11th hole at the French Open today, and in a moment of frustration snapped his putter over his knee and tossed it into a nearby water hazard. A little later, while Li was playing the 13th hole, his mother went into the lake to retrieve the putter:...
<i>The Untouchables </i>Is Too Neat To Be A Truly Great Gangster Movie
Thirty years ago The Untouchables, Brian De Palma’s most commercial movie to that point, was released and helped launch Kevin Costner as an All-American star. This review by Pauline Kael originally appeared in The New Yorker and appears here with permission from the author’s estate....
The Best Soccer Story Is This Portuguese Team Accusing A Rival Of Hiring Witch Doctor
Porto and Benfica are the two biggest clubs in Portuguese soccer, and as such harbor a fierce rivalry. There is no step these clubs wouldn’t take in their never ending struggle to best the other. Including, according to Porto’s communications director, resorting to witchcraft....
The Rockets Might Not Be Done Making Moves
The Houston Rockets officially announced their acquisition of Chris Paul at a press conference yesterday, and GM Daryl Morey was pretty explicit about what the team’s goals are for next season. Trading for Paul might just be the beginning....
Idiot On The Field Runs Into Cardinals Shortstop Paul DeJong, Is Promptly Tackled By Security
An idiot on the field in tonight’s Diamondbacks-Cardinals game bumped into St. Louis shortstop Paul DeJong before being swarmed by several security guards and tackled to the ground. While footage of the interaction with DeJong did not immediately seem to have been captured and shared by any intrepid...
Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan Sentenced To Community Service, Banned From MLB Games
The Canadian legal system has reached a conclusion in the Great Beer-Throwing Incident of the 2016 American League Wild Card game....
Who Is This Guy The Kings Just Made The Highest-Paid Rookie In NBA History?
With the 27th pick in the 2014 NBA Draft, the Phoenix Suns selected Serbian guard Bogdan Bogdanovic (not to be confused with Wizards forward Bojan Bogdanovic or famed Serbian architect Bogdan Bogdanovic). Three years later, Bogdanovic is finally coming to play in the NBA, reportedly agreeing a three...
The Rockets Are Trading For A Bunch Of Fake Players I Think?
The Rockets swung a pretty huge trade to land Chris Paul from the Clippers this morning, but to make everything work on the money side, they’ve had to flip a few other deals to get non-guaranteed contracts to send to L.A. and elsewhere. That sound you hear? It’s the drip-drip of new Rockets arriving...
Report: Chris Paul Hated Austin And Doc Rivers
Now that Chris Paul has left for Houston, Doc Rivers faces an incredibly difficult task. J.J. Redick is reportedly out the door, and if the Clippers don’t re-sign Blake Griffin, they will suddenly be very bad. Don’t worry though. Austin Rivers is here to save the day....
Here Are Some Strong And Gross Cycling Legs
Canadian rider Antoine Duchesne was one of the last cuts from Direct Energie’s Tour de France team. The team decided not to bring sprinter Brian Coquard, which made Duchesne’s role on the team somewhat unnecessary. All that training for nothing is a huge bummer, especially because Duchesne turned h...
Clinton Portis Says He Wanted To Murder Financial Advisors Who Swindled Him
Sports Illustrated’s Brian Burnsed published a lengthy profile of former Washington running back Clinton Portis today, which tells the story of Portis’s tumultuous post-NFL career life, and all the medical and financial ruin he has gone through to finally find steady ground. In his playing days, Por...
Holy Smokes, The Rockets Just Traded For Chris Paul
Adrian Wojnarowski has blessed this slow Wednesday morning with a Woj bomb: Chris Paul is being traded to the Houston Rockets. What?!...
Florida Wins College World Series After LSU Misses Out On Tying Run Due To Interference
Florida defeated LSU to take home its first College World Series title with a 4-3 win yesterday and a 6-1 win tonight in the best-of-three series. The Gators jumped out to an early 2-0 lead off of a pair of unearned runs, and the score stayed that way until LSU began mounting their comeback in the s...
Salvador Perez Hit A Ball 427 Feet And Mikie Mahtook Robbed Him
Royals catcher Salvador Perez seemed like he had a sure hit. When the ball travels a recorded 427 feet, why wouldn’t he feel good about it? Tigers outfielder Mikie Mahtook dashed his hopes tonight:...